By QueenBDivine Notice this. Crypto was supposed to get rid of the middleman, right? That was one of the things that caught my attention in the first place. The idea that maybe there could be another way to hold value, move value, invest, create and participate financially without seventeen people standing between you and your own freaking money. And yet somehow, here we are. Exchanges. Apps. Wallets. Platforms. Networks. Passwords. Seed phrases. Verification. More verification. “Please prove you're human.” “Please prove you're still human.” “Please take a picture of yourself proving you're the same human who proved they were human yesterday.” Lord have mercy. Somehow we managed to put some of the middle back into getting rid of the middleman.
And before somebody comes for me with a blockchain textbook, calm down. I'm not trying to teach the technical structure of cryptocurrency here. I'm talking about something much more human: the relationship between you, your money and all the stuff that gets placed in between. Because sometimes I wonder if we're so busy learning how to navigate the systems that we've forgotten why we entered the system in the first place.
I think about this stuff in the morning. That's what I do. I'm blessed to have time where I can sit, think and let my mind wander around without somebody standing over me asking what my productivity level is. And the older I get, the more valuable that feels. Time is an asset too. Peace is an asset. Being able to sit inside a body you love, with a mind you cherish, and simply think for a while—that's some damn good wealth right there. It may not show up in your crypto wallet, but don't tell me it isn't valuable.
My mother is Jamaican, and growing up she had this interesting philosophy that if there was something we could learn to do ourselves, apparently we were going to learn to do it ourselves. I say she encouraged us, but let's tell the truth: she motivated us very aggressively. At the time, I thought it was incredibly annoying. Why did I have to learn everything? Couldn't somebody just do the damn thing for me? Other children appeared to be living perfectly happy lives while somebody else handled things. Meanwhile, I was attending the University of Figure That Shit Out.
Now I'm grateful for it because she planted something in me that I didn't fully appreciate until much later: learn how things work. Don't automatically assume somebody else has to stand between you and the result you want. Ask questions. Try something. Screw it up. Learn why you screwed it up. Try again. That mentality has followed me into a lot of areas of my life, including money.
And maybe that's one reason crypto interested me. Not because I thought Bitcoin was going to descend from the heavens carrying a suitcase of money with my name written on it. Although, Bitcoin, if you're listening, I remain available. It interested me because it made me think differently about money itself. What is money? Who controls it? Where does it sit? Why does it move the way it moves? What am I actually doing when I exchange my time for dollars and then exchange those dollars for something else? Those questions are valuable even if you never buy a single cryptocurrency.
Our relationship with money has become incredibly layered. You work for your money, your employer pays it into an account, an institution holds it, a card accesses it, a processor moves it, another system approves the transaction and then a little machine at the grocery store flashes APPROVED like you've just passed an exam. I still laugh about that. I put my card in, enter my code and when the machine says APPROVED I'm tempted to say, “Oh wow. They let me have my money.” It's ridiculous when you think about it.
Crypto came along with this enormous conversation about financial independence and decentralization, and I like the conversation. I think conversations that make people curious about their money are valuable. But here's where I think we need to be careful: removing one middleman doesn't automatically make you independent. If you don't understand what you're doing, somebody—or something—can still become the middleman between you and your decisions. Maybe it's an exchange. Maybe it's an influencer. Maybe it's some guy online screaming that a coin is going to 100X before Thursday. Maybe it's fear. Maybe it's greed. Maybe it's the damn chart. Hell, sometimes the middleman isn't even a person. Sometimes the middleman is your own FOMO.
And that's where this conversation becomes bigger than crypto. If every time Bitcoin goes down you need somebody on YouTube to tell you whether you're okay, who is really holding your confidence? If every time something pumps you immediately feel like you're missing your only opportunity in life, who's making the decision? If you don't understand what you bought, why you bought it, where you're holding it or what risks you're taking, did you actually remove the middleman—or did you just replace the bank teller with somebody holding a ring light? That's worth thinking about.
I'm not saying everybody needs to become their own financial institution. I'm not saying throw away your bank card, delete every exchange and carve your seed phrase into a tree in the woods. Please don't use this blog as instructions for doing something ridiculous with your money. Middlemen can serve a purpose. That's actually the point. Use the middleman when the middleman serves you. The problem begins when you stop understanding the difference between assistance and dependence.
That's why I believe learning is a form of self-care. Learn enough about your money that you can participate in the conversation. Learn enough about investing that somebody can't hypnotize you with three financial words and a green arrow. Learn enough about crypto to understand that owning something and understanding something are two completely different achievements. Because clicking BUY isn't financial education, and neither is clicking SELL. Sometimes we're just pressing buttons with emotions attached to them.
