Thanks to the pills I'm on, I feel nothing but fine and everything is peachy; no extremes of emotion either way. That, in itself, can be problematic, since my emotional range is limited/blunted and my responses atypical.

It's been over a month since my dog died. My best girl for over a third of my life is gone forever and I still don't feel sad or miss her presence, haven't grieved. With every passing day, the likelihood of me feeling an appropriate emotional loss diminishes. At the time, all I felt was hollow and numb, an absence of emotion. I think that if I could feel anything, I'd feel angry about that, but I'm denied even that because I remain nonplussed. Everything is calm, plain sailing.

My dog, my sweet-heart, funny little ball of enthusiasm and joy, my raison d'etre, is gone and I feel nothing at all. I just keep living through empty and meaningless days in the vain hope that I might feel something, anything, other than "just fine" or hollow and numb. Living in hope is no way to live; it's a waste of time and bound to end in disappointment.