“Now listen, you may just think of me as just an old Jamaican courier”, the sprightly old man told the young lady, as he sat on the glaukos blue veranda. The sea salt taste in the air, from the blue rolling waves that glided across the white beach.

The courier got comfortable and pulled out his handkerchief, and wiped his slightly moist forehead, before tucking it in his back pocket.

“I don’t suppose you could spare a glass of lemonade, miss” He said with wry smile and a twinkle in his eye.

The lady put her slender hands into her torn jean pockets, and exhaled with a polite smile “Sure, but I do need to unpack everything quickly and then get going“.

He leaned against the slightly chipped balustrade lackadaisically, “now, now” he said “there’s no need to rush”.

She came back and handed him a cool big glass of lemonade with fresh lemons and two big ice-cubs, that bobbed around the pale yellow liquid, and took a seat in the swing chair opposite him.

He took the glass gladly and took a deep gulp, “You kids are always in a rush to get places“. He looked her over, “Now I bet you’re going to a party”.

Pushing a loose hair behind her ear she nodded “yes actually, a welcome party”.

He blew out a long breath “I like parties” He closed his eyes and got more comfortable. The lady not even sure if it was possible, hoped this wouldn’t take too long, she would just humour the poor old man, he was probably lonely.

“Let me tell you a story about one of the most legendary parties ever, so legendary that it is still discussed to this day.”

---

“Maaaaan, what are we going to DO today, eh?” Krotos said excitedly.

Cesues, sat against a tree adjusted his hoof in the short grass to get more comfortable, whilst keeping his eyes fixed on his book.

“Not’in, I got to study” he replied evenly.

 A soft warm breeze blew through the glade gently swaying the trees, allowing additional beams of sunlight to descend onto the forest floor. Cesues was enjoying that particular feeling you get in the summer when there is no rush to do anything, the world seems slow and calm, with the sound of the trickle of running water into a pond, relaxes you at a primordial level.

Krotos exhaled loudly through his snub nose, pulling up little blades of grass as he looked around.

“Come on, man, its the perfect day for a toga party, or a garden party, or a.. a fancy dress party” he ventured, “everyone likes getting dressed up, and those cheeky mares always dress so sexy”  he continued to no response.

“You can’t deprive the world of our awesomeness” Cesues  said.

He started looking around for something that might be able to help his friend out of his stupor. Suddenly a mischievous sparkle came into his eye, followed by a big grin.

“a pool party” he said decisively.

“Yup”, was the indifferent reply.

“Dude, that’s it!”, Krotos said excitedly, jumping up from his haunches.

“We should organize a pool party we can invite all the hottest nymphs” he started pacing up and down absentmindedly moving his hand up and down his flute.

“Uuuhm” the lady interrupted.

“What?!” the courier replied innocently.

“Nothing” She cleared her throat. ”please continue”

Ceseus shivering, dug his head deeper into his book. “Put your blinkers on and focus,” he thought to himself as he did his best to keep his eyes on the text in front of him.

He found himself re-reading the same sentence again and again and again, he tried using his index finger.

“These odd objects are small celestial bodies in an unstable orbit around the Sun, passing between Neptune and Jupiter”. The soft trickle of water cascading down the rocks down into the little pond, turned from a relaxing bubble, it a thunderous tumult in his ears, as he tried his best to concentrate.

He felt Krotos’s presence far too close, his heavy breathing  was distinctly audible and now the tree was definitely moving as Kroto’s lent against the quaking aspen. Krotos’ was squeezing his kollops in his hand.

“Excuse me!” she exclaimed.

“What now?!” The old man looked surprised, and a little annoyed “It’s very rude to keep interrupting at this rate I’ll never finish the story”.

“I’m sorry”, she said, thinking that the sooner he’d finished his silly story the sooner she’d have her things in her house and the sooner she could go. “I promise no more interruptions”

“Well ok then”, he said resolutely. “you’re messing up the flow, and you miss all the good exciting parts”. “Now where was I?” He said looking slightly lost.

“Kroto’s was playing with his bollocks” she helped,

“Ah yes” the man said with a smile.

