Boy, one day you'll be a man.
Oh, girl, please help him understand!
 — Brandon Flowers, Mark August, et al/The Killers; Smile Like You Mean it; Hot Fuss (deliberately misquoted)

Warning: This post centres around issues of toxic masculinity, Patriarchy and white fragility.

Here's why I no longer bother attempting to educate cishet white dudebros aged thirty and up on how to interact with non-men and BIPOC: the people who read the lessons are chiefly not members of the intended target audience (and that includes those cishet white men who have already learned the lessons). Those who most need to learn them are unteachable/unwilling or too full of privilege and fragility in a Patriarchal society/system that lets them get away with it because it doesn't give a bonobo's familial relation. (I also lack the requisite patience and do not possesses the interpersonal skills required to be an effective teacher. The fact that I'm a cishet white guy and supposedly part of their peer group isn't sufficient enough credence to shift them into self-reflection and performing emotional labour.)

Now, I just doomhammer on sight those destined to be Forever Alone. It's much easier and saves me the wasted effort. To conflate and mangle a metaphor or two: You can take a dead horse to water and flog it, but you can't make it float.

Those in their twenties, however, are still young enough that their gooses aren't completely cooked and they have a fighting chance of changing their ways while they still can (assuming they're willing to get past their fragility and feelings of being personally attacked/persecuted).