Sirwin
Sirwin

The funniest crypto week of Oct 16


Cryptonauts, we love you!! And y'all know we love the everlasting gobsmacker that tis the Publish0x!!  Dear readers know we love our punk rock love songs here's a classic

But dear readers know most of all, we like the old yuk yuk yuks, the laughs, the FUNNIES!!  What is best in life?  To laugh like a hyena when we hear the lamentations of our enemies... 

Let's face it, these jokes write themselves, it's just up to us to spot them and giggle!!  Ben Bernanke, who helped engineer the current world wide inflationary hell (and who wrote papers trying to cancel the Taylor rule which TOLD us this hell was coming) got a Nobel prize this week, that's a funny that will LAST.  OK, tho, that's not funny to many suffering.  But THIS IS!!!43555af5480fcbbaafa93685d5f07b73127a419bf3d56741cfe0965be8ed1346.pngTLDR:  that's right !! #(*&#$(*&!! Bernanke, he wrecked the world!!  Give the Nobel in Econ to Satoshi!!  Or at least Taylor of the Taylor rule. An idea whose time has come!!  ArrrroooOOOOO!!! love, love love it.  They say it can't happen cause the winner can't be dead.  Satoshi will NEVER die, so that's OK!  Or if fussy, Satoshi IS still alive.   But the Nobel winner can't be anonymous!!  Oh yeah?  Show us where it says he can't be SEMI anonymous, LMFAO.... 

CNN's news NFT system did a RUG PULL!!  fb631ad6f1b144eadaa677ad15474ab2b3b12c72548c5a689f94ea3b2e43ab19.png Did you buy an NFT news memento from CNN, looking forward to all the upcoming benefits as well as price action?  Well, sorry, no, not gonna happen.  But have a 20% refund!!! It's really funny, CNN said it was always a six week experiment - except they were dropping teasers for November coming content ah ha ha!!  Bonus funny- the refund may come in some bizarre CNN chitcoin where you can only withdraw 10 bucks at a time - and it costs 4 bucks in gas!! Wow!! We hear that you will also be forced to do this only while watching CNN at the airport!! 

It's funny.  First Coincenter sues the SEC over are chitcoins securities??  Next, The Treasury strikes (and fails to kill) Tcash.  Now, people are suing Treasury for killing free speech !! 

Wait, is suing the gummint a THING now?  Grayscale thinks so!! 21e80016d2c5caed31b6b24657c8b5628afe786e8d46005675db55f77b8f1237.png TLDR:  Grayscale's mad as hell & ain't gonna take it no more.  Good news for lawyers anyway, that's not that funny.  Anyway, dear readers already know YES, it IS a thing: 

791e9fea69e9e601cae3aba1058f3a38f7bf8290c0a49c04b3b5ff82af779df6.pngTLDR: on the other hand, the SEC is going after boring apes, and we believe the SEC is correct.  On the (economist classic) OTHER other hand, looks like Custodia wants to sue cuz BNY Mellon got the green light first with favoritism.  Well, yeah, they ARE the oldest bank in Merica, they SHOULD have some connections. 

It's funny, Paris just gave Crypto.com the green light to GO!!! Along with Binance etc etc.   And Crypto.com commits $150MM in investments for Paris  It's really funny watching the CIty in London waste away (literally) in jealousy!!!  Even funnier once you find out an official Tory goal  (hidden by the FT) was to bring cryptopolis to the Old Smoke CIty... and on top of THAT fail, let us remember, just for laughs, the elite of London move forward - they just ban the little people!!  0304bc79af0f2c2a0d24a5c978193a77b155c9b3f409577e367b55f7b4960008.pngTLDR: dear readers remember Lord Hammond   (lord, are we  happy we don't have to call ANYONE lord)  with a big smirk on his face, ditched the House of Lords to join crypto Copper.  Right at the same time Copper ditched operations in London (thanks again FCA) and they banned LITTLE people from having crypto... that's a laugher, Lord!! Copper's new valuation is still north of TWO BILLION, laugh at that!! 

In Sing, MAS and the grim reapers promised to be more hardassed then ever.  But are they tho?? 0b65700ad22e98346ddbe292f5ef2e5505563bc94a70db4330acc2b2776a736b.png The next week they gave up another license, this time to Coinbase.  Which makes them a lot less hardassed & a lot smarter than the FCA in the UK. 

The small funnies are easy to spot.  In this October of the  year of our lord 2022, finally the FT and Morningstar FINALLY started admitting that crypto trades over the weekend, and hence has prices to print come a Monday.  Sad, frustrating, but if ya zoom out - FUNNY.  

The Zuck charged into Meta to make TRILLIONS!  Instead he lost 600 billion in market cap, lost 28 billion in cash operating, with 24 billion more in cash commitments,  promised.  All for  pre-loss "earnings" of 450mm per year, aka 2% of the actual virtual reality earnings!   And all Zuck got was an avatar that was so cringe that it went viral, in an inside joke that Meta was so out of touch that they thought it was OK!!! AH HA HA HA HA!! af9926063e1c5e729a0b9c57c98c5ad3a63ac4c5d13f4f504a1b8992b4bee70b.png In followup funnies, Meta hired smart guy Stephane, who steered Meta to go open standard crypto to regain their credibility.  Instead Zuck went closed standards. Now it's buggy, boring, lonely Meta-verse versus the world.  We always bet on the world in those situations!  

