How Much Bullshit Actually Hides in the Governance of Big Banks?

Breaking Down the Banks:

• Three of the United States largest banks were selected:  JP Morgan, Wells Fargo and Bank of America. 
• A Corporate Governance document was selected from each bank at random based on availability and relevance.
  • Synopsis:
    • Simply put, corporate governance is the mechanisms, processes and relations by which corporations are controlled and operated.  For instance, the framework establishing a bank's Board of Directors, such as its criteria, functions, operations and its overall performance would be a part of the bank's corporate governance principles. 
    • Other documents within a corporation's governance might include directives on the overall management of the company, privacy and security policies, corporate by-laws and certificates of incorporation.  So in other words, the governance makes up the core of the organization's principles and, generally speaking, their rules, regulations, as well as current and future plans for the business. 
    • When it comes to most large companies, particularly those required to operate with transparency to the public, (i.e. their customers, investors and potential future client Joe Blow), multi-trillion dollar financial institutions like the aforementioned banks above, provide these documents for viewing on their respective corporate websites.
• Use an A.I. "bullshit meter" on each bank's governance document, and see how much is detected. 

Experiment's Primary Tool:

• Compare the bullshit levels of Big Bank's Corporate Governance with that of the Bitcoin Whitepaper.
• The A.I. tool being used to detect "bullshit" is called BlaBlaMeter.
  • This service will take any text it is given to analyze and score it with a "Bullshit Index"
  • It will analyze up to 15,000 characters of text (about 2300-2500 words is typical)

Documents Analyzed & The Results:

• JP Morgan Code of Conduct. 
  • The BlaBlaMeter Score:
    • Your text: 15000 characters, 2395 words
    • Bullshit Index :0.39
    • Your text shows indications of 'bullshit'-English. It's still ok for PR or advertising purposes, but more critical audiences may be skeptical.
• Wells Fargo Code of Conduct. 
  • The BlaBlaMeter Score:
    • Your text: 15000 characters, 2300 words
    •  Bullshit Index :0.5
    •  Something's fishy. Obviously you want to sell something, or you're trying to impress somebody. Are you sure that you have a real message, and if so: who would understand it?
• Bank of America Bylaws.
  • The BlaBlaMeter Score:
    • Your text: 15000 characters, 2464 words
    • Bullshit Index :0.31
    •  Your text shows indications of 'bullshit'-English. It's still ok for PR or advertising purposes, but more critical audiences may be skeptical.
• Bitcoin Whitepaper.
  • The BlaBlaMeterScore:
    • Your text: 15000 characters, 2537 words
    •  Bullshit Index :0.21
    •  Your text shows some indications of 'bullshit'-English, but is still within an acceptable range.

The Results Are In:

Bitcoin comes in first place with the Whitepaper scoring the least amount of Bullshit.

I think JP Morgan and Wells Fargo should both have added Bullshit points. 

Look at the second page on both these Code of Conduct Documents:

So, questions... putting Jamie Dimon's face on page two, pretty much leading off the whole document, that is an intentional marketing strategy of some kind? Is that supposed to promote public trust or just reassure brainwashed investors and the goblins that make up the Board of Directors that everything is "status quo"?  Who sees that and thinks, "Wow I trust that guy.  He definitely doesn't look like someone who bulldozed down several homeless shelters with the inhabitants still inside to get where he is today." I mean, what could be classified as more of a pile of bullshit than that? And I don't know who that other lunatic is, but anyone with a signature that large, clearly exhibiting a scrimshaw-like scatterbrained style, in line with that of a crew member aboard Blackbeard's "Queen Anne's Revenge", certainly isn't winning any "Fiduciary Responsibility" trophies at my award show.  Invite that guy over for Thanksgiving you better hide the silverware and take down the chandeliers, if you don't want that swashbuckler swinging from them when he's scrambling for the exit after he steals your momma's spoons.   

Avast ye Matey.

It's not as though the results of the bullshit experiment are very surprising, but it definitely brings a smile to my face knowing what side has less of it.  One thing I did learn, it seems that just about ANY document that contains information about financial concepts of some kind, has a certain level of bullshit in it.