Being with a baby in the wee hours is like playing competitive sports. You play defensive first and hold your ground as you watch stony-faced at how this incredible ball of energy bam-bam-bam against your jacket and let his force dissipate.

Then he leans closer to you. He yawns. You strike. You force him onto cradle mode. You rock - sometimes gently, sometimes vigorously, always steadily - until his eyes start to shut.

You don’t let off on the attack. No, sir, you push forward! You rock and you rock and you rock until his snoring begins to serenade you - quite possibly the most beautiful music you’ll hear all day.

Goooooooooaaaaaal!