Jeffery Epstein got a slap on the wrist the first time he was convicted.  But to the day he died (maybe) he never lost HIS Chase black card!!! f2c97b4955b3b8c736aa52c20393e1ceadfb6b9ab67711c2e03faab298ad5de7.pngYe, who dared to say WLM,  wishes he could say the same.  That's funny censorship!!

The staid, boring Gilts market did a great imitation of a chitcoin on a rugpull.  Fiat funnies blow through tens of billions of the future wealth. Not just of crazed degen chitcoin investors, mind you, but out of the future wealth of all Brits!  And the current pockets of pension funds. 

But we know dear readers want the BIG funnies!! Well, there's big funny hacks this week in the wild wild west, just growing pains for Crypto.  Rabby wallet had a hole in it, hackers swiped over 200K and then tumbled it in Tornado cash.  Wait, we thought Tornado Cash was all shut down!!! Lol. 662b7a20c994c3f808eaad9499fcbe910a74358f3b9a0df881e5190f3073e68a.png

Funnier still, QANX Bridge was hacked for over a million dollars.  Why? Why because they used a VANITY WALLET address, ah hah hah hah !!  No, it wasn't Profanity that dear readers know clipped Wintermute.  But it WAS a spinoff project from the sadly named Profanity.  Now, we are not state of the art devs anymore.  The QANX project is out to have a chain impervious to Quantum computing.  Maybe those hot rod brains should A) not use vanity addresses or at least B) Check the origin of YOUR vanity wallet address after Wintermute took the shot, it's hard not to laugh!!  The attacker stole the QANX, traded it for BNB and ETH, and yes, you guessed it, tumbled it through Tornado cash that the OfAC shut down (not) in such a manly fashion(not.)  For extra comic relief, the hacker is stuck with QANX once worth 600K, but now there is zero liquidity on Uni and Pancake.  So, Uni & Pancake are now the law west of the Pecos, lol. 

Mango. Pure crypto comedy gold!!   A hacker found a flaw in Mango, manipulated his collateral up, took out huge loans & ran!! The numbers differ in the fog of war, but let's say he stole 120MM.  Then the real humor begins!!  First, ya need a good fence.  Who the (#$*&#@(*!! can liquidate eight figures of Mango?  Well, Binance, Coinbase, maybe Kraken, but they all shut out the hacker's wallet.  #$(#$!!  Is there a Mango tumbler?  Of course not!!  OK, so take all that Mango collateral and vote yes to your own proposal that the hacker keeps it all as a bounty!!  f2665b98e9d7d93f28fd72c89b676080b375a4a334077c6ef82c37ff0f83d46f.png The Mango funnies keep stacking up.  The hacker was downvoted, lol!!  Next: 

People figure out that a guy named Eisenberg had done VERY SIMILAR hacks before.    OK the walls are closing in, Eisenberg outs himself!!!  WTF?  Yes you heard right, he claims everything he did was legal!!!  AND they all agree he can keep the odd 47, 000,000 USD in Mango!! 

OK, we are NOT gonna be able to top the Mango sitcom for yuks.  There IS SO much positive crypto news, tho,  it's hilarious, we miss a LOT hanging on the FT!  So much it's a big smile!! Google is gonna use Coinbase for crypto payments!  Merica's oldest bank, B of NY Mellon is LIVE with crypto TO GO!!!   

Hey, Sammy's admitting  in public he is a fun-sized JP Morgan!!0d1c0d56189da9513a74b6f747d14f2dc2fb777bc57ea06e5c4235f66dcde6cb.pngLol, could be a sign of a market top for FTX tho!??!! 

But still by ANY standard this one is funny - Uniswap just raised a series B that values the company of Hayden Adams, the self taught coder, at 1.65 BILLION. Imagine Uni's valuation if only THEY had Lord Hammond Copper on THEIR board!!  542b3f07cb70ec3cf9210bbad11bd8758eae06c38e28dcef2c1ebc1e5eaa4c75.pngAdams views the rise and rise of Uni as the triumph of DeFi over CEXs.  And ya know, it's kinda hard to argue with him right now ar ar ar ar !! 

OK people, peace out, you know we love you!!   Stay happy, take care, keep building !  Or at least live to fight again, tomorrow's another day. 

Love

Dave

ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

Please, someone, anyone, send that link to someone and ask them to use it and follow us.  We gotta raise our followers, we love doing this with y'all so much, please help!!  Thanks to each and every one of y'all that follows/tips/reads, y'all have no idea how much it means to us!! 

No lyrics tonight cuz you CAN hear them!!  But still no one is totally sure what that song means.  Feels, yes.  Means, no.  When Green Day plays, all we hear is the Buzzcocks. 

Love, 

Dave

OK just a little for those who won't listen (often us)

Now it is so real
I can see it
And it is so real
I can feel it
And it is so real
I can hear it
And it is so real
I can be it
So why can't I touch it?
So why can't I touch it?

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Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!


FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!
FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!

The WSJ turned into USA today - which leaves the FT at the top of the heap for serious financial news! Join us for a semi-serious monitoring of the FUD & hate the FT now showers on crypto. Dear readers know we love that pink newspaper but boy howdy does the FT despise crypto--- it's funny. The old guard always fights the new guard. The FT does it eruditely, with misleading comments, fun graphs, and outright lies (usually) attributed to crypto's greatest enemies!

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