FT Crypto Watch, Dec 2

Happy December crypto people, we love you!! Here is hope for your happy holidays and a great finish to the year!! Thanks for joining us here on the next generational Publish0x!   Web3 to the people! It's a better biz model. 

Changing the oil of FT crypto coverage one hamfisted click at a time, big Watch Army!!! Good on ya!! We are 800 avant guarde futurists strong now thanking you.  

Today's FT!!   We love it!!! Tradfi fiat funnies!!  Oh did you hear, when a crypto fund locks up it's the end of days, pausing withdrawals...

WHOOPSIE. BlackRock just locked up a 125 billion dollar REIT fund.  THAT'S funny. 17c4ca14c5a6808a827a9a8c8dae399a7457a636388850d1cfcfb203ede3cafd.pngTLDR:  Somehow Blackstone, those masterful real estate pickers, lost a billion or two buyin n sellin the MGM in Vegas, baby, vegas!!! 

The REAL story:  wish we all had been there for THOSE due diligence team building events at the Mandalay ah ha HA HA HA!!!  

PM Modi is campaigning what photography52370cd0731fed266b1988feb904e341097e3424bed3cf45da16cc3b22123323.png

OK OK crypto that says crypto:  The FT apology for Sammy apologizing that we laughed at yesterday makes print.  Today it looks much more sinister.  0e1a94d02a058b50a24042747d8063ae51d535208aaf32da3a8ad90b087d4b09.pngWhy do we say THAT?  NOT in the FT: Mostly this awesome tweet we lifted from the Nexo newsletter, bless them 9b8a535788da2764afe770e087a7eddc04f4b6ecc536c3a85a4f6425db26f455.png

we wish that were funnier than it is!!! ar ar ar !! 


New!! &  in print:  BNY Mellon is THE heavyweight old school custodian bank who now does custody crypto!!  Here's Vince85b905e5dc639b02c18a3ba272a75a65b68f3c20eb9c5cb07a17f7d6b18bb84e.pngTLDR:  Robin has to walk a fine freaking line & he does well.  First principle is finance should embrace innovation.  Second is rule of law. Without trust, we have nothing.    

The REAL story:  "guardrails" we are sick of hearing guardrails name checked like they mean ANYTHING!!! The evils of crypto are coming for SURE as CDBCs, so we should get some bennies as well.  Robin skirts the whole trust issue with vagaries.  He never says crypto can mean ya don't have to trust ANYONE - not the banks, not the regs, not the auditors.  Kind of a nothingburger but we have to give respect to Mellon. 

That's all for dead trees:  ONLINE !!  cfd148cdf00406d952ea441bebda30514909acfe95a952fc6f248b4c67786e13.pngUnhedged starts laughing at Blackstone's REIT, it IS very FUNNY!!!  Look, Blackstone is LYING THEIR ARSES OFF 

ff50b0ee8107873ca4eec9d964c45ba7628837770a329c44f26381f35ebcca23.pngAH HA HA HA HA !!  And then suddenly like, yer locking withdrawals.  It would be on the front page if it was CRYPTO!!!

This one hurts, it is TOTALLY an FT SPECIAL crop job, a chart crime, but it IS funny: fed9c9cbcd80dab6aebd9905d871f4fcf8ac20d14a665fa5d22ada266cc311eb.pngThe FT moves on - member, Sammy was the adult in the room (sic.) No he wasn't, that was CZ.   Or Coinbase, take yer pick! 

The FT moves into more rehash, focus on the recent BIS attack on crypto.  In short, BTC lured in young men, and whales dumped on them.  Now 80% of hodlers have lost money. It's funny, the FT here portrays the rise of the shrimp army, small bag HODLers, as a BAD THING!!! AH ha ha !! 

 Bitcoin is just a speculative plaything.  Now  finished !!! Death to crypto inshallah haibibi!! As it was stated, so it was proved.  NOT.  Bite it FT.  If you believe your own poison, why bother spewing it?? Clearly it's all already over NOT AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!  Have a stack of XFUs, the tokenized FU's for yer collection.  

Next: ATX took the money and RAN!!!  Party in the Seychelles baby!! 78fc7a21c7cb2f1be725d04d682ce2dbdd04fdf7c7a11d340223a01c27aa7bca.pngGotta keep it on the down low in HK tho!! We remember AAX, they bought tech from the London Stock Exchange, the LSE.   Then AAX lied about volume for a while, rising up at one point to say they were big #2 for a hot minute, maybe 10% of Binance turnover!!  

The REAL story:  we never cared about the LSE tech, why would we??  NYSE is big #1 by market cap, with 10x the LSE cap.  Next is Nasdaq, Shanghai, Japan, Euronext, the LSE is not even a top ten player. 

In any case, AAX has rug pulled and ran, we think they had $$ with Sammy too.  Or if not, a good smoke screen for cuttin n runnin. 

NEXT: 28ef8139aeec5e74cc9c06d9b9c541e91c0cd1e0740b51db49af27d787c82d72.pngTLDR: Sammy's algos for auto liquidation had some nifty feature where at the end, market players were encouraged to vulture fund on the wreckage.  Or, maybe his cheezy auto system dead ended under extreme cases, where big boys had to back up the system anyway.  In either version, a degen trader with a chitcoin ripped a billion dollar hole in FTX when only FTX was left holding the bag over his fancy schmantzy, sell it to the FIA auto systems shit the bed. 

