How are you doing today? I hope you're fine and well. I hope you wear the smile I gave you and live the life you dreamt of. Please don't worry about me because I am wearing the smile you gave me. 

This is what I usually write in the letter I made for you each day but none of these reach you because I am afraid that I might awaken your deepest heart and you will leave the person whom you promise to spent your lifetime with. I remember those good old days we spent together, the day where you bring me to a silent place when my heart is feeling lonely and sad. I remember those days where you hold my hands and lend me your shoulders to rest a little when my day isn't good enough. I remember the times when you called me and ask me to eat with you and accompany you in your little journey.

I really thought that those good old memories will lasts and is good enough for us to walk in the aisle and promise our unfolding love and pronounce our vows in front of the cheering crowd.

But I was wrong.

I thought I was enough, but I fail to realize that there would be someone else out there of whom who can give you the good old memories you gave me. This time you are taken care of, this time you're not worried of me anymore; not worried of what I eat, what I will be wearing, and what kind of days would I encounter because there is someone else whom you can rest with, laugh with, and spent the lifetime full of love with.

Back on the days where you told me to spend a day or two with you, those were one of the happiest moment of my life.

I gave you the smile, I painted you the love, I help you become somebody whom someone could love.

It's my fault. It's my fault when I told you that it's okay if you'll go far from me because I am not the weak "me" anymore. It's my fault when I told you that I can stand on my own and can cry on my own without you,

even if I know deep inside me that you're the only antidote of my saddest times and the strength of my weakest moment.

I made a decision to help you become what you want to be. If only you told me that I am way important than those dreams, I would have stayed. If only you told me that "Let's reach our dreams together" it would have been easy for me to go forward.

I am lost in this woody forest of my dreams, it seems dark and I know even if I strive I can't reach you and meet you in the end of my journey. 

I lost you! You are my lost love of whom somebody found and cheerished. You are my lost heart of whom somebody take and took care of. If only I hold you a little. But I am way too late and way selfish if I won't let go of you now.

So, I will just keep writing and hoping that a letter or two will reach the door of your heart and remember the memories of old that we've shared together in the days of our young hearts;

those days when we care nothing but our hearts.