Letter To My Son The last Part

And that was exactly what happened, you did not come back to Spain when your Visa expired. Why did she not tell me this might happen?

I mean yes I could have legally stopped her from taking you out of Spain and I can even file for international child abduction. But why would I, in all these years I have done everything that I thought would be in your best interest. I would even agree with things I do not think are in your best interest but are things you want to do.

So why so secretive?

I mean you are almost 18 so why would I mess up your plans for these last couple of months? Secondly, if I don´t make a fuss about you being without your mom for over 3 months when you were 16 why would I make a problem of this now?

I might not agree with it, just as I was not happy with her leaving you alone when she went to the US for 3 months, but she has the custody. She sees you every day, she knows best what you can and can not handle.

But okay, some things I might never understand, and in the bigger scheme of things they do not matter. I would have told you to do what you think is best, but that if you would ask me to finish your last year of school first.

Now here we are, or better there you are and I am still here.

Here and very curious as to how this is going to play out.

Very curious about what your plans are right now.

You are not big on phone calls and the last time we spoke you might go to a school in Tennessee if you got your green card and if the school would have you.

I also know that you would not mind working for a while, preferably in a kitchen. That love for cooking has been there like always, I remember how you made your carrot fritter cakes with your signature sauce back when you were 5 years old.

There is always work in kitchens all over the world, I would not be surprised if you used your cooking skills to pay for a trip around the world.

Whatever you choose to do as a next step, you now have the time to think about it while waiting on your green card. Because as I understand it, you are advised not to leave the USA till that is sorted.

And it probably will get sorted because they might have built a wall on the Mexican border, they do very little to stop European immigrants as far as I know.

Although the thought of you living there gives me mixed feelings, I would love you to enjoy the land of opportunities but as a dad and the one paying the bills, I know that health care and education are crazy expensive over there.

As another wise man said multiple times in an old movie:
Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you´re gonna get.

And he was right, I did not expect to end up in the south of Spain and you probably did not foresee now being stuck in Trump country.

I can´t help but wonder if your moving over there is sort of Karma for me moving away from my parents?

But they respected my choice, and I respect your choice and I think that is what it comes down to being a parent.

Be a soundboard, voice your point of view, but respect your kids' final decision. Because you will need to learn your lessons your way, just like I had to learn mine.

And so far you have done an amazing job, after 18 years I can only say I am very proud of who you are today and that I love you a lot.

And so does Patito he says:

So let me just share a couple more pics and fun moments

First Christmas

You Still Bring Mom Flowers?

Cool in a weird way or weird in a cool way?

Last Picture I took before you left for the US. You took rode all night on a bus to visit your dad. And when you arrived this happened.

And let me end with this one:

That was you when we first arrived in Spain, sitting on the top of our car before getting a clean diaper.

Your mom wanted to turn this into a T-Shirt I think...but this is how you always be to me and I hope that I will always be Pappy Chullo to you.

As you probably guessed the previous part was from a couple of months ago, today is your actual 18th Birthday even in Tennessee it must be the 21st of October. So Congrats My Son. I hope you enjoyed this weird, sort of letter. 

It´s my gift to you and maybe now is not the right time, but this will always be here online for you to look back at your dad looking back on those first 18 years together. And even now we are apart I feel that we will have a lot of awesome moments in the next 18 years.

Nobody knows where this ever-winding road will take us, it took me to Spain and you to Tennessee and to stay near your new redneck roots this one might be appropriate.

It does not really matter where we go or what we do, I know me and I know you. We are what we are and that will not change, we will just grow older while the memories remain!

And a little voice inside me tells me that you and I have plenty of adventures ahead, so let's see if that voice is speaking the truth or if it´s just an old dad's idle hope.

Anyway we have made it so far, you are a young man in what used to be the land of opportunities and I hope it still is for you. You got your work permit and wanted to work at Starbucks or a Place called Dutch Bro´s:

The latter sounds quite fitting, so it might just be the right place to kick off your career. 

Just FYI your dad did a million different jobs and I almost liked every single one of them, so that is the only advice I can give you. Make sure you enjoy your job and follow your heart. If the fun is gone make sure you are on your way out as well. It does not matter what you do, you are not your job. Even though in the US lots of people think they are.

