Musk v Zuck: Battle of Titans

By RomulusNRemus | timewellspent | 6 Aug 2023

Two Titans of Industry battle toe to toe to in a global battle of mythic proportions to settle once and for all......who has the bigger ego?


Truth may truly be stranger than fiction.

In a headline ripped from the yellow journalism days of 1920s America, two titans of industry are apparently seriously considering the idea of a cage-match in order to settle some as-yet-unspecified grievance regarding......their technocratic visions for the future?

I think this entire spat is an ego-fueled temper tantrum slap fight between two man-child's who have never fully grown up because they're both brilliant and incredibly wealthy.

I also think this may be the greatest pay-per-view fight opportunity in the history of the world.  Let's talk about how this rumor even came about, how real it may be, and how or when this could go down.  

The Story So Far:

As it happened, Elon was being Elon and lurking on X/Twitter looking to rile up people or troll or some clowns and somehow decided to start this tweet trend basically it seems because Zuck went and poached a ton of his fired engineers/staff from his Twitter restructure and used their knowledge (and possibly Elon's newly purchased intellectual property) to create a newer, "better" twitter called Threads.  Thus, this challenge and answer.


Proposed Fight:

Are You Not Entertained?  Apparently Dana White is totally on board to host/run this massive spectator event and have been had talks about doing the fight in the Colosseum......which honestly, would be pretty frickin' cool.



Zuck has been making waves with his newly shredded physique, dedication to BJJ, hours upon hours of weekly training, and recently earning his first tournament win.  Not gonna lie, guy looks like he can throw and take a punch.......can't really say the same about Musk right now.


Calling the Fight:

Undoubtably Joe Rogan would be one of the ringside callers of this fight, but if its up to me, let's review the fighters


One of these certainly looks more serious than the others.....


Zuck has youth on his side, definitely more recent fight experience, but Musk does have some MMA background and the extra height and weigh cannot be underestimated in a cage match like this.  It really could be a toss up if he took it seriously and trained hard for four months or so say.....New Year's Day fight in Rome as the clock strikes midnight.



The only scrap of upside to this outrageous but somehow appropriate sign of the times is that gajillion dollars it will make for whoever hosts it, and that both Elon and Mark have pledged all proceeds they would be due to charity.  So all in all, wouldn't be a terrible outcome other than a bit embarrassing for grown men to conduct themselves.  Though honestly?  Can't wait.


As always, hope your time was wellspent


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