Cryptonauts, we love you.  Money for the people, of the people and by the people!! We love meeting up on the public room pamphleteering that is the omnipresent Publish0x!!!

Changing the fabric of FT crypto coverage, one click and chitpost at a time, Watch army!! Good on ya!! 

Today in the pink lady:

Fiat war machine follies roar on with the FT normalizing pics of military might daily. 

Crypto that dare not say its name - the UK economy will do worse than ANY OTHER G20 economy except Russia!!  How is that POSSIBLE except for STUNNING fiat mismanagement follies!!! But at least the FCA stopped Binance from building a London HQ with loads of jobs and supporting cottage industries... good job, FCA, we hope yer proud!!! 

In related fiat follies hilarity, in Q3 the UK Treasury slid the Bank o England a slick billion dollars in fresh fiat to cover QE losses stacking up from 2009!! These payments will continue to ramp up as rates increase WHAT COULD Go WRONG!!! ar ar ar. 

The drama about the medium sized Ponzi with the fake mining company HashPipeFlare makes dead trees, we stand by laughing. 

 Crypto on the front page again, that's bad!!  Check the subliminals here - large neggy FTX headline top left and center!!  Next to a horrible scary pic!!  Ah ha ha it's the"suppression strategy" all right!!! The FT's suppression strategy for CRYPTO!!!  The entire nation of China is locking down like a bad sci-fi movie!!  The idiots leading the UK have cratered the lives of THEIR ENTIRE NATION worse than ANYONE who's not in a shooting war!!!  Yet, internal fund abuse at a cheezy crypto fund makes the biggest headline. OK we see y'all!! 

TLDR: nothing but rehash in the story, delivered by a new lawyer, we got lawyers reporting to lawyers reporting to lawyers running FTX now!!  One semi-new item:  the lawyers say they will waste the time and money of the FTX depositors "probing" when Binance cashed out their startup equity in FTX two years ago.  Prediction: that's funny biz by  lawyers for lawyers!!  Nothing will come of that but more bills from lawyers.  BTW, a quick pause to laugh at the pretend due diligence of all the flying monkey bankruptcy lawyers that got PAID to say it was a great idea to take the bailout offer from SAMMY!!!! AH HA HA HA HA!!! 

Crypto story that the FT won't let SAY it is a crypto story!!  This is SO FUNNY!! When Abrdn crashed out of the FTSE 100, the FT was there!!! Dear readers know, mainly  to talk about how wrong and badly timed Abrdn was to get into crypto as Abrdn bought into Archax!! 

Two weeks ago, Abrdn raised 30mm round A funding for Archax!! !!!!  Cause Archax is gonna be the first ever FCA licensed UK crypto exchange ar ar ar ar OOOOOOO!!! Has Archax ever made  it into the FT with this story?/. #$(#*$&#$(*@$& no of course not!! 

NOW, Abrdn is about to bust back into the FTSE 100, triumphant, moving with the TIMES!! TLDR: not a single mention of Abrdn getting into crypto, nor the rise of Archax!  That's hilarious.  The FT only mentions crypto when  yer goin DOWN, baby!! #(!&$#(&*$ jerks we SEE you!!! 

Online!!  players only!! let's move!!! nah, wait, let's listen to more Bruno first this is for you cryotonauts hold the line!! Doh!! ahh, that's better ok

The really scary contagion question.  A month ago we thought Barry was solid like a rock.  Now he is assuring us it's aiight!  OMG is he saying "I am not a crook??"  Thus far anyone assuring anybody about the health of a locked CEX has been a dead man walking!! 

TLDR: Barry runs Digital Currency Group,, valued at ten billion LAST year, lol!! DCG owns Grayscale, CoinDesk, miners Foundry and wallet Luno.  DCG is backed by blue chip investors,  Softbank, Singapore and Alphabet. 

Genesis is still running spot and derivs trading, they did 116 billion in volume last year.  Genesis was founded in 2013 and has a thousand institutional clients. 

The problem is Genesis has 131 billion in loans out.  There are shaky loans out between Genesis and DCG.  A  half billion DCG used to buy back stocks due next year.  A BILLION due in 2032 from when DCG bailed out Genesis from the Broken Arrows debacle, plus a rando third of a billion credit line from pals.  DCG says it's just a liquidity and duration mismatch. 

Binance was asked, talked but will NOT bail out Genesis.  B2C2 is looking at buying out some loans, but that's vulture action. 

Worse still, sources say Genesis trading IS Genesis lending, same CRO, same CCE (risk and compliance) execs. Plus as we know, BTC and Grayscale have been dragging arse. 

The REAL story:  oh $#(&$ we've heard this joke before!!  Blue chip investors, ah ha due diligence??  Not bankrupt, just illiquid!!  Maybe Binance will save us, NOPE!!!  Ah ha ha errrr aarrgh ow.  Only hurts when we laugh. 

Not in the FT:  Barry says DCG is on track for 800MM in revs this year, down 20% from last year.  and "collectively we will come out of (crypto winter) stronger. "    Well, yeah, Barry, THAT's true, all together we will survive stronger!!! But the question here is will DCG and Genesis be roadkill or part of that refreshed ecosystem???  Pass the popcorn, though it's hard to eat right now lol!! 

