Hello reader, if you've found this blog you've joined a select club. The club of people who have enough time in their day for the opinion piece of someone posing as the incompetent intern from a forgotten UK sitcom. Life must be treating you well?

At least you're not pinning your hopes on a 0.01% a year savings account though, right? 

Until recently, the food coin fad was a mystery to me. Why anyone would lock their precious magical internet money into a "smart" contract embodied by a cartoon snack GIF was beyond my comprehension. But then, the idio-wisdom of the masses always is. I laughed when their yams turned to yikes. I laughed when their hotdogs became jerky. And was anyone shocked when their raw fish went off? 

But, when the alternatives aren't even really alternatives, I guess sometimes, in order to defeat stupid, you must first become stupid. 

So I'm off to put some pickle on my burgers and flip them into pancake batter because, well, it's better to have 10,000% of something for a minute, than 0.01% of nothing forever. At least I know the anonymous contract chefs are having fun with my money! 

*disclaimer: if you take any of this to be financial advice then you should probably give daddies credit card back before you do any real damage.