Cryptofans, we love you!  Live long, be fruitful and prosper!! Bless y'all for daring to dream of a world without fiat overlords!  Thanks for gathering here on the metaphysical Publish0x, we are happy for every click on every day to bust open that crypto positive Overton window!! 

Sharp-eyed dear readers will know we were fooled by the FT updating their site with the Friday paper early-ish Thursday night.  We should have known better, but it's ok, still the same same ol.   Here's a pic we also spaced out on putting in yesterday: we stand by crying about how sad it all really was.  Sugarfix was right, the BIS IS running everything!!!  Tough to watch the illusion of freedom for the PM crumple under the iron fist of gilt debt, banks, and investors. 

We have a correction, there WAS crypto in salmon colored print this week!  The D-oh Kwon online story made it, of course. GOTTA print that neggy crypto news.   See previous statement, the ETH character assassination by the law prof also makes dead trees.  We are even madder this time around.  Hey, they printed her pic this time though!  TLDR: another correction, we thought the author was at least a real lawyer!  No, worse yet, she's an ivory tower law prof.  Which probably helps her sleep better, after putting her name on this steaming pile of 100% bias.  Are there legal cutting edge questions from the amazing advent of smart contracts?  Hell yes there are!!  Hipsters say "code is law!!"  T-cash banned or not?? What IS free speech?? 

Well, we'll never know ANYTHING about THAT  from this 100% FT "death to crypto" narrative.  Not only can she not say ONE POSITIVE THING about ETH, she can't even say anything interesting about the huge disruption process going on in the legal financial world.  Let's just balance a couple more FU's up on the Jenga tower of FU's for this twaddle.  If real working, billing junior lawyers HAD written this for her instead of grad students, it would have been a TAD better!!  Only academia could think that all was current and relevant, let alone insightful let ALONE FAIR!!!!! 

OK, it's Friday for real this time, so online we get the pompously named Cryptofinance newsletter.  We are gun-shy from the 100% neggy one last time, so let's hope for happiness thru lowered expectations!! 

TLDR:   The photo is not credited, but looks like the FT graphics department takes an early lead in anti-crypto agitprop competition for the pub meat prize!!   Look at that evil blood red chemical Celsius backdrop! 

The hate in the lead story fulfills all this red horror.   The FT is shocked, SHOCKED that JP Morgan hired Aaron, an ex Celsius exec!

Hit the anti-crypto FT playbook.  Step ONE:  misframe the question!!  The revolving door in Washington between gummint and private sector is a fact, but THIS one leaves us BREATHLESS!!  Clutch your pearls, darling. 

Rehash well deserved Celsius hate.  Ack shu ally Aaron is the lobbyist lead, not even a C-suite, had nothing to do with ops and knew nothing.  But What a look for JP Morgan!! Crypto is still an upstart (sic.) with very limited adoption. JP Morgan is finserv royalty (sic.)  

The #($*&$#(* unnamed source (swamp rat)  says Aaron is damaged goods. 

But what are you REALLY feeling here, FT.  This is a safe space, you can tell us!! Lol. Jamie Diamond was the last quotable bulwark of semi-credible big league exec crypto hate!! Rehash Jamie hate - unbelievable that BTC is good for anyone, ransomware, sex trafficking, money laundering, stealing.  Link to more Jamie hate for crypto!! 

Well, face it, FT.  Blackrock Larry has embraced crypto, now JP Morgan!!

The FT is still butthurt over Larry Fink, once their most dependable anti crypto quote provider.  Losing  Jamie hurts even more NOW!! Snif snif, sob sob, Jamie is just another man who says various BS while their company does something else entirely!!   Here the FT lurches into a bromance heartbreak - Jamie is Walt Whitman!  ROFL!! Do I contradict myself?  I contain multitudes (ah hah hah ha ha !! Spare us please!!)  Jamie stands only with clients, whinge moan.  Skip the bareback mountain!!! 

The REAL story!!! Get back to the misframing!!  Aaron has never once in his #$($#&( life worked for the gummint!!!  WHAT a lie, we wanna correction!!  look on linked in, WHERE is the JOURNALISM!!??!!  Buried in hate, that's where.   The only revolving door is between crypto hate and crypto lies here. 

FT ya wanna example of the corruption of the revolving door between gummint and industry?  THAT would be your own Lord Hammond, who QUIT the House of Lords to go be a lobbyist / owner for Copper crypto!! Even as Copper fled the UK whilst  setting up so that the little people could never be clients. It's REALLY existentially funny!  On the same week the FT admits they never once told anyone that Liz et al wanted crypto!!   A REAL breathtaking revolving door  goes completely unrecorded by the FT, as Copper formally gives up on the poisoned well of the FCA and takes their money and jobs to the Swiss!!! Are ye happy then FT?? 

