Paper, paper on the wall
a quote paragraph

Paper, paper on the wall

By Zatrig | Zatrig | 25 Nov 2020

Today’s topic is a topic that we’ve mentioned before, talking about self-talk. Today’s topic will be wallpaper-wisdom. Those things on social media, what sometimes we love, sometimes we hate, and sometimes we are just plain bored of them.

#1 The mess/tidiness dichotomy mentioned on the thumbnail pic.

This notion is a little out-of-date, but after all relevant for me. There was a time in my life when I thought about being characteristically characterless and tidy, but only because of the distinctive patterns and features that this imagined type had in my mind. Maybe nowadays the mythic figure of the scientist or the architect can be in accordance with this or has these vibes. It comes into my mind when I feel falling apart or incompetent, but that is not about being another person or disappearing in a system, but oppositely, a competence to develop, something more realistic than tidy.
The more important dichotomy is the functional-dysfunctional one, or talking about mindsets, that section between that: do we think about what we have, or rather what we don’t have? With my husband sometimes we have to discuss this, because besides my unconditional ’stupid’ hope, I have a pessimistic mindset and low self-esteem, and he’s also very likely to go in this direction when is comes to existential issues (even though he has a wide range of practical knowledge that he nonchalantly uses every day when a problem comes by).

#2 ’It’s OK to lose your sh!t every now and then.’

Of course – but this also applies to me a little differently. I feel like I have to restrain myself more than the others because my gestures somehow don’t work like the others’. And I don’t want to be that weird, scary woman who always spreads the stress and rants all the time. without any reason, or cause. Today I also got very weird feedback from a place, where, to be honest, I don’t get surprised by so many things, but they never cease to surprise me.

#3 ’Your relationship with yourself affects all the others.’

True. In my case, it’s hard to track back, but I somehow afraid that I will have a ’too good’ picture about myself based on the thin air, and I’ll be a narcissist airhead if I don’t remind myself of my flaws all the time. It would be easy to blame it on my family background – when my mom wanted to bring me back to reality, or dumped her tiredness and issues on me -, but it also would be totally infantile at this point. We all know these things have a root in parental communication, but we are to fix it as adults.

So, well, the world is full of exercises for mind and soul.


Work experiences, stories, arts, and more in one blog! I am Sorina, or as my nickname says, Zatrig. I live in Budapest, Hungary, now listening to Trio Mandili and getting my life together.

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