Another piece of advice I want to give you early on is to start investing some savings and make sure you never run up any bad debt like credit cards and car loans. Try to have some dollars left at the end of the month instead of days. And use half of those dollars to enjoy yourself and put the other half into an investment, a stock fund or maybe even Ethereum. It´s a lesson I learned to late in life, but investing a bit of money early on in life can lead to big things.

Read up about finance, or just watch the right people on YouTube or whatever is the hip go-to place in the States. But the earlier you get into that stuff the earlier you can do whatever you want without having to watch a budget 24/7.

I don´t have many lessons to teach you, and I know you were always better at holding on to your money than I was, but still I wish someone told me that when I was your age. And secretly I wish that my dad would have written me a letter when I turned 18.

All this stuff might come too early, I mean you are an adventurer with the world at his feet what do the words of an almost Boomer dad matter? SO you can just put them aside, or just take to heart those little pieces that fit you right now.

But trust me on the finance thing and wear sunscreen.

Life will give you just as many challenges as it will give you lessons or maybe it is the other way around.

Ask, just ask

Maybe it´s better to wait till you ask me for advice, but then again I did not ask my parents for actual help till it was way too late. And still, I turned out pretty okayish. But please know that I will always be there if you have a question, if you have doubt, if you need help. I will have your back, just like my weird dad tried to have mine. That´s what dads are for.

How can I try to explain.....

Maybe one day you will be a daddy too and I wish a son like you upon you. I hope that you will be looking back after 18 years knowing you did it better than your dad did. I think I did it better than mine did. Progress comes in little steps, every generation we do it a bit better. We stumble, we fall, we get up, we keep going.

It´s been a year

Before this year you used to come to Granada to celebrate with your mates, today I realize I have not seen you for a whole year.

That´s a first; but it´s okay. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.

You told me several times that you like your life better over there than here in Spain, that you made many new friends, and even though you are near  Hicksville, Tennessee surrounded by yokels life is more modern there than in Spain, guess I have to take your word for that. Because that is all that matters, and as a real old fellow I keep repeating that over and over again.

Your happiness is all that matters, because if you would ask me what the meaning of life is I would quote a very wise man named @Edje: "Life is all about increasing your happiness," and he was right. Because if you are happy it will affect those around you. And they in their turn affect the people around them and when you bump into those people it will increase your happiness again....karma is not always a bitch.

So that is probably the last advice I will give you, don´t pursue happiness, but understand what makes you happy and ensure that is what your life revolves around.

To cut a long story even longer is my style and part of me does not want to end this letter. Part of me wants to drown in these memories because I miss you, and this makes me feel like we are together again. 

If I hear those whining Spanish kids here in the communidad I always wonder ....... were you so special or did your mom and me do a wonderful job parenting you? You hardly ever whined, I never had to punish you, I don´t think I ever screamed at you ....well maybe that time you hit my hand with our wooden swords 🫣

I don´t think you are normal, my mom screamed at me, punished me, sent me to my room, did those things happen when I was not there? Maybe, but I find it hard to imagine. Maybe you are more like your mom and you will start to rebel at 27 years old?

IDK, and it does not really matter. What I wanted to say was everything I wrote down so far and probably much more that I will remember in the years after sending you this never-ending letter.

My child arrived just the other day
He came to the world in the usual way
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay
He learned to walk while I was away
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew
He'd say "I'm gonna be like you, dad"
"You know I'm gonna be like you"

I've long since retired, my son's moved away
I called him up just the other day
I said, I'd like to see you if you don't mind
He said, I'd love to, dad, if I can find the time
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kids have the flu
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad
It's been sure nice talking to you
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me
He'd grown up just like me
My boy was just like me

I know all old people say that life passes by so fast if you don´t watch out, maybe I am not old enough or maybe I just made so many memories that I will never lose unless I forget that I wrote them down here.

Let´s never forget even if it takes another 5 years before we will do tapas again, go bowling, watch a movie, go to a cosplay thingy, or you beat me playing MTG. These memories I have now entrusted to the WWW so they can not be forgotten. Maybe I can add a little chapter each year, that sounds like a plan to me.

Well I will call you in a bit to congratulate you in person on this huge step from a boy into a man, I hope I don´t go all emotional on you then as I sometimes did in this letter. But I am a proud Dad Kyrian-Elijah a very happy and proud Dad to have a son like you.

The End (For Now)