In a flash Ceseus, was on all fours, had grabbed Kroto around the throat and pushed him up against the tree. His nostrils flaring, seeming to lose control of his faculties he neighed loudly

“Shut up!”, his teeth chattered  “Why, you always like dis, you eat my ears with your prattle”

Unseen birds shocked by the sudden outburst flew from  the canopy and all was deadly still for a moment.

Kroto’s was use to Ceseus quick temper, he was actually one of the calmest centaurs he had ever known and that’s saying something as everyone knows Centaurs are famous for being quick to anger.

“Aaah, that explains a lot” the lady said with a smile on her face, the man looked up at her quizzically as if it had been completely obvious from the start as he continued.

A small drop of sweat  began to fall from Kroto’s brow, and made its way slowly past his cheek toward his chin and from the corner of his eye he peered at the droplet as it hung on for dear life.

The tension could be smelt in the air, and just then it fell with a plop on Cesues hand. Kroto made a face for Cesues to look down and he instantly backed off into a trot, giving Kroto a chance to compose himself.

“Oh! For goodness sake” Cesues whinnied.

“It’s not my fault I’m like this, blame the gods, Kroto’s said. As he pointed with both hands straight down at his permanent, exaggerated erection.

A fit of laughter exploded from the other side of the pond, as the commotion, had evidently attracted a  group of Pi Lambda Phi’s. “Loo-s-s-sers!”, shouted the large Chadmus. He was  one of the largest draft centaurs in the region and was rumoured to be scouted for the games in Olympia next year.

He thought he was soooo cool and so obviously Cesues thought he was a complete mule head.

Cesues, had been through this before and had learned it was easier just to let them have their fun and then they’d get bored and leave him alone.

He found himself starting to breath more heavily, the shame growing inside , even though he had nothing to be ashamed about. His shame was turning into panic as his eyes searched, darting at all the grinning faces looking at him. A cacophony of giggles, heckles and jeers that grew louder and louder..and then nothing, just quiet.

He had caught the eye of the foreign exchange student, who was looking back at him. Just smiling not maliciously, just those kind eyes peering at him.

He had somehow found a mustang in the harras. it took his breath away and with that he was able to refocus.  They locked eyes for what seemed like forever, bla bla bla, ya da ya da ya da he felt his heart in his chest etc etc..you know how it is when you’ve been struck by cupid’s arrow, the usual.

Anyway emboldened by Chadmus, some of the others began to join in “dweebs!”, “nerds!”,

Cesues at this point couldn’t hear the jeering.  Kroto’s on the other hand could and he had his limits, and he’d reached his when Chadman’s girlfriend took a prod at them.

“O M G, look at these total, misdirected mating freaks”.

Kroto’s wicked tongue unleased. “fuck you Jenny, we all know your mother’s a mule”.

The words rang out and the forest once again went quiet, everyone held their breath, including all the little woodland creatures in the undergrowth.

There was some movement in the undergrowth and a small fat hedgehog, popped his head out with a deep “DAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn son!” before returning into a bush.

The woodland suddenly became alive again and Hylonome, standing next to her supressed a laugh by covering her mouth, and even Chadmus raised his eyebrows, with a side long look at  Jenny. She shot them an evil look as she held back tears.

She  tried regaining some of her composure, eyeing up Kroto slowly up and down, “You don’t even, like have enough hooves, you bipedal freak”.

Jenny looked satisfied with herself and turned to Chadmus for support, who shrugged unconvinced back at her. “Sorry babe, I mean he is a s-s-s-Satyr, its kinda..obvio..” he saw her look changing to anger as he trailed off..

Jenny not waiting galloped off in a huff, with Chadmus chasing her exclaiming loudly through the forest “Babe, I totally g-g-g et it now, bipedal, Ha ha ha.!”.. the ring leaders gone, the others followed them slowly back to Greek row.

Hylonome dragging her hooves, shrugged and smiled at Kroto.

Cesues come back to his senses  and made his way over to Kroto “Thanks” he said.

“Maaan, no worries”. He turned to Cesues continuing quickly “I think, I’ve got a chance with Hylonome she WANTS it..”

Cesues rolled his eyes and started making his way back to his tree and book, “that filly don’t want you”, he said.

