10 Things I Learnt About Parenting

1. Parenting has trained me to go with my gut. Shit happens (sometimes literally), and I react before I even completely think about it. Sometimes, I’m amazed at how my instinct prevents a full-blown tantrum.
2. No shit at work compares to the three ordeals I stoically endure every night: getting him to go home, getting him to shower, and getting him to have dinner. Why he will choose to play with his Lego set right after I switch off the TV and announce ‘shower time’ is the greatest mystery ever. I constantly pinch myself to reassure myself that he isn’t doing it out of spite.
3. That’s why money is no expense if it means he will eat his dinner with gusto, which will leave me to eat mine in peace. Hello, $18 salmon bento sets from Yayoi!
4. Unfortunately for him, my teacher’s salary doesn’t allow me to feed him $18 bento sets every night. So on nights in which he has to eat more wallet-friendly meals but dilly-dallies by playing the fool, I have learnt to stop cajoling him to eat and focus on wolfing down my meal. He will come around when he’s hungry enough. I have reached Nirvana.
5. If you are wondering why half of this post seems to be about eating, it’s because I’m more concerned about his lack of weight than other things like his proficiency in English. Probably because I was a skinny kid growing up and recall the trauma associated with people asking me “Why are you so skinny?” What kind of question to ask an elementary school kid?!
6. Mandarin is my heart language because the way he utters Chinese words tugs at my heartstrings in a way that doesn’t apply for English.
7. But hands down, my heart melts the most when he says Arigato unexpectedly. Okay, for your 4-syllable utterance, I will hang in there longer in this whirlpool of parenting burnout.
8. I have probably learnt more about dinosaurs in these 3 years than the previous 30+ years without him. I might just take him to Fukui prefecture - the Jurassic Park of Japan - one day.
9. Parenting is one endless list of negotiations to navigate. Do I let him be or enforce my way? There is of course the Highway, but to hell could I get him to embark on it because his sheer force of will lets him repeat his demand over and over…until I give in. This is the teacher who scolded 15-year-old boys until they cried, now rendered helpless and being swirled around his tiny pinkie.
10. I have come to think of parenting duties and household chores as Tetris pieces. My job is to fit these pieces seamlessly within those few precious hours in the evening. Sometimes, my plan works like a charm; he’s in the best of moods; we tick everything off the to-do list one hour than usual….But this hour is often gone to waste as I scroll aimlessly on my iPhone, willing the mindlessness of frivolous social media stalking suck away my lethargy. The night is all but gone; another battle awaits tomorrow.