And then when the chest filled with air gasped,
the heart said more pollen,
more weight, more wanting,
more of what poisons slowly.
So then I walked and walked,
endless, gray, forsaken songs were grinding
against the inside of my skull.
But what was more; the weight of phone on my trouser?
The tether. The lie machine.
I stopped to drop it off.
I want to be free, not for one, the cushion holding marrow
that soft prison we mistake for comfort.

it is a warm hug.
A hand I don't deserve to feel.
I walked and walked, and the thing I realized was:
I am so tired.
The more I tire, the more I go to sleep.
The more I sleep, the less I have to feel the distance
between the person I pretended to be
and the nothing I became.

And that's almost mercy.

So hopeful he never is,

https://substack.com/@karoshi1