“Oooh you say Filly I say fill-thy, those gorgeous lips can blow on my flute, any day”

Cesues was getting comfortable in his spot again “Nah”.

Kosto’s joined him at the tree “I’ll give her so many margasm”.

“What the fu…!” Cesues & the lady exclaimed.

“Huh, how the…?” She continued,

“Don’t worry about it” the old man reassured her.  “Let’s just agree, everyone thought it was disgusting.”

“Satyr’s are famous lovers of wine, music, dancing, women and are often masturbating” he shrugged “blame the gods”.

Disgusted as we all were, Cesues was determined, to not get distracted a third time,  so he focused back on his book. When his ears began to twitch to a repetitive  “thump”, thump, thump”

He didn’t want to look up, he wouldn’t, not if Zeus himself had appeared as a random animal, mineral or vegetable to get his sex-on. As he was known to turn himself into a swan, eagle, bull or ray of sunshine to get his rocks off.

The lady squirmed a bit, “Yes, seriously he would, look it up or maybe better not”, the Jamaican courier cut of the lady before she could even open her mouth. “So..”

“thump”, thump, thump”, he couldn’t,” thump, thump, thump”, he wouldn’t , he had to pass this class, “thump, thump, thump”, he looked up and saw, not Zeus but Kosto’s mid thrust.

“really the tree?” he said dejected.

“Sorry, man”, Kosto meekly replied as he made his way from around the tree.

“I need to pass this class, so I get into the school in Athens.” Cesues pleaded.

 “Of course, of course, I’ll leave you too it” said Kosto’s picking up his things.

“I’ll be back at 16:00, for boardgames, my choice this week and I say Petteia!” with that Kosto’s sprang into the deep forest.

The sun was lower in the sky, and Cesues had long past finished trying to study, he had setup the board and was beginning to get worried for his friend. It was 17:00 and Kroto was many things but not late. They’d been friends since as long as he can remember, he was actually his only real friend.

Cesues was brought back from his thoughts, by a loud “whooping”. It was un-mistakenly Kroto, who was evidently in a good mood.

Out of breath he stumbled into the glade, “you are never” he continued breathing heavily ”going to believe” catching his breath some more, Cesues’ s interest grew as Kroto’s gesticulation increased, and  waned as it went from arm swinging, to flapping, to very rude hand motions only Kroto could think up.

“What?!, take a breath”, urged Cesues.

Kroto took a deep long breath, “I bumped into THE Hermes!”,

Cesues looked doubtful “Hermes?” he said.

“YES!” Kroto’s nodded vigorously “The Greek god of trade, wealth, luck, fertility, animal husbandry, sleep, language, thieves, and travel. One of the cleverest gods”

“And the most mischievous ” Cesues added.

“Pish-posh” retorted Kroto. “Did you not hear me mention luck and fertility!” he’s a messenger and he told me Pholos is having a party at his house TONIGHT!”

Cesues ears pricked up “Noooo waaay”, he said slowly.

“Yes waaay, that Pholos”, Kroto’s said with a big grin on his face “Apparently he’s cracked open his best wine, and anyone who’s anyone is going to be there.”

Cesues mood suddenly turned again “We can’t go, it’ll be invite only”

Kroto’s turned his smile into a frown “Yes, it is”, and with a cheeky bounce began to smile “So it’s a good thing Hermes gave me two invitations!” and with that he took out two golden envelopes from his satchel.

The envelopes, sparkled magically even though the sun had nearly set. Cesues trotted backwards and forward in excitement around the pond, when he stopped mid trot.

“Maaan, what it’s up with you? You’ve suddenly lost your mojo” Cesues didn’t reply.

Kroto made his way to his friend and saw him staring down at his own reflection.

“Look at me”, his reflection in the pond shimmered, “I’m not cool like Chadmus.”

“Look at me” Kroto said pulling a funny face, he was comically hideous.

Cesues, brightened up a little. “You got confidence, you don’t care.”

“Maaaaan, of course I care” he looked at his reflection. “Everyone is self-conscious,  they all wants to look their best, but what’s inside that’s what you can control, you decide how you feel, you decide to accept yourself and be happy”, he said in all seriousness “Damn me to Hades, I’m scared all the time.”

