Are you stressing?
Yesterday I bumped into an article on The Lily with the title: 'Are you stressing about the election?' Of course, about the USA ones, are to come on next Tuesday. Then some stressors came into my mind, and as I sat on the service-bus back to Budapest from another central town of Hungary, where we did inventory at a huge tool shop, I listed them into my phone.
So as scraping it together, I am stressing about:
- the elections - hail to globalization, since I know that it cannot stay local.
- our insider political issues. First, because it affects us, second because it won’t stay inside, we have an outstandingly harsh foreign policy too, so first it booms, then it echoes.
- Artsakh. Don’t ask, this is a long-haul issue in my life - once I found out that there is a place on the Earth called Armenia, and there are Armenians all over the world with a slight exaggeration everywhere, and then it sat in the corner of my mind like something to work with. Without any known Armenian ancestors, I even dreamed of some written text in Armenian, that now I could read – even though very slowly and not understanding what I read -, but back then it was just new for me.
And today at the borders of this country there is an unequal, one-sided war initiated by neighboring Azerbaijan (with Turkey, led by another gun-loving, Armenian-hating authoritarian regime, at its back), who demands back an area that once Stalin gave them (but there is 89% Armenian, 2% Russian and 9% Tatar people live there). Now that’s an enclave between the two countries, supported by Armenia, with no air transport (if a plane goes by, the Azeris shoot it off) and strictly guarded borders. So this issue is clearly about ego and artillery testing on the Azeri side, while they are killing a lot of civil people, children, elderly, everyone. There was a rather small, but not less unsettling affair at Tavush, inside Armenia one month ago.
So I aim not to take this on my back more than necessary, as this is something I have no to little impact on, but this is very bad news for me.
Every war and loss of innocent lives is bad news, but for some reason, this one is even worse. I pulled for Armenian people when they toppled the former government (the same one as ours – pharisaic, corrupt, nepotist, just to list three bad attributes) and set the new one, and when I heard about Gyumri, the second biggest city in Armenia with great cultural life and since the 1989 earthquake still dilapidated houses all over the town. One of my favorite musicians, Tigran Hamasyan is from there. So well, does it sound abstract or not, sometimes I do stress about Artsakh.
- my existential issues. I feel a little more competent as I found some temporary job opportunities in versatile fields, but this is an ever-living question in my life. What to live for? How to have a place in the world and not fall apart or let everyone medley in? Yet stay in touch with people and not become a hermit? Good questions, all of them is a separate new post.
- linking to the latter: competencies, bravery, strength, resilience.
- yesterday’s, then fresh, bad experience at work: I finished last and lost my scarf in the office. Even though I got a complex and big isle with versatile stuff to count and sort out, and tomorrow I’ll go with the auditing team too, so I can ask whether they found my scarf, this is distressing too.
In conclusion, there is no conclusion. Unless that stress is not something to run away from, but something to work with. And not all stressors require the same dealing.