Ethereum is the second most popular cryptocurrency in the space, behind only Bitcoin.  Some people might even argue that it tops the Big B!  But as we are all well aware, the merge to Ethereum 2.0, or ETH2, or E2: Electric Boogaloo, is taking far longer than planned, and crypto investors want to know why!

So without any further ado (and with greatest respect to Mr. David Letterman), here are the Top Ten reasons the Etherium Merge is taking so long:

10)   Upgrade has been ready for months, but the gas fees are too damn high!

9)     Vitalik too busy binging Dr. Who and The Wire.

8)     SpaceX flight delayed, preventing investors from literally going "to the moon!"

7)     Developers locked in bitter feud over which font to use while coding new smart contracts.

6)     Fear that cryptocurrency can contract Monkeypox.

5)     Waiting to see how the final Game of Thrones novels turn out.

4)     Major investor misunderstood move to "Proof-of-Stake" – now seeking approval from USDA for "Prime Cut" rating.

3)     No rush, because once time travel is invented in 2029, they will go back and make it seem like the transition happened right on schedule.

2)     Nobody knew baby formula would be so crucial to the transition!

1)     Super embarrassed developers finally turning their attention to mastering the art of sharding, after mistakenly spending months mastering the art of sharting.

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Ethereum-logo-portrait-purple by Ethereum Foundation is licensed under CC by 3.0