FT we know y'all are blinded by the level of corruption in the UK, but open your $#(@#$#@ eyes here.   An lobbyist exec works for a company that goes down. Another company hires that exec!  Aaron was always and only ever in the private sector!!!  WHAT the #$(#*$@&#???  OK, just an ARTFUL smear, conflating a real problem ( Lord Hammond style ) with Aaron, who has nothing to do with revolving doors!! !  Conflate Lord Hammond with Celsius instead why doncha!!!

sorry, much more to unpack.  Crypto is an UPSTART?  FU, FT.  Crypto is a trillion dollar industry.  Let's compare!! All the gilts in the world are only two trillion.  There are less than ten companies in the world that are worth a trillion.   There are only a DOZEN trillion dollar industries in the WORLD, and to count that high you have to include evil ones.  Crypto is worth more than the fiat of all but a handful of nations.   To use eighties NYC fixed income terms, just put your head in our lap if you think THAT's a  very limited adoption upstart.  While yer there, NOBODY is financial services royalty.  Jamie is one more attention wh-re running a cult of personality till he crashes and is thrown on the trash heap of LAST  year's style of managerial leadership/hero worship.   remember "chainsaw Al? " Jack Welch?  ya, nobody does.

Well, that started badly, next item?  Predictably, more rehashed warmed over anti-crypto crap.  The EU is gonna ban PoW!!  Misinterpreting "going the extra mile," the FT trumpets a vague EU statement as a shot across the bow!!  The despicable Alex makes another unwelcome appearance as a biased "expert."  Alex makes a living ONLY by calculating BTC hash rate * power, then bitching.  Dear readers know Alex's meh blog  ( link below) has been printing Doomsday for Bitcoin since at least 2016 ( doomsday for your wealth, Alex.)  No one noticed till he went one trick pony on ESG.  Hey, didn't about 30% of your cheezy schtick  just disappear?  ESG = ESG minus all the ETH consumption, lol.  Another boring story we should have known was coming, but it still STINKS.   Hey, just ban it all, go for it there, pinheads.  No one cares. 

OK, horrible lead story, horrible second pile of bias.   Maybe hurting from their last string of 100% negative news, here the FT sneaks in two positive crypto stories.  One is the BNY Mellon, oldest bank in the States, is open for crypto custody biz, with a "much broader journey" ahead.  It's the SHORTEST STORY BY FAR in the whole col today, just sayin. 

The SECOND shortest story is another positive crypto article.  What an amazing coincidence (NOT) of bias!!  Good very short story: Mastercard, with the mighty Paxos,  is launching Crypto Source to provide crypto trading service to ANY bank's clients.  Bradley Duke of ETC says BNY Mellon and Mastercard's moves are a big vote of confidence in crypto. 

OK, we pause for a moment.  Not in the FT, Bradley Duke is a great man: Duke's ETC provides institutional grade digital asset BACKED funds.  Good on him.  Howcum we always hear from Alex and never from Brad?? 

Ahh, we feel DIRTY.  Plowing on: this next one is another n dimensional chit show.  Let's unpack!! TLDR:  it was SHAMEFUL,  the #$(#!$&!#$ FT, even the FT writers dedicated to crypto, NEVER ONCE mentioned that LIz Truss wanted prosperity thru crypto for the UK.    We can't say that anymore, here they mentioned it once!  Jerks 3x!!    Long after Truss and  her views are dead AND BURIED, the FT admits for the record that they existed.    In a chitty demeaning matter of course, with juvenile insults for LIz like this one:  TLDR:  Hey, that's the way WE play the game, not the worlds greatest financial newsletter.  For SHAME, FT.  Imagine if, who knows, ANYONE was allowed to know that the top leaders WANTED crypto to succeed in the UK.  Liz said it OVER FOUR YEARS ago you absolute b-stards.  Low, low, low.  Think what could have been??? $#(@*#$&#@(*$&!!!!   

Zoom out for the hypocrisy just one more time.  It's META!!! More than four years ago, Liz threw down as crypto positive.  Then, she went on to become PM!!  AND she had other players campaign for crypto FOR HER!!  Yet, in all these years, TODAY is the first day the FT saw fit to MENTION IT!!??!!   From every d-mn soul that wrote about crypto for YEARS, mention it only once, after  it's OVER!!!??!!?? 

That's just hostile.  It's so bad, words fail -  actually it's FUNNY!!!  The FT are like the gangster brit cliches, the old ones that when ya catch em, they rip open their cell phones and crunch up the SIM card.  Even though it technically ceased to matter years ago, the phone records & taps don't care about the SIM card!!! AH hah ha ha ha!!   NASTY!! BAD to the BONE!!! Reminds us of tonight's reading music.  This is the hit, that, when we got a portable Sony record player (yes really) from Crazy Eddie's  (at cost plus 5 bucks, once you cracked their inventory code) and you were on the subway listening to ALBUMS, THIS is the song we chose: TLDL: you better believe it, cuz that's the truth of it!!  Release that homicide all over London!!! 

