The financial times keeps on beating on crypto! Even in the cartoons and the social insight nonsense!!! PEOPLE ALWAYS GET LAID OFF !!!


 



Crypto brethren, our appreciation - no, infatuation - nay, ADORATION of y'all ( and your extended family and pets) knows no bounds.   We LUFF you.  Stay strong and safe in these crazy times, no one said the fiat wars would be easy.  And keep on keeping on with the mighty mighty Publish0x, many heartfelt thanks to our fave platform and community. 

Exclusive to the 0x, let's review the latest funnies from the financial establishment.   In today's ( June 16th) paper, we have a nearly full page spread trumpeting crypto exchanges’ layoffs.  What's the story:  Coinbase lays off 20%, the FT re-repeats itself about total market cap diving from 3.2 tn to one trillion.  Volume is way down, cutting commish. Gemini & crypto.com are gonna lay off 5%, Mercado Bitcoin in Brazil will do 12%.  Finally, the FT comes late to the party with the story about Coinbase rescinding accepted offers. e0c7add24e1ec6fff87b4cb3de58638ed8d8e8ec3ecdd1228ead3577944e42e4.jpg

What's the REAL story?   Well, for starters, cry me a river boys, we thought y'all were solid wolfs of Wall Street.  The copy is very light on current senior exec quotes. Instead the lead quote is a bitter EX Bitstamp CEO who did not even last two years in the most boring crypto exchange in the world.  After, a generic seven words from a Winklevoss press release (as if we care what the Wrinkletwat twins have to say even in a full interview.) Next up is the Brazilian exchange  dude, who isn't even in the C-suite - and we bet he NEVER WILL BE if he keeps running his mouth to the press.   THINK MAYBE HE'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE IMPENDING BUYOUT OF MERCADO BY COINBASE?  Yeah, he's fixing to lose HIS cushy gig.  Specially now he's airing his dirty laundry in public.  Maybe it was HIS JOB to grow in an organized way??? For SURE it's SOMEONE's job to be the hatchetman, trim the fat(heads,) & fulfill a board level promise to clean the Mercado up & put lipstick on the pig prior to the merge. Perhaps the all-knowing FT could mention the buyout as a possible reason for the cuts??!!??!

Then we have a pity party for some anonymous "john" who was gonna move all the way from "mainland Europe" to London for Coinbase.  What's that, like a half hour flight?  OK, withdrawing accepted offers is pretty low, but we've seen it done in the industry  pretty damn often, including the variation where the entire division is let go right after the last 25 people were hired.   And ya know what?  Use your real name or STFU unnamed source- this is money, real money.  Wall Street trueisms #55 through #61 - No crying in hardball (or ski trips.) Muscle up, buttercup, up or out is tradition, actually up AND out. See our wiggling fingers?  That's the world's smallest violin playing "my heart bleeds for you. "

We were raised up in the industry to believe that 5% of the people should be fired EVERY DAMN YEAR--- more in bad years.  Remember the high school football coach who made the last few guys running laps run MORE laps?  We will always remember him cause he would hit us in the head with his clipboard, sometimes breaking it in half - and sometimes forgetting when we were NOT wearing helmets and hitting us anyway.  Which might explain some dead spots in our brain, but not this one - we mostly remember running like h-ll to make sure WE were not the tail end Charlie running still MORE laps.  Wall Street chestnut #45 - "If ya can't survive a 5% cut, yer not even trying."   Then we have a massively insignificant quote from  the hugely important head of PR (spare us) at Blind, some Glassdoor clone, making a living from anonymous employees bitching. Followed by another anonymous bitter former (read-fired) Gemini exec ( yeah, what level? again with the unnamed sources.)  Hey, chestnut #99 - "If you want blind, unwavering  loyalty, buy a dog." But get the hell out of the financial industry if that's what yer looking for. 

Zoom out to the hypocrisy - buried at the usually unread tail end of the story, we have FTX stating that they are "strongly profitable.We have Binance stating they are continuing to hire at the same pace as ever - oh, who are they, only the BIG NUMBER ONE.  Next to last paragraph ( before closing tears for that coward "John")  - Lennex, the managing director at OKex ( sic, it's OKX now we note, you morons at FT, get it straight, OKX rebranded SOME TIME AGO, maybe get the name right when you quote someone) IS GONNA CONTINUE TO HIRE about 900 people to add to the current ~3,000 employees THIS YEAR. !!!???  Maybe take a real City view, like Lex strives for!!? There are about 600 crypto exchanges in the world right now according to Forbes, it's pretty obvious they ain't all gonna make it.   Think perhaps Coinbase squandered a overwhelming first mover advantage in the exchange race with their chitty interface and poor management ???  And, you faceless whiners, if y'all are such hot chit, get your ass over to OKX or Binance  or FTX and snag a job with a real company - if they haven't figured out your whiney, industry smearing identity yet and shun you like a leper... 

The only other crypto coverage- buried in the lowest form of journalism, the horrid "human interest" story - just a whimpering mess of complaints - "freedom is bad" "my friend wishes she could just stay home ALL the time" "oh, the choice of all the stuff to watch is JUST TOO MUCH for poor little me" etc etc suddenly we have a shot fired at BTC - 20be535e44dd669785d0eddd263c7db653ed9fa94d01675d9c460a5b651bcca3.jpg

We quote " The lack of scarcity...(is) one of the core issues of cryptocurrencies. "  Eff YOU, once again, Jemima.  Last time we checked, BTC is and will remain scarce, locked at 21MM less the lost coins, pretty dang sure even with the price drop y'all won't be handing them out as bonuses.  Hell, throw all the stablecoins ( which are perfectly scarce as money ) on top of BTC and  we reach a market dominance of OVER 50%, which means MOST of all the crypto in the WORLD is PERFECTLY scarce.... 

This is funny when ya think about it -  as it is a trend seen all too often in Euro class warfare agitprop. We will be reading the sports section, trying to have a little mindless escapism, inspirational team spirit & suchlike,  when suddenly and without warning the journalist will BREAK INTO A POLITICAL ATTACK on some dude we don't even know, unrelated to any sport.  Pattern detection?  Check the cartoon - same same... 

As for that cartoon - dear readers will recall what passes for humor in financial publications is lame, lame lame lame.  But in true FT fashion, they work in a backstab at their enemies.  Maybe someone can explain it better to us little folk- oh, the wisdom of the housewives, the pitiful everyman inevitably spanked down for trying to rise above his station - the futility of trying to do anything to break out of his tedious class - that is all we see.  Hey, if his BTC ARE under the mattress, that means he wasn't leveraged, and will live to fight again another day, yeah? 

Peace, love, and long term views 

Dave

 

 

 

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Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!


FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!
FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!

The WSJ turned into USA today - which leaves the FT at the top of the heap for serious financial news! Join us for a semi-serious monitoring of the FUD & hate the FT now showers on crypto. Dear readers know we love that pink newspaper but boy howdy does the FT despise crypto--- it's funny. The old guard always fights the new guard. The FT does it eruditely, with misleading comments, fun graphs, and outright lies (usually) attributed to crypto's greatest enemies!

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