OK, online - it might just be us, groundhogging day, have we NOT already heard Sammy give us his total $#(#*$&#$( sh-T apologies 3x before?  We STILL don't CARE!!! TLDR:  actually we DO care that Sammy keeps apologizing - cause by now, we all know he's just lying again!! AND thinks we are all so stupid we will believe him!!! Again!!! 

"Oh, the dog ate my homework and I didn't NOTICE that I had borrowed eight billion internally and spent a half billion on whatever the #$(*$#$(#* we wanted from petty cash authorized by emojis!!! "   .       AHHHHHH STFU sammy.  Please. Now.   At least blame it on your shack job CEO, that's what Jon Corzine did with his CFO!!!!  ah ha ha ha ha!! Didn't work but it was funny, looked a bit better. Ahh... 

Next:  uh wake up team, big guns Gil incoming!!! Tho we lost a little respect for her last round, bias showing here and there, she used to keep it fair.

TLDR:  we do love laughing at (often our own) mistakes made through the wonders of magical realist thinking!!!!  Ar ar ar !!  Here the FT whips off the gloves pretty quick.  Talking "DeFi!'' Anyone could deal in BTC!! 

Ya ya ya, sez the FT, what about CEXs ? Prof Coray sez 90% of all BTC traded last year was kept in CEX's, THAT's not decentralized!! 

Blah blah blah, FTX was centralized. Sir Jon Cunliffe himself said crypto institutions are largely unregulated and risky. 

Why did we have a blind spot to FTX? Cuz our brains are wired to embrace magical thinking to seem to understand a scary world. Plus it's really really hard to understand anything that changes your worldview. 

Gil laughs looking back - when CDOs, collateralized debt obligations, were invented, bankers claimed they were creating a more liquid market to make the world safer by spreading risks.  CDOs turned out to be so opaque they blew sky high. Magical thinking!! 

Looking back at Zuckerberg, Facebook was connected for FREEDOM! Not just exploitation!!  Ya, right.   Most industries, including media have this creation myth bull #$($U going on.  FTX shows doublethink can be hugely damaging.   Gil throws a bone buried at the end - crypto COULD help real estate!

The REAL story:  Gil, we love ya, but yer stock is going DOWN here.  Points for the old college theme try, sort of, nah, no.  

Let's unpack.  First, Prof Coray is a prof at Parson's school of DESIGN, we really don't care much what he thinks about crypto. Go study a form factor.  Earlier this year he was busy saying DAOs are not decentralized, they are not autonomous, and not organized.  Oh, ha ha ha, chortle chortle, what a clever paraphrase ripoff of Voltaire!!  NOT.  One more clown criticizing, does Koray have a better, more functional idea than the real world revolutions that are DAOs??  Of course #$($*&#$*( not. 

What's his big fat point for the FT?? Clutch yer pearls and hyperventilate, 90% of all BTC traded last year was kept in CEXs!!   So what?? BFD for so many reasons.  First of all, yeah, no chit, the BTC went to an exchange TO trade!!! 

Next, way greater than 90% (more) of all CEX's are just freaking fine, thanks very much.  But ZOOM OUT on this - every noob knows that only around 20% of all BTC EVER freakin trades.    Join us as the FT breaks their arm patting themselves on the backs for this weak hack on <90% of <10% of ~20% of  BTC.  Shmoes.  If we are trotting out THAT old chestnut  to "prove" BTC ain't centralized, then for God's sake mention the ripping upward alternative racing around the world - non-custodial wallets and 100% pure DEXs.   You could at least PRETEND to act like a balanced source, FT!!! Ah ha ha ha ha!! 

Dear readers know we know the FT has no shame whatsoever, trotting our Thir Jonnie Cunny !! Who THIS WEEK proclaimed himself THE UK auth thor reeeet tay on financial stability!!  OK, first own the ATL of sterling, the 40 year ATH for UK inflation, and the death of the pension fund industry in the UK, lost to Merican vulture funds as we speak.  

THEN explain to us how we should care you only got to regulate to THAT result!!! We won't hear you over the laughter tho. 

Moving along - if the FT believed that CDO's were created to spread risks, then they were just incredibly naive, no, not even believing the lies - they were just ill informed.  Anyone who ever thought about the secondary market in mortgages knows damn well that the mortgages break out into tranches, each of which has different qualities.  And the problem is ALWAYS ok we will KEEP or already SOLD the A-tranches!! all the way down to B to C to subprime to  the Z-tranches, WTF ARE we gonna do with these stinking Z tranches?? Bake them in a big arse cake and hope no-one notices is  ALWAYS the answer. 

It's a huge spin, designed to save politicians face,  to call belief in SBF just magical realist thinkin!!!  it was really 100% tightly wound political lies & virtue signaling.  Notice how the FT doesn't recall Tony Blair kissing up to Sammy!!   Or the ex House of Lords Copper escape from the city of London!! 