And then the pure bad intent of only mentioning it today.  Imagine, not just hating crypto, not JUST working against it, but having to be so spiteful and celebratory of your immortal,  immoral crimes against journalism as to RUB IT IN.  Make SURE we ALL KNOW you helped hamstring Liz and your own city and country against the elected choices.  THIS WEEK, of all weeks. 

OK, the last item.  Three guesses, will it be totally crypto negative like EVERY last item in the newsletter EVERY #($&#$@(& TIME!!??? 

Of COURSE it will, bet your bottom sterling quick before it's worthless!!  

Not JUST negative, MANUFACTURED negative, and scraping the bottom of the barrel once again to FIND something neggy! 

First yet another snide dig - some want decentralized crypto, but trusted central exchanges exist!! Not for long, implies the FT. Since 2019, 68 crypto exchanges have been shut down!!  Here's some chart porn created by the FT to spread the FUD!! The REAL story:  #$(#&$ get this WEAK chit OUTTA HERE!!  Let's unpack.  First of all, the Gecko sez there are 531 CEX's right now.  So, in a volatile startup industry, in almost five years, what like ten percent went down?  So, 2% PER YEAR?? who GIVES a RAT'S FURRY ARSE!!??!!   Not us!!  Dear readers sing it!! Creative destruction is the schiznit!! 

There's a reason that ONLY the FT MADE this stupid, senseless chart.  Looks all impressive until you notice - what only eight shut down in the UK?  who cares?  Only ONE exchange shut down in all of Oz in four years???   Only not even ONE per year closed  in the biggest market in the world, Merica?  AH hah ha ha ha hah!! How do you monkees SLEEP at night?

Also, why the eff did y'all print the one that closed in Oz and skip the OTHER  countries where only one closed??  We will tell you why, another lazy misleading FT anti-crypto graph crop job, specialty of the HOUSE!! Oz made the list only cause it was sorted alphabetically, look at it, lazy beggars just cropped the next twenty lines cuz it didn't look scary enough.   

OK, skip that, zoom out.  How many totally trustless DeFI DExs exist now?  Can we haz THAT graph plz?? Of COURSE not.   There are over 300 in the Gecko right now!!  You jerks.  Uni is about the oldest and it's only three!! So that means 68 CEX's closed down, while 300 DEX's opened up?? Laughable selective vision THERE.  

Summary with the Judges:  Two FU's for item 1, another for item 2.  Two small thank yous for #3 and #4, still back down to one FU. Two FU's at LEAST for the four year FT news blackout on positive PM crypto plans, we want many more but Judges say no.  Finally, we want two more FU's for the exchange non story, judges allow one.  That's four out of five FU's for this Friday's smeary hatchet yellow job. 

Man, we know we should go back and sprinkle love pictures through this tirade, it's even bringing US down.  Instead, lower brain wants to quote the immortal circle jerks "product of my environment"

Overheard drunks
Sitting in bars
Talking 'bout sex
Talking 'bout cars
Talking 'bout football
Women at lunch
They just keep talking
But don't say much

I'm a product of my environment
My vocabularies like licking the gutter
Words that cut so sharp
Cuts like a hot knife through butter

Not my fault
But then again
Schools and teachers were never my friends
Nothing's wrong with a little education
But i don't need a new vocation

I'm a product of my environment
Things that occur
Events take place
That will wipe
The smile right off your face

Can't find a good early live version of Product, so y'all die hards get this instead:

Peace out, 

Love  (we really do love y'all, sorry for the lack of PDAs today, we have a headache ah hah hah ha, no really ) 

Love, 

Dave

Follow me @davidsawyer I will follow you!!  Please refer a friend to our incel ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

A long time ago we had WAY too good of a time at a weekend Circle Jerks concert at a large rock bar in Houston.  For once we knew a whole lot of the folks on the scene, felt like an insider.  The bouncers had never seen slamdancing before, and freaked out.  Oddly, the bouncers started picking on one of the very few black guys in our crowd, tried to grab  him out of the circle/ pit.  The bouncers  were SO unused to the circle dance dynamics that they turned after their target went by and the following crowd could slam right into them as if by accident.   

The guy they picked on, Linkster,  was a nice guy.  LInk was pretty meek, really, much less rough than most by far!  We used to lend LInk a trombone for stage dancing, we trusted him!!  Soooooo,  we felt justified in screwing with the bouncers pretty bad.  Their little bouncer brains couldn't handle it!  The  bouncers lost it, went  howling beserker, and finally got called off by management.  Link was still free and in the club!!  Which left us to include slamming over  chairs,  tables full of mostly empty drinks, pony walls,  etc with great glee!!! What a stupid fun time!!  lol we're a product of our  environment
Our vocabularies stuck in the gutter!!! ROFL!! 

Love, 

Dave