The journey of me becoming a Father is just beginning and I feel as though I need to get my feelings out somehow. My fiance and I found out she was pregnant about 5&1/2 months ago. When I found out, I was in a state of disbelief, I was scared. I won't lie, we probably had one of the toughest years of our lives this year. Long story short, about 7 months ago we were uprooted from our living situation. We ended up moving from TN to MO because we could at least afford hotels in this state & slowly build back up until we had a comfortable life. After finding out my wife was pregnant a month or so into homelessness, all I could focus on was everything I didn't have and how unprepared I was to be a father. When we went to see our first ultrasound I think our baby Oslo was about the size of an unshelled peanut lol, I remember mainly being there for my fiance but I felt distracted, I was pretty much just tunnel vision on getting into our own place & working as much as I possibly could without exhausting myself. I could tell she knew I was stressed & not really there feeling what she was feeling the first time we saw our baby. I'm thankful she is understanding because I felt bad, I wanted her to have that picture perfect moment, where she knew I was excited and we were both giddy, but I couldn't when the time came. I'm going to skip all of the bullshit from the past 6 months & skip ahead to where we are today. At least being distracted with doubt & uncertainty motivated me to work harder & longer than I think I've worked before. We put a deposit on a house last month & moved in a week later. My fiance is finally nesting and comfortable and it feels amazing to see her relaxed. Neither of us is afraid of our situation jeopardizing the health of our baby now and we can finally breathe, knowing we have our own house to start a family in. Skip to today, it's now our third time going in together for her ultrasound, we were antsy with anticipation for this one because we were finding out the sex of the baby this time. When we got in the room and the ultrasound began something was different this time than every time before, I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Our child had grown an entire spine since the last time we saw them & they had little hands and feet. I saw their face and watched them punching and kicking inside the womb..I cried like a baby. I'm in awe at how one look at my baby's face completely melted me today. I've never felt a more overwhelming & unexplainable love in my entire life. All I've spent the day thinking about since the ultrasound is how much fun I'm going to have with my little partner in crime, how our son is going to have family, and friends, and opportunities that we've never had, all I can think about is how I want to be a great husband and father. Life seemed so small before, and now it seems like I'm stepping out into the world for the first time ready for anything thrown at me. My son is going to change my life, they will teach me more than I could probably ever teach them, and I'm just grateful to have this opportunity. They have already changed me for the better. This is my first blog post about joining fatherhood, and there will be many more to come I'm sure. Thanks for reading & getting to know me ✌️