“Really?” Cesues perked up.

“Yes, really.” Kroto affirmed, giving his friend a big hug.

“I’m afraid of rejection, of not doing enough of not being happy, but you know what I’m most afraid of?” Krotos waited a beat.

“Of giving up of not doing anything, because if you do nothing take no risk you’re definitely going nowhere”. He finished.

Realizing he’d gotten way to deep Kosto’s added “This our chance, I can totally bone Hylonome and you can get with that foreign exchange student.”

“Who?!” exclaimed Cesues, protesting too much, as he was never very good at hiding his emotions.

“I know you like, her. What’s her weird name again, I remember it sounds really vaginal, Hymen?”

“Himeno“ Cesues replied  grumpily. “Himeno Kimihara”

“See I knew, you knew her. She’ll be there for sure. Come on this is our chance you know he always has the best parties, and everyone always gets laid at these kind of things”.

“Look I know you’re afraid, you’ll got to this party, look like a fool, everyone will hate you, especially Hymen who will think you’re a total loser, you’ll mess up this exam because you didn’t study enough and you’ll never leave this awful place”

“That’s made me feel better”, Cesues muttered sarcastically.

“Look you either come or you don’t, but I know you want to go, and I know this could change your life, but you have to be the one to gallop towards your destiny” Kroto said with a wink.

Cesues took his que and ran deep into the forest, without another word.

Kroto’s faulter slightly “Cool,yeh. glad I made you feel better”, before composing himself and shouting after him “See you there at 21:00!”.

“That uh went well” he mutter to himself, looking around what to do next.

“Where did he go. Where did he go!”, the lady pleaded, getting up from her seat.

“So impatient, we’ll get to that” the courier drawled.

The party was as you can imagine totally crazy, the bass of the music could be heard a mile down the road. Lights were flashing all the colours of the rainbow and people were queuing up for hours hoping to get in, only to be met by the huge door creature who decided who was allowed in.

Kroto was pacing up and down at the bottom of the road, the cool night air filled with excitement of potential. He stopped and decided he’d waited long enough.

He made his way towards the entrance, walking past lines of people, trying his best to look confident as he got to the front, he heard his name.

“Hey Kroto’s, w-w-w-where’s your date” Chadmus, snorted and began high fiving some of the other Pi Lambda Phi’s who were standing with him in line.

Kroto’s opened his mouth, but nothing came out, he didn’t feel up to it. He lowered he gaze and began to turn back the way he came. It wasn’t the same without his friend, maybe they were right he should go.

“I’m his date!” Hylonome said a bit too loudly, surprising herself.

Kroto’s eyes shot up to meet hers as everyone else stared in disbelief.

“Yes”, she said more confidently, staring everyone down. “let’s go Kroto” and with that she put her arm though Kroto’s and they walked to the front of the line.

 “You are like totally out of the sorority, if you go with him” Jenny spitted. “like forever” she added slow and deliberately.

The pair ignored her and went to the front, which hurt Jenny more than any words ever had.

Argus the huge many eyed bouncer, managing the door boomed. “Back of the line, Satyr.”

Kosto, confident with Hylonome by his side presented the tickets. When he suddenly got shoved aside.

A giant man had pushed Kosto aside and began to flex his bulging muscles .

“Here I come, yes it’s me, don’t you worry it’s..”

Somewhere a crowed screamed “HERCULES!”

Argos, Kroto and Hylonome craned their necks looking all around trying to figure out where the cheer had come from, to no avail.

“Move it little one” he pushed Kroto again with his hip, who fell on the floor and proceeded  to concentrated  all his attention on Hylonome

“And who is this pretty little thing”, he said flexing his muscles. “You like these huge muscles? sure you do all the girls do”. He said trying out different poses.

“No” she replied crossing her arms and looking away.

“Don’ t you know who I am, I’m…” he waited,…

“HERCULES!” the cheer came again.

Kroto stood up and looked around, like seriously it was so weird ,really where was that coming from?

“I don’t care who you are, leave us alone” she said, and with that she  put her arm through Kroto’s ready to leave.

“HEY!, Leave them alone” shouted Cesues trotting up to the kerfuffle.

