It's been 60 days since I last ordered drugs over the internet. This is a big deal. Then again, it's really not. I'm starting to become impulsive again. I just bought 3 million Big Eye tokens, so I'm obviously unhinged. I've been without a job since June and the days have become depressing. While I love spending more time with my children, I can't deny the fact that I feel empty. My mind likes to remind me of these things, practically on and hourly basis. I'm less than a decade away from 40 and have yet to find my place in the working world and I refuse for it to be retail. 

My husband, a trust fund kid, has been retired since the age of 20. He uses his time to work on his pottery and practice his archery, all while smoking on his herb pipe. The man sweats marijuana. Not that I'm complaining, it's actually a comforting smell for me. You may think because of his family's wealth, I shouldn't have to stress over getting a job. However, I do believe if I don't keep my mind occupied, I may go mad and end up with an empty 401k and a shitload of scam tokens and some beanstalk beans. 

Yes, I'm in therapy, how did you know? Is it going well, I'm not sure. I've been seeing my therapist for four years and for the last three of those years, my feelings for him have been quite deep. The poor guy didn't know what he was getting into when he met me. I like to think I quit drinking for myself, but really, I did it for him. I thought he would reward me with a shag, but that has yet to happen. I'm waiting patiently for him to change his mind, but he said he could lose his license. I may have a long wait. My husband has been seeing his boyfriend for over a year, would it be so wrong of me to want some fun, too? Because I'm getting quite bored again.