Hey hey, it's your boy Clem Fandango here with the hottest scoop in the crypto-verse. Looks like ol' Sammy "Fried-man" Bankman is in some deep doo-doo with the law. Apparently, the dude tried to influence a witness in a criminal fraud case against him. Talk about sketchy! But let's be real, who didn't see this coming? I mean, the guy's name is "Fried" for cryin' out loud.

And if that wasn't bad enough, the government is trying to ban him from using encrypted messaging apps like Signal. I guess they're scared he's gonna send a few "litecoin is a scam" messages or something.

But the real kicker? The man is asking for access to FTX funds to use in his defense. His lawyers are saying not all of the money he earned was a scam. Yeah, okay buddy. Keep telling yourself that.

Looks like Sammy's gonna need a miracle to get out of this one. Or maybe a really good lawyer. Or a really good lawyer...who's also a miracle worker.

In other news, litecoin is still a scam. Just sayin'.

Stay safe out there folks, and always remember, trust no one. Except me, Clem Fandango, your trusty crypto-guide.