Life Is Not Fair?

By Larszig | Larszig | 10 Mar 2021


Life is easy, why do we make it so hard?

I wasn’t really sure of where I saw that phrase. Upon reading it, I pause for a bit and think, then ask myself that question. 

Sometimes I was like this or I must say when I was younger I really was. I always thought about how I will survive in the future. It seemed that the present was really a complicated thing for me. I don’t know if there was anything wrong with that because sometimes I looked at myself as a loser.

Maybe I was just having a low self-esteem or lack of self confidence. I am an introverted person and often I just need a little push to keep going. But that does not mean that I always depend on something or I don’t do things on my own.

I grew up in a small town in the province, but the place is now a congested city. Life back then was hard. I can say that it was hard when I saw it as a child. 

My parents have to work really hard to feed 5 kids with a 2 years age gap in between. We don’t own a house. My mother lives in a smaller town. She sold her share of a small piece of land after my father married her. They decided to live and raise their kids in a much larger place where it was easy to find job opportunity. 

I saw how they strive to survive in a world of cruelties surrounding them. From issues with their families up to dealing with people they met. It seems that their whole life was full of struggles and challenges. They didn’t finish high school that’s why they were very much determined to have their kids have a good education. Adding up the torture from my mothers siblings, that my parents were not able to send their child to school not even one. 

As a child I wanted to just vanish so as not to feel and witness the struggles our family has come across. I envy those rich kids going to exclusive schools.  I sometimes hear my mother saying they will send us to exclusive school someday. Even if I knew that it was not possible, I felt great expectation that someday somehow me and my siblings are no longer poor.

Somehow I managed to finish college and earned a bachelor's degree in our local university. Student’s there are known as “Scholar ng Bayan”. The etymology of the phrase was unknown. It means that the university is public and the tuition fee is low so the students are most likely scholars of the government.

Fourteen years of study, from grade school up to college was like fourteen years of battle. I called it battle, for want of a better term, because every day is a struggle. From walking to and from school, up to expenses in school projects and things. Sometimes I have to skip class because of transport fare issues during college. 

There were times that one of my siblings had to stop schooling just to let the other one finish first. Unfortunately they did not. Leaving school and choosing not to continue was the most disappointment my mother has felt. It was like a downfall. Her hopes of having raised from poverty just went without warning.

Upon graduation I went to Manila to find a job suitable for my chosen career.  My brother who was working in a printing press offered me a freelance job while I was looking for a decent job. 

Unfortunately I got stuck in the press for so long that i wasn’t able to pursue my career. I just found out one day that I was in that industry for so long that I don't see any changes with my life. I didn’t even have a car, a house or bank account ten years after graduation. 

Jealousy attacks again when I saw some of my schoolmates and friends posting their success on social media. Some have bought their own house or cars or even the promotion of being the highest position in their office firm. 

I asked myself again. What is wrong with me? Is life really not fair? Is life really that hard that I can not get to the top as the successful ones do? I earned a bachelor's degree. I even have a license to teach. How come that I am not successful after all?

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Now here I am, trying hard to earn money by writing anything that comes into my mind. I don't have a house or a car, just got a bike, at least I have saved a little for this manual machine.  

Somehow in this lifetime I have experienced meeting different people of different races and traditions. I got the opportunity to work overseas or should I say, seeing the other side of the world was already a success. Touching the lands and water from the other side of the world was a privilege.

I have a beautiful wife and two very smart kids who are bringing home the bacon at the end of every school year. I am working at a BPO industry as an Analyst. It’s funny that what I do now is really far from my chosen career. But I am having a good time and enjoying it so far and thus considering it a success. 

Life is easy and more importantly life is fair. It is all just a matter of time. You may think that today is rough but for sure the coming days will be better than today.

You may not have the most expensive car and big house or even wear the most expensive dress. It is still you, when you look at the mirror, it doesn’t change you. These are all things that make life hard and they will fade eventually. It just complicates our lives. The more we complicate our lives the more we disconnect everything from ourselves. We are more dependent on money than we depend on ourselves. So whatever you do, choose to be easy. Choose to be happy. Live a  simple life, that will make life easy.

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Larszig
Larszig

Enthusiast, Small time blogger, introvert, Learner, follower.


Larszig
Larszig

The silent space between thoughts.

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