Zuckerberg exploiting the world       is old news.  This week we heard FB bought all the client TAX info from tax prep companies??!! What could go wrong??  That's  a CEX problem - ya wanna talk Zuck?? When he launched Meta, his brain trust SAID we are so known as corrupt we hope open standard blockchain can save our image!!  Say web3 we dare ya.  

All a tempest in a $(#$& teapot.  It's very funny but we don't care about a skeevy hedge fund vertically integrated with an exchange,  lying about leverage with guanchi and 40 million in bribes THAT WE KNOW OF.  Almost all the FTX damage was really already 3AC and Luna damage, it just had to come out. 

Sorry /not sorry to rant but this is the 20th time in the FT now.  Showing that one hedgie and a hollywood loved exchange are centralized doesn't prove #$(#$&*#(*& about the centralization of crypto.   Tho it does make a nice comparison opp with the 100% fail that is UK fiat management this year.  The GBP DAO needs some fixin!!! ar ar ar AR!!!   Yes, yes we DO like to call it defi!! 

OK BABY WE ARE ALL WARMED UP COACH PUT US BACK IN!!! Cuz HERE are the biggest of the big guns, the ever wiley and stone cold vicious killahs of the full on FT editorial board!!

Here we have copypasta written around links to earlier attacks, showcasing the cornered rat "let crypto burn" col. OK big boys n girls, ya wanna dance?? How bout the mambo?? TLDR: rehash rehash the time for pols, policymakers and reghammers to act is NOW, you MUST act NOW!!!  THERE CAN BE NO HALF MEASURES!! 

Right now, crypto rules are caveat emptor, which has ringfenced tradfi.  Copypasta meaningless BS lockbox, no wait GUARD RAILS, that's the lie!!! We need GUARD RAILS!! supposedly this means 1) gummint controlled only stablecoins and 2) gummint control of CEXs like FTT. 

Transparency should be imposed on exchanges!! Binance said all should show Merkle tree POF.  But that's no help without showing liabilities!! Here we go, WHAT a vicious steak knife we get here: Binance has so far declined to publish its liabilities (sic.) 

US, UK and EU are pushing laws! It's imperative that momentum is not lost!!! It will be hard, won’t work cuz there are safe harbors out there, but reghammer away anyway!!  Waiting for the next crisis would be too late!!!

The REAL story:  Unclutch yer pearls and breathe into a paper bag, ed board.  We expected better from y'all! Let's break it down.

Zoom out - how the EFF can this article not mention complicit politicians.  How the #$#@($*& can this article press for laws to go thru without mentioning that Sammy's lover/CEO / MIT machine WROTE THEM!!! 

Or, zoom in.   FIrst, let the market solve the question of the best stablecoin.  It's a lot smarter than y'all and will save trillions. 

Next the "guard rails" bull #($* metaphor was stillborn for covering up whatever reghammering y'all want to do.  Passing laws for locals only stablecoins just ain't gonna work, the market will flow around it like water, just cost us all bit of inefficiency. & y'all know it.  The hypocrisy of pushing this twaddle when Sammy was ALREADY in the safe harbour in the Bahamas!! & y'all know it. 

We kind of like the really scared clan within the inner sanctum of the FT!!  They are afraid ANY regulation at ALL will just make crypto stronger!!  That's funny!  Sort of true!! actually, any regulation just won't stop it is more like.  It only stops advantages from flowing to those who refuse it, look at the crippled City and London refusing Binance's HQ!!! 

Here's when things get ugly.  In a NASTY move, the FT sez CZ says exchanges should show proof of funds!! YET SOMEHOW the FT didn't notice, can't recall, never does print CZ SHOWED EIGHTY BILLION SITTING AROUND CHILLING ON THE BLOCKCHAIN!!!!! in top shelf blue chip cryptos and stablecoins!! the #$@#($*#*(#@ FT NEVER remembers to print THAT part!!!

Can the FT go even LOWER!!?  YES they can!!   They think this is smart, but it's just a lie!! WE WANT A #$(#$*&#&# CORRECTION!!!!!!

Not only did the FT skip CZ's 80,000,000,000 in provably verifiable funds!   That's funny enough they just can't BEAR to think about it!!! Instead,  they lie that Binance has not stated their liabilities. 

Most DEF not in the FT, NEVER in the FT,  this is a D_MNED LIE!!   LInk below, CZ specifically, publicly answered that question last week TLDL: we QUOTE CZ:  "we don't owe anybody any money. "

Correction, retraction, update,

 QUIT $#(*&$@($*& LYING it's a BAD look FT!!!! ar ar ar ar OOOOO!!!! 

OK, financial times cryptonauts, we are all edjumacated and fully up to speed!! Go forth and prosper!! It's gonna happen!!! let's look at a 24 hr print of BNB for sweet dreams!! YA can't keep a good asset class down, babyTLDR:  we love ya we love ya we love ya!!

Gotta pass out, sleep well when y'all do, safe home.  

PLEASE refer a friend! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg

we see that y'all and the algo are trying to tell us to joke on the FT less and think and laugh more, we are trying but man, someone's gotta Watch these monkees!!! 

Peace out, 

love. 

Dave