I'll start by saying this.. I feel I am bright I understand I feel but I'm losing it we all need companionship.. If it's husband wife girlfriend boyfriend or ho and dick on the street. I urge you to love the ones you are with and cherish those who you have lost.. the mind is precious and even for a moment you leave a impact on that person's soul.. I can't begin to apologize for those I've hurt and can't feel joy for those who made me happy I'm depressed and my mind searches for answers in times there aren't any I'm. Sick need help.. and communicating on a format for people doesn't bring much joy.. it helps by all means.. I am a person who has tried to commit suicide 4 times earliest age was three years old and I'm fading fast. If it weren't for my few friends who show me happiness on this community I would have already tried for a 5th..

I've found I'm not strong enough to use a knife or gun and pills don't do the job no matter how many I take I need balance to David I'm going to meditate to fycee I'm going to remember a smile and z birthday wish and I hope I get better.. I truly don't know.. to publish0x I sit and pray for a beautiful day when I can write stories that bring hope.

 And Jenn I forgot you. Before this was published I remember the bear in the jungle and a beautiful day it brought.

I will miss our times about bit and life but hardly know if we can win the fight..

To everyone who reads I will miss reading along.. 

Till I return ,

Andrew