Crypto has also reminded me how valuable creation is. Blockchain, cryptocurrency and all this digital stuff exists because somebody looked at the way something was already being done and thought, Could there be another way? Whether every idea succeeds is another story. Plenty don't. But the act of questioning the default matters to me.
That's the same energy I was talking about when I said cook something from scratch. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? One minute Bitcoin, next minute I'm making soup. Stay with me. When you cook something yourself, there's a beginning, ingredients, your decisions and an outcome. You can follow a recipe, but you can change the recipe. More garlic. Less salt. Something spicy. Something weird. Nobody sends you a verification code before you're allowed to add another onion. You create.
Crypto can encourage that same curiosity when you approach it as something to understand instead of something that's supposed to magically rescue you financially. Learn. Question. Experiment carefully. Understand your options. And most importantly, don't outsource your entire freaking brain.
Because I see the same thing happening with creators. We create something original and then immediately hand its value over to a platform to determine whether it's worthy. Views. Likes. Subscribers. Monetization requirements. Algorithms. Watch time. Click-through rates. Jump through this hoop, then that hoop, then another hoop and perhaps one day you'll earn enough from your brilliant original thought to purchase approximately three blueberries and half a grape. But before the platform existed, you created something. That's where your power started.
The same is true with your money. Before the exchange, before the wallet, before the chart, before the influencer, before Bitcoin, before crypto, there was you exchanging your energy for value. Don't forget the human being underneath the financial system.
I think that's where self-love and money finally meet. Financial independence isn't just having more money. Part of it is having enough confidence and knowledge to participate in your own decisions. It's being willing to say, “I don't understand this yet,” and then learning instead of pretending. It's recognizing when you need professional help without handing someone complete authority over your thinking. It's knowing that asking for guidance and surrendering your judgment are not the same thing.
And sometimes financial self-care is deciding not to do something. Not buying because everybody else is buying. Not selling because everybody else is panicking. Not chasing something because somebody promised you generational wealth before breakfast. Not putting money into something you don't understand simply because you're afraid everybody else is getting rich without you. Sometimes doing nothing is still a decision.
I'm learning that there are many forms of wealth. Crypto is one possibility. Traditional investments are another. A business can be an asset. Skills are assets. Knowledge is an asset. Time is an asset. Health is an asset. Relationships are assets in a completely different sense. Creativity is an asset. Peace of mind is definitely an asset, because if you've ever stared at a chart at two in the morning wondering what the hell happened to your money, you already understand the market value of peace.
Diversify more than your portfolio. Diversify your ability to live. Learn how to make something. Learn how to cook something. Learn something about your money. Learn how your investments actually work. Learn how to create. Learn how to sit quietly without somebody else's opinion immediately filling the space. Because every time you take something from beginning to end, you're reminding yourself: I am capable of directing part of my own life.
That's the part of decentralization I'm most interested in. Not just decentralizing money. Decentralizing your dependence.
And no, that doesn't mean we don't need each other. We absolutely do. The cure is conversation. I believe that. People sharing knowledge, experiences, mistakes and ideas can make us stronger. That's not the kind of middleman I'm talking about. Connection doesn't take your power away. Good connection helps you recognize it.
Maybe that's what all of this comes down to. Crypto started with a fascinating question about whether value could move differently. But maybe there's another question worth asking: Can I move through my own life differently too? Can I use systems without allowing systems to completely direct me? Can I use an exchange without letting it become my financial brain? Can I listen to somebody's opinion without turning it into my instruction manual? Can I own an investment without letting the investment own my emotions? Can I build wealth without sacrificing every other kind of wealth I already have?
That's what interests me because I don't want to spend my entire life jumping through hoops just because somebody put them in front of me. And I definitely don't want to jump through a hoop simply because somebody painted a Bitcoin logo on it.
Learn the system. Use the tools. Ask for help when you need it. Understand the risks. But keep practicing the ability to make your own informed choices. Your wallet might be digital. Your free will isn't. Somewhere underneath the exchanges, passwords, platforms, networks, charts, algorithms, influencers and people yelling “TO THE MOON” at their phones, there is still a human being trying to build a life. Don't forget to invest in that person too.
Because maybe the most important thing crypto can remind us isn't simply how to remove the middleman from money. Maybe it's to notice how many middlemen we've allowed between ourselves and ourselves.
And if somebody asks who gave you permission to start thinking about your money differently, don't say QueenB.Divine. Actually, screw that. Tell them you did.
— QueenB.Divine
The cure is conversation.
Self-love and self-care will get you there.
This is personal commentary and education, not individualized financial or investment advice. Cryptocurrency is volatile and can lose value.
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