At some point, I was clicking threw various readings on LinkedIn and discovered this young lady who was also raped.

I am guarded by who I let influence me or even give me advice. 

This young lady wrote about healing, vengeance, and discontent; spreading it. The way she said it I found that it caught my attention.... as if the words just jumped off the page.... I had to explore this...

For a very long time I wanted vengeance on the people who acted so beastly.... i used my talent of research to find ways to take vengeance against them. 

Yet, this young woman said, "We don't need revenge or to go after the military or the VA. We don't need to spread hate or discontent." A hash tag of #checkyourego was at the bottom. 

Self examination has been a strong suit of mine... I am extremely critical more so of myself and my motivates. 

I had read at some point somewhere else that knowing you are enough. 

I appreciate that my case is so damn complicated, hard, difficult....

I don't hate anyone. Yet, I am very disappointed, and discontent with all of this. 

I am good enough...

I can't make anyone else see that...

I was able to overcome many things but I didn't do it in my own strength.... I prayed and really did seek God on these matters. Then I went forward....

I gain nothing from exposing things that the Army CID COMMAND did not do. 

I can hope that at one point someone with authority, with a voice will listen and make the changes.

Yes, the man who ravished me, lied on me got to walk away... the broken system caused that.... not him... 

Yes, my credibility came under attack while the credibility of those who cleared him was not vetted.... that is a result of a broken system... the system so fractured that it needs to be rebuilt. 

I can't blame them....

The young lady was clear in her writing that her message made sense.

I sought out to clear myself to give other victims hope that they can fight back and win.

Vengeance is not my job. 

I whole heartedly wanted to spare suffering for so many others. 

I will not take vengeance.... 

I will stand on what has been completed. 

Christina D. Thundathil