Distributed ledger leaders, we LOVE YOU!!! Any grooming tips for your fans??  Thank you for being here to make the future better on the all powerful Pub 0x!!  The Watch Army!! Roll tide!! 

Today's crypto backwards thru the towering pink lady, what do we get? The Coinbase story online yesterday hits dead trees.  Our laugh was: COIN is up 20% year to date!!  TODAY's correction: make that 25% up YTD!!  AH HA HA HA HA HA  What was the prediction? we repeat COIN gonna ROCK OUT in 2023.  Brian ain't playin!!!   NOT in the FT:

Heres crypto that won't say crypto:  the IMF prints up a fresh THREE BILLION to give to good old Eygypt!!  Member when Rafik can't get 90 bucks in USD  to keep his five man company going for a year? SOMEONE's getting $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ can you say Cantillon Positioned!! TLDR:  For THREE BILLION cash, Egypt agrees to have the Army do, get this, LESS.   OKAY!!!   Somehow we think nothing good gets to Rafik.   But ZOOM OUT!!! Three billion cash here, there, after a while maybe, just maybe inflation and corruption!! 

Moving on, here is some HILARIOUS funny news from the BoE!   Now, most folks can agree the gummints have got a LOT wrong lately.  Creating and/or  poorly responding to COVID,  allowing or driving conflicts to destroy global supply chains for food and energy for the little people.   Many say the UK bombed the pipeline !!  But in ANY case we can all agree that all the loose money led to soul-crushing inflation breaking lifetime records, a STONKINGLY bad year for fiat ruling central bank polices.   Right?? 

Nah, nah, here, the Bank of England lets us all know it was the fault of the little, non-central banks AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!! TLDR:  no, seriously, ah HA HA HA HA HA!!  Talk about blame the victim, B 0f E have you NO SHAME!!!   The collapse of Archegos Capital brought TEN BILLION in trading losses in 2021!!  Not in the FT: along with over 100 billion in destruction of market cap.  Bill Hwang was da MAN!!  But so what, that was corruption, not poor risk management ( in the face of overwhelming regulatory environmental tsunami's of shock. ) 

In further blather,  the B of E says two papers are coming in weeks not months, one on how to reghammer BTC and one on CBDCs.   Prediction:  Bitcoin will not notice the failed B of E's paper and will continue to be decentralized and thriving. Let it burn, indeed!!! ar ar ar ar OO000000!!!! 

It's funny, Mica has been in draft since 2020!! that's actually the best place for it!!!   The BoE drops further lies.  They will develop a CBDC that will NOT allow the gummint to see how one spends it!!! QUIT LYING!!!   AH ha ha HA HA HA HA!! Oh yeah, it will be better than Monero or T-Cash  or Iron Fish !!!! Reading music!  Long slow intro.  if you have ADD like us feel free to skip the first 3 minutes!! AH HA HA HA!!!  Prediction:  no one will take the other side of a bet about what a lie THAT is!!!  Privacy CDBCs AH HA HAH HA!!! Stop, tell us another one!!! 

OK OK propaganda about crypto that SAYS crypto!! OK here:  pattern recognition - it's another "despite" article.  Despite all our gloom n doom, Bitcoin ROLLS TIDE!!!  WAR EAGLE ah ha ha ha TLDR:  ETF's had a wild year.    Here's the REAL story.  NOWHERE in this article does it say that BITO took in a quarter billion MORE in 2022!!!  We hear how BITO  number go down.  But investors STILL POURED IN!!   To BITCOIN!! SAY IT HAVE YOU NO SHAME!!!  "despite" blah blah blah. 

Scr-w this story.  It's funny, what ELSE is NOT in this story?   Remember boyz n girls, the worst first year performance ever of any ETF  was the horribly timed SBTC swiss short BTC fund, doing a massive 86.2% loss starting in January 2020 when BTC mooned 285% AH HA HA HA HA THAT's funny put THAT In yer stupid ETF article. 

Let's go to the next story!! It's the same story anyways ah ha ha ha TLDR: pattern recognition much yet???  "Despite!"  "Even though!"  "but but but!!"   We've seen a LOT of this lately.  

Here, we have the SO overused simple BTC horrowshow re-re-re tread low effort graphic, with a story to match ar ar ar !!! Ignite learns to play the FT anti-crypto narrative game, competing for the FT flat roof pub meat prize!!!  Thrill to FT cliche' shot bingo, rehash FTX, number go down, FTX, eth merge number go down, and FTX. 

At the bottom of the article, some bitcoin truth seeps out.  Buy the dip of the dip is taking shape.  Morningstar repeats that to many, crypto is religion, not investment.  Not really, more like anti- blind faith in central banks. 

Then we hit a BIG funny.  Matt, associate director of product development at Cerulli  - wait stop right there.  Cerulli is a research shop, they don't DEVELOP any PRODUCTs, just reports and papers.  Matt, dude, just don't USE that title if that's all ya got, just say senior analyst, ok ar ar ar ar arooooOOOOO!!!  

Or better yet hush but don't say this:  Matt sez flows INTO Bitcoin futures ETFs can be attributed to "investor loss aversion. "   AH ha HA HA HA!!  That's when you don't take the L until ya SELL!!!  Investor loss aversion is when you hold until it gets back up to where you bought it before you sell!!!  THAT HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with PUTTING MORE MONEY IN!!!!!  OMFG SCRAPING the bottom of the barrel for anti-crypto quotes!!! 