Previously unreported - kudos to the FT - it was what Mobilecoin what  did the evil deed. 33b6d8190d05b848bf71e9bc30ffd6e1de5fdf35ef9addb00b699d811aa1d6b6.pngTLDR:  Sammy's untested system, written by a CTO who still started writing the new projects without telling or really managing anyone, lol!!!  Some unnamed hacker / trader did the classic, whipped MobileCoin up from 5 to 50, then did a version of a flash loan from Sammy, then laughed his ass off!!!  Supposedly, that was the first time Sammy borrowed a cup full of a billion dollars from one company to give to another.  When FTX had to eat the bag left behind by his non auto auto systems ar ar ar !!! 

Otherwise a lotta rehash, but two thank yous!! 

NEXT !! Friday agitprop ! cd512c116c3f7fcc48341976275d90817ee7a675e0842694bc45437173d4eea4.pngTLDR:  an absolute litany of all the rehashs and copypasta drivel of the latest anti-crypto narrative talking down points!!  Sickeningly, the FT calls Stevie Diehl a renowned ( renowned only by himself and the FT expense accounts) when he told a panel of industry experts they were all absurd.   Pretty funny, as ya can figure Stevie had the lowest net worth of everyone he was insulting.  No coverage of how THAT went over!! 

At some other confab, the FT asks bankers if there is reputational risk in dealing with cryptos.  The bankers went silent.  Then they thought of the world's most trusted  BNY Mellon doing crypto custody, and thought hell no.   Just didn't even ANSWER that stupidity!!  Yes these stories ARE embarrassing, but not the way y'all THINK THEY ARE AH HA HA HA ar ar ar ar OOOOOOOO!!!!! 

100% boring rehash. The latest copypasta is the "let it burn" regulation thrust.  Not well displayed  here, but it IS funny.  It's the MEANEST of all the "why don't they just ban it."  Because it's the only one that could be done even in theory- just don't allow any bank to hold crypto.  It STILL won't work in practice, but it's existentially funny!! 

Our liver & stomach can't handle the agitprop drinking bingo tonight.  There are a couple of funnies tho - links off to things that OFFENDED the FT, real people laughing at this Pravda worthy party line!!  Here's the best one77ff5f855b624062cc6dd5cff9113488858381965f34596aa51dac70ddd98374.pngTLDR: thanks Brian!! 

But this one is pretty damn funny.  Chris, in her Mockingbird scarf, tells us she is so sad her policies will hurt the little people. But the BIG IMPORTANT people believe inflation will go DOWN in 2022.   6f891b82a6c4abfe658a897bb972a25545ef2d5f9eb7069429f10425f0764b71.pngTLDR: Oh ha ha ha!! Whoopsie. The boys play with the frog for sport but the frog dies for real. 

Scraping the bottom of the WORLD for crypto critics, the FT dusts off Dave at New Constructs for fresh drivel.  All the crypto assets are linked, now it is only a matter of time for them all to fall. 

Dear readers know New Constructs is a tiny, fading research firm that specializes in machine reading financial filings for some tiny inside baseball valuation edge.  Which in reality means serfs adjusting scripts and then doing it by hand, lol.

We know that ANY research firm that never liked a SINGLE crypto over the past ten years should not be allowed to recommend ANYTHING.  Let alone we should listen to them on crypto!! Again!!! 

Finally, Kraken cut staff and vol is down.  Whatever.  

Let's check.  So even the really positive rehashed news, Binance enters Tokyo, is spun like death warmed over - cluck cluck, it's ONLY A YEAR AFTER the Tokyo FSA warned them!! 

Have another truck load of FUs, FT.  Have an infinite amount of XFUs on CREDIT!!!   Lots of people had really positive things to say about crypto at that conference.  In the entire $#([email protected]$&* newsletter, y'all can't find ONE to TRY and be balanced?  WE WANNA RETRACTION!!   Ya know what?  here's the late breaking reading music TLDR:  from NYC -  for the FT's dogged foregone conclusion side, or for crypto's side - nah, it's for crypto's side.  Maybe NEXT WEEK lol!! 


OK we gotta snooze, thanks so much we love y'all!! 

Peace out



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Dave Sawyer
Dave Sawyer

National Merit got this punk rocker to Oberlin, and Wall Street fintech gave up world tours and an NYU MBA. I am a Bitcoin true believer. Bitcoin is deeply revolutionary in a way we always prayed tech would be. Keep the baby Faith!

FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!
FT WATCH - the Financial Times on Crypto!!!

The WSJ turned into USA today - which leaves the FT at the top of the heap for serious financial news! Join us for a semi-serious monitoring of the FUD & hate the FT now showers on crypto. Dear readers know we love that pink newspaper but boy howdy does the FT despise crypto--- it's funny. The old guard always fights the new guard. The FT does it eruditely, with misleading comments, fun graphs, and outright lies (usually) attributed to crypto's greatest enemies!

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