The reason for having been offline for two days was that I had the flu.
I am always a bit overwhelmed by the range of possibilities of what I could write about, for how long I could write about something. There is so many things to say and yet so often I was quiet to other peoples cost of comfort because everything that I ran in my head of what I could possibly say I would check for flaws. Could it be shameful? Silly? Could it be funny? What if I tried to be funny but it is not? How can I know, how can I really know what will be ok to say in everybody's eyes? So eventually I would contemplate over something people said while the conversation already went on to a total other topic. I would still wonder what I could have said in order to participate and behave normal. But eventually, I would play various scenarios in my mind while I would not say a word at all after all. And it is funny that I even feel that a little bit when I write. I always thought this was normal and I was just talented in considering for too long and not figuring out the right thing to say as quick as others did. But so let me just go back to that old restaurant I talked about earlier.
The owner has a talent that I do lack a bit. She is passionate about what she is passionate about and if she sees struggle in the world, issues with other humans concerning her ideas and visions, money, or just a general friction in the energies of the place she would run, she stayed passionate and positive. to blame was bad joojoo, some negative constellation in the stars. But it wouldn't make her stop doing the things she was doing the way she was doing them. Now I am a bit more the opposite. I could have thought out the best thing possible, but a snail would fall of a tree and make a sound at the moment I would go for whatever my idea was, and I would start to hesitate. Because, well, maybe I wasn't ready, maybe it is not meant to be, maybe it is silly. I could see signs in things that might not be signs. But nevertheless would I give in and let go of the idea. But yet, I would still stay and do this, whatever it was what I was doing.
Eventually we met a friend of the owner who was owning a hotel herself but in a quiet different place. Instead of being a new-age hip restaurant in an urban tourist area she would have her place on a lake, surrounded by nothing but nature and a handful of tourists might land here, but it was classy, clean, organized and proper. She was in a lot of pain so we decided to come stay here for a while and help her. We were now in the middle of the jungle. Far off the civilization. No wifi, no electricity, no TV. No AC, no tuktuks. Just me, my two buddies and the jungle. We would stay for about a week. She gave us a room to stay in and it was wonderful. Open walls, a roof out of leaves, animals all over the place. At night, you could hear the monkeys scream their songs into the night. During the day you would hear a mixture of birds. Ancient ruins were all around this place and in front of us a massive lake with a crocodile called rosco. Rosco had only one eye left and only after a few rocks that I threw towards him and saw him move I realized that he was real. I hope he didn't loose his first eye this way... We would stay here because we were hoping to get break from the work and all the heat on the island we lived on. And the universe, after some days, seemed to have had the same intention for us and so we left to stay in peace for a week in the jungle. It was fantastic. And as usual, one would get used to it after some days, get into a routine, and as I am, I soon would look forward to change again. Some people can stay in the same place and I envy the consistency of some indeed. But then, others might envy my adaptivity and flexibility and eventually we just all have our gifts and lacks. I explored a pyramid right next door and the next time we would visit, we would stay in the haunted house in which her maids would never like to go and clean, because there is spirits. There we go, an adventure. And I would encounter some dark moments there. But for now we would enjoy the time and I must say, it was an amazing break. I was looking for relics, sleeping in, enjoying the quietness and I started to remember how wonderful life is without wifi. I would go to bed at time and wake up fresh. Well, unless the monkeys had an early party. It would be a good place for introspection and would soon be one for a period. Food we had enough because thankfully they invited us for meals every day.
We are truly blessed. This was an amazing gift and I am still thankful for that wonderful experience. It is amazing how our lifestyle still made sure we would have everything we needed. At times it would be hard, but only to make us grow. At times it would be too soft, in order to make us move again. All in all, the experiences like this, with Rosco and the monkeys, it was magic and I don't know if it could have been the same if we would have paid with money, like the usual way. Because it was an invitation, we had no high expectations but a lot of gratitude, and that tweeks such an experience to a very high level.