Go back to sleep Matt, that quote ain't gonna break y'all into the crypto cognoscenti!!!  Did we READ It wrong??? we did NOT !! Inflows due to loss aversion LMFAOOO!!!!   this is beyond even feeling bad for this guy, he is brain dead, still trying to cudgel the same old cliche into a total misnomer why HE'S JUST LIKE US!!!! 

There's some pumping up of ETFs.  Dear readers know we think ETF's are paper gold, paper bitcoin and paper stocks.  They both violate the actual scarcity of resources while at the same time defeating the already spread thin value prop of stocks.    Member when you were a kid, if you  bought a share of coca-cola, it helped to finance coca cola to make cheaper coke and new products.  Now as an adult, when you buy an ETF with good ol KO somewhere in it, your supposed investment is literally actually just a #$#@($&*$&(   gamble.  Just a ticket from the horse track.   Wow we finally understand why the FT "let it burn" crypto haters keep saying it is all just gambling - because they LOVE ETF's and they ARE.  JUST.  GAMBLING!!! 

More offensive though - if ya bought 21 million BTC's worth of dollar denominated BITGO ETF - it would not go up just  because you tried to buy  them all.  Paper bitcoin is NOT money as it is NOT scarce!!!  

Of course, then again when dining on fat steaks in Chicago, putting dollars into ETF's skips ANY AND ALL questions about your exchange locking up, or even your custodian failing.     Pretty dang regulated, cost one of two percent a year for fees, but unlikely to fail outside of market price action. 

Clueless, Matt is used as the fall guy for the final stab of anti-crypto narrative in the article.   Matt has NOT been in the media much talking crypto AT ALL, but suddenly he knows to parrot  that "inevitable regulation needs to occur." 

Next story online:  The massive catfight attack of the Wrinkelvossers!!! TLDR: this is the big funny one for a LOT of the marbles in crypto!!  The FT is cheering for his fall and many more!!! 

It's hard to cheer for Cameron.  The twins are pretty $#($*&$ cheeky.  Despite owning exactly  ZERO percent of DCG, they are calling for Barry to get fired  in an open letter to DCG shareholders!!!   That ain't right!!!

It's pretty scary,  if Barry falls, it will set crypto back another year. Barry is claiming the moral high ground.  TLDR: we hope Barry is telling the truth, seems like he is.  But then Sammy said he would pay back, that lie lasted about a week until he stole the last 200 million from Mom's basement!!! 

To be CLEAR, Barry is RIGHT, crypto was SWAMPED with a stunningly toxic "bro" culture of fraud and criminal behavior.  That is the truth!! Barry saying that makes us think he is telling the truth!!  But can he pull DCG out of the dive without the wings ripping off the bomber!!  White knuckled adventure!!! 

C'mon Barry man!  Barry points out that the twins marketed their whitelabled Gain product to their clients, he is not responsible for that, only for the agreements he made with the twins, and he is current on all loans. 

 Meanwhile, high profile rats are leaving the DCG ship, including Glenn the Silver Lake co-founder, and Larry Summers, the former US Treasury secretary.  That's not a good sign!! Pass the popcorn!! 

Hey did we mention the questionable moral and ethical standards of evil flying monkey bankruptcy lawyers?? Catch THESE monkeyshines!!! TLDR: FTX paid S & C over 20 million for work, plus hired an S & C partner as general counsel.  Now, S & C got the gig to be the lead investigator AH HA HA HA HA HA!! no really.   Can you say fox investigating the hen house massacre.  S & C says it's all good, baby!!!  We say:

What else:  Here's an over hyped article, a bit of news dressed up in agitprop retreaded hype!!TLDR: we all know how weird it was that Sammy would invest ten or a hundred million in your company, just so you would do the same with him.   That way he could say you invested with him!! AND why bother with that due diligence, here's your stack IN YOUR HAND!!   This story just rehashes this, with a bit more details about doing it with Paradigm. 

It's very funny, the FT can't get a neggy quote about Sammy from Stanford, ah ha ha ha!! So they go to Cornell, tell corporate it's the same picture thoTLDR:  Not that there's anything WRONG with that AH HA HA HA!!  

It's funny, Matt Huang was a partner at the mighty Sequoia. Matt started Paradigm with Coinbase co-founder Fred Ehrsam.  Matt is a freakin honey badger of the FIRST degree.  Matt  already wrote off 300mm in FTX LAST year!!!  This month, Matt went honey badger on Twitter: !! FROM a great height!! and not once but several times AH HA HA HA HA HA HA NOT in the FT

TLDR:  yes baby yes.  Spit on his grave Matt baby!! 

In closing good on ya if yer still here, a letter!! now this is funny.  Written from a big libertarian think tank in Italy.  If only the writer had blindly spewed hate towards crypto and shouted "let it burn AT BEST!!" THEN he would have been invited for a photo shoot and a big puff piece.  Instead, just a letter: TLDR: A couple of inconvenient truths!! 1) nobody knows what crypto is yet.  2) if regulators stay OUT, the taxpayer won't foot the bill.  3) market players always know better than regulators.  

Laughingly, 4) Financial regulators SCREWED THE POODLE in 2008, as did the ECB ongoing inflation scandal right now AH HA HA HA HA!!!  Sorry Alberto, that kind of truth gets ya relegated to the back pages with the 15 year olds ah ha ha ha!! 

We love you cryptonauts!! Keep on keeping on, crypto winter is over, it's OVAH, crimson n clover!!!    That's it, we are all edjucated with the big boys n girls!!! 

Peace out, 

love 

Dave

ps PLEASE refer a friend! ambassador link: https://www.publish0x.com?a=WZdPKv2bKg