An unpleasant surprise awaited the members of the Reichgruppe movement, who sought a coup d'état in Germany and the establishment of the good old Third Reich. Their official request was rejected by the Coup Approving Authority. The members intend to appeal the decision.
"It's an unpleasant thing. It affected us all. Right now before Christmas," lamented the leader of the movement of nobles, Heinrich XIII. called Reinhard, who serves as the shadow leader of the movement.
"We had everything ready. We planned a coup with everything. We also had an arrangement with soldiers who would break into the government office and possibly shoot everyone there if they resisted.
Following this, we prepared everything necessary for Kristallnacht and an honest imperial pogrom. Germany needs a pogrom like salt. Now all our efforts have come to nothing,” cried Heinrich XIII. and winked nostalgically.
"It should have been with everything everywhere. We had negotiated the resumption of traffic in Auschwitz, albeit only partially. From the new year, we would gather Jews, Roma and the intelligentsia there. I am most sorry for Birgit, who has been sewing Stars of David in her free time since September at home in her spare time," hinted Heinrich XIII. to another member of the movement leadership, Birgit Winkemann, a former judge and member of the Bundestag for the AFD.
“She's had so much to do with it, and now we're not going to use the stars. We can sell them through the e-shop, but I don't think enough people will buy it to at least cover the cost,” Heinrich XIII shook his head in disappointment.
“So much money we've invested in it. Who will give it back to us? We had big plans. We planned a commemorative invasion of Poland for the closing ceremony. It was supposed to be Germany's return to its roots. We also planned the Christmas lighting of the statue of Adolf Hitler in the square. Even the hologram of Adolf Hitler is ready and, unfortunately, already paid for. And that's not counting the second volume of Mein Kampf, which I personally wrote. The book is ready to be shipped to hit the Christmas market. So every German could find Mein Kampf 2 under the tree. It would be a nice Christmas. Without a coup, I don't know if anyone will buy it. Also, our merch without a coup makes no sense. Christmas swastikas for the Christmas tree, which we sell for only three euros each, will definitely be a lager without a coup. So much money and time we've sunk into it. But we won't give up. Adolf Hitler would not surrender. We will appeal. Our request for a coup d'état met all the prescribed requirements. I believe that the request was rejected for political reasons," Heinrich XIII is convinced.
"Yes, the request of the Reichgruppe movement for a coup d'état was indeed rejected by our office. Some criteria were not met. For example, the wrong date was given for the application, which by law had to be submitted by the end of November. In addition, Vladimir Putin was listed as one of the contractors, which is impossible. Coup applicants must be German citizens. The aggrieved party has already appealed the coup approval authority's decision. There is now a one-month appeal review period, during which the aggrieved party has the opportunity to correct disputed and unclear information in the coup application," explains Hans Braun of the Coup Approval Office.
It looks like all is not lost and there is still hope for the Third Reich. However, according to Hans Braun, it is very likely that the citizens of the Reich will not achieve their goal even after the recall, so the court will have to decide on a possible coup d'état.
This is a fake news about things which didn't happen, but they could, as unbelievable as they sound.
Any coincidence of names of persons or names of places is purely coincidental and has no relation to the real world.
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