Crypto TV Shows I Would Watch (But Don't Exist)

Crypto TV Shows I Would Watch (But Don't Exist)

By Vanina | Blockchain Royalty | 16 Dec 2020


I watch a lot of TV. Well, I mostly stream stuff because I tend to lose my TV remote for months at a time. 

My guilty pleasure are trash reality shows like “Toddlers and Tiaras”, “House Hunters International”, “Property Brothers”, etc. I thoroughly enjoy sitcoms and watch dramas about lawyers, journalists, doctors and cops — these seem to be the most dramatic professions our there, judging by the amount of screen time they get.

But the world of blockchain and crypto is just as melodramatic, dynamic and TV-worthy. Why aren’t there more series to showcase the everyday struggles and joys of this exciting ecosystem of ours?!

I may be biased but the truth is, there’s a lot of screen time potential in the worlds of Bitcoin, Ethereum, DAOs and so on. Here are some reality show’s I’d kill to watch.

Keeping Up with Ethereum

A show hosted by Kanye West where people involved in Ethereum tweet at each other random offences and try to figure out whose views are more correct. They look into each other dApps’ code and try to find vulnerabilities and signs of failure to win the twitter war and establish dominance.

The plot twist is that Kanye is the most mentally stable one of all.

The Real Housewives of Ethereum

The females involved in Ethereum organize meetups for women in Ethereum where they discuss how to get more women in Ethereum and also gossip a lot. Light to medium shaming for various reasons is encouraged. Heavy objects are thrown at people at random.

I’m a Bitcoin Maxi, Get Me Out of Here

A televised contest in which bitcoin maximalists attend Ethereum meetups and engage in mindfuckery. The goal is keep their cover intact for as long as they can and once it’s blown, they’re helicoptered out through the window to save their lives while a pack of ETH maxis chase them.

Toddlers and Metamask

Experienced crypto users explain blockchain and cryptocurrency to children of under 8 and people of over 50. The ensure the education is complete, the children/elderly must complete 3 operations within Metamask and one of them is transferring crypto to the person teaching them.

Plot twist: none of them succeed, ever; 50% of the elderly order physical bitcoin coins off eBay thinking it’s the real thing.

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Crypto Survivor

A bunch of crypto enthusiasts is dropped on a tropical island with limited food and water supply. To get off the island, they need to find the hidden pieces of a wallet private key and piece them together to access it. A “treasure map” is given to them to help them out.

At the end of the first season they all die because for some reason crypto people are allergic to working together. The show gets cancelled. Vitalik somehow accesses the wallet.

Ethereum Idol

A tv show designed to showcase the talents of the people in the Ethereum community. Instead of singing, dancing or performing tricks, they reenact hot memes or yell “ETH IS MONEY!!!!” from the stage.

BUIDLing with the Stars

Non-developers look at the Github repos of BUIDLers in blockchain, do a live commentary and determine the viability of a project based on the number of active developers and the number of commits within a given period. Non-dev viewers submit comments and opinions via Telegram.

90-Day Hodler

A bunch of crypto aficionados create bags of shitcoins and are then required for 90 days. At the end of this period, they decide if they are keeping the tokens or ̶s̶e̶n̶d̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶f̶i̶a̶n̶c̶é̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶i̶r̶ ̶h̶o̶m̶e̶ ̶c̶o̶u̶n̶t̶r̶y̶ selling the coins at a monstrous loss. To win, participants are required to retain at least 12% of their sanity.

 

Of course, blockchain is a community ordeal, so this piece won’t go without input from the community. Twitter user @omynuts took things outside the reality tv realm and came up with a number of shows that sound awesome. Here they are:

Of course, my favourite is Breaking BAT because — well, I work at AdEx Network, you do the math.

Want to add your suggestions to this post? Shoot me a tweet or leave a comment!

 

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Vanina
Vanina

Shitcoiner. Blockchain royalty. Have no idea what I'm doing.


Blockchain Royalty
Blockchain Royalty

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