So I know, I didnt write since I was in the stationary clinical treatment but I had so many stuff to take care off and then suddenly nothing.
The treatment helped really well and I just can encourage anybody that has to suffer from mental problems to go out there and get help. My head told me over years that I'm not worth a thing, that I should jump on the street and end this lousy life. I never did because I knew I would ruin my mum's and my grandma's life with that so I numbed myself everyday with Cannabis or alcohol. But as every rational thinking person knows this just hides your problems under a numb blanket which isn't there anymore everytime you get sober and the pain starts again... My condition is treatable with behavioural therapy, my depression was just a result of my disorders (even though I thought that I just suffered from depression). The good news about this, I mean for me, is that I don't have to take a bunch of antidepressants like some of my fellow patients during the stationary treatment. I just take a mood stabilizer a day. The reason I didnt write for so long was that I fell in love in the clinic and I was really happy for the first time in 7 years. It didnt end well, because 2 people with mental issues can function, but it takes a lot of time, energy and understanding on both sites. I gave everything I could, but it wasnt enough...
After that I needed time for myself, but I would love to start writing about the serious things in life. At the moment I'm still looking for a therapist to work on my disorders, but I'm staying strong at the moment thanks to friends and family. I really like to write and talk about these kind of things because I still feel that depression or mental disorders are still a little bit of a taboo topic, but it is so important to talk about it. You can't heal if you just eat everything up and in these dark pandemic times everybody needs a chance to be heard. So if you want to talk about your problems or have question just feel free to write in the comments. I'm back =)
Have a great week!