Sirwin
Sirwin
Vegan meat zombie in a restaurant (generated by AI)

An Unpopular Opinion: Vegan Meat Zombies


If/when the Zombie Apocalypse hits, Vegetarians and Vegans are going to eat meat again. Don't tell me you're not. Y'all are just one juicy beef burger or T-bone steak away from being meat zombies anyway, as far as I'm concerned. I'm surprised you're not already hideously emaciated and lurching into restaurants and steakhouses after dark to satisfy your protein cravings. (Maybe you are doing that on the down low and we just don't know it.) Is your commitment to going on a prolonged hunger strike so you can feel superior to omnivores genuinely that strong?

The mere thought that I might have to give up meat until my meds have been adjusted and stop interfering with my digestion is enough to give me that urge on a low level. All going well, it'll hopefully only be for a week or two, maybe a month at most for which I'll have to change my diet. Cutting out meat for good will take the fun out of eating, make it a chore and me miserable (and I've already got an unhealthy relationship with food to begin with). I have no intention of sacrificing my physical health for my mental health; it isn't going to work in the long term.

If you're doing it because you're too poor to afford meat, I totally understand that. That's a fair reason, IMO. Just don't give me that "it's a moral choice I made" BS, either. You can't tell me that you're honestly so naïve as to think animals aren't being killed (by pesticides and other means) to protect the plants that are getting killed so you can eat them, that their habitats aren't being cleared for crop farms. Besides, who are you to decide that plant life isn't as precious or sacred as animal life? Who are you to make that decision? How do you know for certain that plants don't feel pain, just because they don't react as immediately or obviously as animals? I certainly don't know for definite whether or not they do.

Ditto doing it for religious reasons. Maybe your religion claims cows (or some other/all animals) are sacred. Well, bully for you. Some other religions (notably Abrahamic ones) state something to the effect that "mankind has dominion over all the animals and may eat of the clean kinds" (whatever that means; something to do with pigs, as far as I can make out). Whom are you to say that the made-up nonsense you believe is right, but the made-up nonsense someone else believes isn't?

Disgustipated

Now, don't get me wrong here: I'm not advocating for all-out/mass hunting or the meat industries, just pointing out the flaws in reasoning, the willful blindness inherent in some of the justifications given for going the vegetarian/vegan route, just because I can, for shits and giggles.

I choose to eat meat, because I need protein in my diet, particularly before going to work on weekends, which is physically demanding. (According to my pedometer app, I run/walk about 3-5 km in the course of 3-4 hours, just by moving about.) I'm well aware of the consequences of that choice: Animals die so I can eat. This is necessary. Life feeds on life. If that's a sin or morally repugnant (and who gets to decide that?), so be it; it's a stain upon my soul that I'm willing to bear in order to live a healthy lifestyle with a nutritious diet.

The cries of the carrots!

Now, all that aside, I'm prepared to cater to your food preferences and serve you vegetables only if you're prepared to cater to my preferences and serve me meat. Fair's fair if we're being accommodating, right? (Just in case you haven't figured it out by now, I am totally taking the piss out of you here ...)


Thumbnail image: Vegan meat zombie in a restaurant (generated by AI)

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Great White Snark
Great White Snark

I'm currently seeking fixed employment as a S/W & Web developer (C# & ASP .NET MVC, PHP 8+, Python 3), hoping to stash the farmed fiat and go full Crypto, quit the 07:30-18:00 grind. Unsigned music producer; snarky; white; balding; smashes Patriarchy.


The Snark Returns: Random Musings from The GWS
The Snark Returns: Random Musings from The GWS

SW/Web developer: ~12 years of C# (yay!) & ASP .Net MVC, Java (blargh!), Python (woot!) experience. I'm currently hitting faucets and writing for crypto to stake/invest . | I work part-time with animals. Sadly, my cerebellum and medulla oblongata aren't Einsteinian in proportion. However, I possess a Brobdingnagian vocabulary and get by with being a barbigerous logophile. I can probably write you into bed, if smashing Capitalism and Patriarchy turns you on. Kink is political!

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