Dereks Time Travel Note Books: VI A Short Surprise Robbery.


Derek made some notes on a problem he thought relevant to Cryptocurrency Investors. The problem is that Cryptocurrencies fluctuate in value. A perennial worry is such things as the theft of Cryptocurrency and market crashes. Which amount to the same thing, in some Investors' opinions.

The notes were quite a florid style. Wandering across the page with a flourish. It was August 27th 1982. It was a Friday. Derek had a hangover.

A Time Traveller tells a Cryptocurrency Investor that They will be robbed of their DOGE at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the robbery will be a surprise to the Cryptocurrency Investor. They will not know the day of the robbery until the Time Traveller knocks on their Office door, at noon, on the day of the robbery.

Having reflected on the future, the Cryptocurrency Investor draws the conclusion that they will escape from the robbery. Their reasoning is in several parts. They begin by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday. If They have not been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if they are hanged on Friday. Since the Time Traveller's statement stipulated that the robbery would be a surprise to them, They concludes it cannot occur on Friday.

They then reasons that the surprise robbery cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if They have not been robbed by Wednesday noon, the robbery must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday robbery not a surprise either. By similar reasoning, They concludes that the robbery can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully They retires to their cell confident that the robbery will not occur at all.

The next week, the Time Traveller knocks on the Cryptocurrency Investor's door at noon on Wednesday - which, despite all the above, was an utter surprise. Everything the Time Traveller said came true.

Derek's main concern was this: Time Travellers make Block Chains difficult by being a constant source of surprise and surprise is remarkably vague. Derek was remarkably consistent that the problem was not that the robbery was logically impossible but that the Cryptocurrency Investor assumed they would have certain, specific, states of knowledge at certain, specific points in space time.

Cryptically, Derek made a note in the margin: selfish people will always be surprised by altruists.

Derek also made a note that any Time Traveller worth a damn would travel to next Wednesday to check if the robbery had taken place.

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Hubert Huzzah
Hubert Huzzah

An ongoing manifestation of Thee Surrealerpool Collage of Alchymical, Flâneurial and ’Pataphysical Studies. An Institutuion with membership by invitation, coercion and accident only. Hawkers, Traders and Carlists not welcome except by exception.


Derek has given up Time Travel.
Derek has given up Time Travel.

Derek has given up Time Travels for reasons of practical expedience and to devote more time to a particularly important project. Episode #1 of an intermittent series on Surrealism, Technology, and Science.

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