January 2018
What a time to be alive! A $14,000 Bitcoin! Are you kidding me!? What a steal! This is not financial advice but...I'm buying the dip, baby! Yes, I live in my parents house and ride a scooter to work. No, not an electric one...That's why I'm buying the dip! Each week I'm pouring my whole $200 paycheck into the market. Don't tell my parents tho...They think I'm saving up and using the money to go back to school. It won't matter soon when BTC is 100k, am I right?!
March 2018
Pinch me! I'm dreaming! $8,700 Bitcoin! I recently lost my job because I couldn't get a ride to work. What happened to my scooter? One of the wheels popped off. I didn't have enough money to fix it or buy a new one. You know why! Cuz I was buying that dip, baby! It's okay. Mom and pops said they could help me out so I could "keep going to school." Don't tell them I'm using the money to buy Bitcoin. I'll pay them back. When BTC hits 20k again I'll take some profits for them.
November 2018
$6000 Bitcoin...If I wasn't homeless and broke I would go all in on that! Why am I homeless? Weeeeell...They found out. They asked me how school was going and I replied: "It's going great! I'm not buying Bitcoin with the money you're giving me." Pops figured it out before I finished that sentence. It's okay tho! You know what I'm doing! I'm STILL buying that sweet dip, baby! I'm holding up a sign at the intersection that says: 'I won't lie. Need money to buy Bitcoin." This guy called Elong Must or something like that actually gave me a hundred dollar bill. When BTC hits 10k I'm gonna find that guy...I'm gonna find him and show him money like he's never seen before...
Thankyou for reading! I am the Bear Market Comedian. BMC, Monday through Sunday. Feel free to follow, comment, and leave a free tip for me and you! Until next time, I'll see you soon!
