Hey Cryptopunks, we love y'all so much! In a nosediving world, our beliefs are not just the way forward but virtually the only positive social evolution happening this geopolitical revolution! Let's dig right in!
Number Ten funniest GME crypto news - remember boys n girls, recently JP Morgan took a half billion or billion dollar FINE for squirreling with the silver market for decades. Don't know what they did, but must have been worth ten billion if they paid one in fines. So now? Monday is D-day for little guy's attack on silver. ... AnnnnnnnNNNNND Gold is next. the whole crooked market is waiting for a kamikazee squad of brigading nutcases to directly engage the central banks fiddling. Could be epic, pass the popcorn.
Number nine funniest GME market crypto - more blather from the cheergirls of the Federated banks. The head of the british fed said some implausible bullshit like the bitcoin tech was not the good one. But hilariously, this fat fff Augustin,
ah ha ha ha ha, bitcoin is taking over because of central banks giant fat sweaty stinking obese unending greed and lust for power, and Carstens is their poster boy to regain trust! "if" "digital currencies" are just maybe needed!!!! Talk to this guy's laundry lady before we talk trust.... Bonus funny at number nine - supposedly Yellen called from the white house to shut down the brokerage firms allowing GME access... EXTRA SUPER BONUS FED CENTRAL BANK FUNNY AH AH AH HA HA HA HA HA HA Yellen just finished a year "off" where she did the talk show circuit, which for her ilk means a world tour collecting ~TEN MILLION "speaking fees" / pre-paid bribes. so this month Yellen is regulating Citadel? WHEN LAST QUARTER THEY PAID HER 800K "for speaking!!???!!" Really truly can't make this chit up
Number eight funniest GME crypto - It's it's Melvin !!!
Melvin, named as an insider NYC joke? a strange ass hedge fund with something like 12 Billion AUM and only seven investors?? we've been in Melvin's building on Mad Ave, right in hedge fund row south of central park. Think perhaps those dudes are connected? Leading to
Number Seven funniest GME crypto insider trading - Nancy Pelosi buys zillions of calls on Tesla right before Biden announces new green deals. Cmon man Nancy - at least have the common courtesy of a reacharound to BUY the stocks, pretend a LITTLE, not just play the option markets, that's insulting....c'mon not just crooks in a rigged market right? leading to
Number six - Stevie Cohen at SAC Cap dumps in 1.25 billion. Careful you Met owner, billions here, billion there, that can add up to real money as your Amazin fans clamoured while your Twitter brownie points melted!!! Now, we have a lotta love for SAC, they spent zillions on high speed tech, lotta friends worked there and always fun to visit their little citadel in the woods up in Stamford. Sure, Stevie
had to pay A BILLION OR TWO IN FINES FOR INSIDER TRADING, but as a fintechie, where exactly does fast technology and news based low latency trading quit being good business and turns into crime? Some would say when Stevie was barred from trading for two years. But HEY ONLY MARTHA STEWART AND Bitmex execs actually DO jail... why would a TWO BILLION DOLLAR FINE INCLUDE JAIL TIME? Plus funny on #5 - supposedly, after the white house called the brokers to shut down, Citadel reloaded on the short ? if true, achingly funny...
Number five - Elizabeth Warren loses the plot? Lizzie is all foul - saying "investigate Reddit!" and " maybe rich people on both sides!?" This is hilarious - LIzzies weighs in that the SEC should regulate against the little guy ??? Remember the mighty Liz versus Wall Street? Yeah WELL NEITHER DOES SHE AHH AHH HA HA HA
wait lets think who would have access to giant hedge funds that can make money by running shorts. Hmm, connected politicians like Lizzy? But This, THIS guy is funny:
Number four funniest - Leon Cooperman says quit picking on billionaire stock short artists!
Ya can't make this stuff up. Really? Shorts are lower than vulture funds. These hamptons hedgies made money beating a number of marginal companies into the ground, destroying jobs and services, in an ACTUAL TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL way shorting more than 100% of the existing stock, which is basically never enforced. Feel the hate, Leon, fully earned. But then to squeeze these illegally positioned assh-les? Totally moral. Why? because
Number three! - Yes, Game Stop is the Waterloo. The .01 percenters chose to pick on Game Stop, whipping a three month trend into a final surge of fast moving zombies overwhelming the hedgies in a wave of hate. well, yeah. The elite attacked Game Stop, removing our source of video games? THIS IS THE LAIR OF THE NECK BEARD MF. Beware the collective rage of cornered autist gamers. The stinky, lonely haven pushing Assassin's Creed to the masses, filled with gamers and their girls n guys just has the moral high ground, it's so clear.
Number two ! - Robin Hood becomes Sheriff of Nottingham Forest. Protect the rich, and eff the poor.
OK, Robin Hood was always a joke / scam, bought and paid for BY Citadel in order to turn all the idiot traders into a market data source for quants trading sentiment models. But jesus, poetic justice, ho ho ho and let's destroy the illusion of a free market while wearing tights!! As hordes of Robin Hoodies pulled all their money out of their stock accounts, many of them started slamming it into the quasi crypto the Hood offers. So what did Robbie do? shut down access to buy fakie crypto.... kiss the mailed fist you serfs. One side has a suit of armour, you have a dirt clod. Robin Hood, and anyone else who halted or restricted GME trading other than a NYSE circuit breaker, eff you you bendeho.
Time for Number One - the funniest crypto of GME - the new definition of EFF YOU money!!! YAY!!! Old EFF YA money was a grand old wall street concept. Dates back forever, but certainly famous when the Vanderbuilts started bitching about how their friends lived too well. Yes, the REALLY rich were pissed because their pals who were only a little rich lived just as well! In the late eighties true FU money in NYC was around 35-40 million, put into triple tax free munis ( hah) providing 5%, one could live on 2MM a year, which at that time, maybe you could not buy anything you wanted, but you could rent anything you wanted and lead the same life as anything the billionaires could do. Ah yes old school idealistic, egalitarian concept of F U money. Post GME??
In today's post truthy broken dream world run by the corporations, lobbyists, crony governments and epic corruption, FU money has a whole new meaning. Urban Dictionary better move their ass. Read a couple pages on r/WSB and we see twenty different versions of " my dad lost it all in 2008 and I hate you all " and "we watched the hated banks drink champaign and laugh at the occupy wall streeters " and " I know I'll never not worry about money in my entire gd life, but by god while I draw breath I will take this money and burn it, throw it away forever right now just to say eff you, Melvin, eff you, Robin Hood, eff you each and every one." Yep. And, Potato_In_My_Ass, don't forget the horses they rode in on!
Congrats Robin Hood, Melvin, and whoever made those phone calls to TD, etc, ya changed the game, and EFFFF YOUOOUUOOOO MONEY!!! will never be the same for it. Shall we switch to MODERN TexAss vernacular? that would be - yo Melvin & Robin Hood - FU up the -ss with a CHAINSAW!!!! brrrrrr brrrt!! ( Texas punker subtext - we cried because we had no starter fluid, until we met a man who had no chainsaw... )
God bless y'all, love Dave