Crypto folk we love you. Love to see y'all here on the intercontinental Publish0x when the algo permits, baby!!
Crypto in the FT today - in the print version, nada. Just more handwringing over Kwasi's powersliding. Hey we got white line fever right now, ya gotta admit Motorhead is driving music: We figure Kwasi has at LEAST a one in ten chance his chit will work out. Come seven, come eleven baby.
Crypto that dare not say crypto: the Lebanese currency, the pound or lira (wtf??) bites the big radish. Gives it all up, repegs to the USD. Lord knows we love https://fiatmarketcap.com/. The Lebanese whatever, the LBP, was hanging not very tough but quite respectably at #42 on the world fiat list, ahead of the Argentinian peso but behind Pakistan's rupee, right around 6.5 million BTC, say under a third of all the BTC in the world. That's an interesting data point. Can we safely say BTC is laughingly more likely to survive than what, ANY fiat currency not in the top 100? 50????
Tradfi corruption watch - this one is funny - Toilet & Douche, erm Deloitte and Touche, gets busted and fined eight figures in China. Why? they just told their clients to go audit themselves, pick their own "random" samples. THAT's not how sampling works, and sooooooo lazy. At least pretend to try.
Bank of Ireland owes 100,000,000 in fines. First they issued tracker mortgages, then the rates fell to zero, then B of I said hey, f-ck y'all, and tore up the trackers. That's a pretty good fine by crypto standards, in fact it matches the biggest ever paid by Blockfi, 50MM to the states, 50MM to the SEC. Which one was bigger news??
Ya can't have too many Wile E Coyote memes
TLDR: Robin, econ at the IIF, called the euro's fall this year, a big contrarian win. Now, EVEN now, Robin thinks the Euro, the pound, the Renminbi and many others are going to fall a further 10 - 20% or more. LOOK OUT BELOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!! Cue tin slide whistle going down.
Online, tho, we are the TARGET MARKET!! and it's Friday, so we get the cryptofinance newsletter, for what that's worth. 
TLDR: rehash rehash rehash, followed by a NASTY quote from Chrissie LaGuarde. A word salad, crypto is stormy libertarian cultural hype, Satoshi is totally anonymous, now accepted by Pay Pal etc, abused by Terra or Luna but certainly D'Oh who is on the run.
Plus rehash Mikey Luna.
The REAL story; no new news, but what a strange yucky quote from Chris, conflating Satoshi with D'Oh. TBF, it is not clear EITHER of them broke any existing laws. Apart from that, Chris, ya got it about right. But say it correctly: when crypto started, it could be dismissed as political hype. Now it IS accepted by Visa and Mastercard, lol!! Yes, Nakamoto IS perfectly anonymous, which DOES make him very freaking wise indeed. Any questions, Chris?? sounds like ya basically got it.
Next item: rehash of multiple crypto execs stepping down. We DON'T care, dear readers know exec churn is good, especially necessary in pioneering markets. Plus Mikey and Jesse didn't REALLY step down. Plus Alex, now a director, will just continue HIS role of helping the evil monkey lawyers continue to bleed Celsius clients slowly dry.
Chipolte is offering 99.95 off a steak taco if ya pay in ETH. The REAL story: why are we reading this? can we have the last ten seconds of our life back now please?? on the upside, this may be the first time this col actually said 99.95, which is funny.
Robinhood is hooking up with Circle. The REAL story: Robinhood's new wallet based on web3 Matic is pretty cool in some ways, in others weird and clunky as it can't handle many standard coins. Also, who really cares about stablecoins and wallets? They are like background music.
Dear readers know we love Cynthia from Wyoming. On a Hard Money podcast, Cynthia said she loves that BTC can't be stopped, cause she's worried about national debt and inflation - it's actually comforting to know that bitcoin is there. Yes, Cynthia, you get it!!
The FT then delivers as hard of a snot-o-gram as they can - helpfully, comfortingly pointing out BTC is down >50% this year. The REAL story: dude why do you write about crypto if you hate it that much?? FU. We remind you of Mikey Sailor's tweet. Here, find the GBP in this picture: 
and just wait till the GBP drops ANOTHER 10 or 20%.
Man, our spidey senses are foul now. Here's the last entry, we'll give 3 to 1 odds we end with a dig at crypto. BINGO!!
Entitled "Data mining" it should be data misleading. 
TLDR:This story starts out all crypto claims to bank the unbanked - but does it? Here's a graph with eight lines on it. One is flat, five go up, two go down. Pop quiz: what does the FT talk about? Yes, you got it, the one that went down and the one that stayed flat. The REAL story: OK, we are seeing red again. It took real work to find a crypto adoption graph that looks so negative, congrats, you @#!(!! WTF. Who give a hoot? China is big #1 in East Asia and crypto is ILLEGAL there!!! It's amazing there is still SO MUCH crypto there!!
Getting madder. Here's real data from Chainalysis to give VALUABLE INSIGHT!! Bonus FU's for the misframing exercise.
If we are going to print Chainalysis graphs from Q1 about crypto adoption, here's the real one. Real title: Global Adoption of Cryptocurrencies. 
Why, lookit that. Same great data source. Same wonderful time period. But THIS graph tells the REAL story. In numbers terms, what, 2019Q2 we have about 0.05 index score. Now, post the "crash" we have 0.5 global adoption index. So what's that, a 10x improvement ? a 1,000% boost up in Tradfi terms?
So, crypto is banking the unbanked then. Adoption is radically up. And FU's given to the FT team are dramatically up. FU, FU FU for this pile of crypto hate, misleading twaddle and badly framed graphs that have nothing to to with the statement or the real situation.
Wait, Judges agree we can add one more FU to the stack for this nonsense. We just read the headline of the Chainalysis report the FT manages to totally mis-frame: 
There we have it. China still has a lotta crypto, and fundamentals are happy.
Wooo, we gotta go look for crypto funnies outside the FT to restore our happy illusion of freedom driving mood.
And maybe play Bitchin Camaro to get the FT FUD outta our hair.
Peace,
Love
Dave
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