“What now?” Argos sighed.

As they all looked over as Cesues bounding up the street, Hylonome kicked Hercules in the nether regions who swiftly crumpled to the floor.

“oooooooooooooooooooooooo” was the pained expression from the invisible crowed.

Argos looked around confused, seriously he was the all seeing eye, he really should be able to see where these fans of Hercules where.

“Ooooo no” the lady said “that’s got to hurt”.

“Yes, yes it did” The courier said.

Kroto’s went to his friend and gave him a hug. “Wow, I can’t believe you  stood up to Hercules for me”

“That’s him?”, Cesues, realised, with a sinking oh shit I’m screwed feeling, but quickly managed to reply a unconvincing  “No worries, buddy”.

Hylonome joined them, giving Cesues a quick pat on the shoulder she whispered into his ear “She’s waiting inside for you” and with that she began to walk down the road “Let’s go Kroto’s, I didn’t want to go to this party anyway” she shouted back.

Kroto coming to his senses pressed the tickets into his friends hands and ran after Hylonome.

Kroto clearing his throat began ”.. hey babe”.  Hylonome, laughed  “Chill you don’t have to pretend with me, but you’re cute.”

“Thanks” is all Kroto could said, finally speechless as he looked at her.

“Okay!” Cesues  neighed to himself and headed of toward the bouncer with all the confidence he could muster.

He presented the tickets to Argos, who let him in, without any difficulty, which kind of disappointed Cesues for a moment, but he soon regained his stride making his way in.

The tickets Argos was handed were fake, but he was kind of glad someone had taken Hercules down a step or two, that guy could really be a pain in the ass.

Cesues, surveyed the party that was in full swing. He was in, he’d made it to the coolest party ever, this was it. “Shit!” he thought “now what?”, it was all about getting this far, and he hadn’t thought about what he’d do next. He searched the crowed of drunken reprobates and spotted a punch bowl.

He’d get himself a drink, he’d never had one before but he was at a party and that’s what you did.

He clumsily made it past, the partying guests apologizing profusely as he went. Not letting his target out of sight, the punch bowl. He was getting closer to it this was it, first step nearly achieved. He’d be there in a horses hair.

“Boo!”

“Aaaaaah!” he screamed in a freight way to loud, making the people around him turn in shock.

It was Himeno she’d ambushed him before he got to the punch bowl.

Their eyes connected, “this is amazing!” he thought and straight away the fear hit him how truly amazing it really was and he looked away.

”Come-on pull it together, think what would Kroto do”, he pumped himself up, and took a deep breath and looked up at her. 

He lounged back on a side table trying way too hard to look cool, which made Himeno giggle.

“Hi, how you doin?” he tried.

“What?” she looked at him confused.

Don’t mess this up Cesues, he began to feel the pressure “Hey babe, look..”

“Bang!” a loud crash, brought the entire party to a stop.

“What now?!, can he please just get with the girl?” the lady begged.

“Good things come to those who wait” the old delivery man soother her.

A crumpled mess lay covered in bits of broken table, chairs and bottles. The music had stopped and guest peered to see what it was.

With a loud ““Whoooooo, this is the best p-p-party ever !!!” Chadmus jumped out of the mess grabbed a drink from the nearest spectator at which point the music kicked back in and the party got even wilder.

Cesues, looked on dumb founded and before he could bring his thoughts back. Himeno grabbed his arm and took him out the back of the party and onto a patio, where it quieter.

“Thanks,” said Cesues

 “Your nice” Himemo gagged his response.

“Thanks”, was Cesues only response, no knowing what to do with himself.

“Do you actually like these kind of parties?” Himeno tried again to get him more relaxed.

“Dunno” he answered monosyllabically.

“Do you ever say more than a few words?” She tried frustrated.

Cesues thought a moment “Uh, to be honest this is actually my first ever party, and I don’t think I like them very much”.

This brought a smile to her face “Shall we go for a walk”, she said putting out her hand for his.

“I’d like that very much” he said taking her hand.

And so as they walked side by side into the night they missed the legendary Pholos party.

With that the old man got up and made his way to his van to get the last box and put it on her porch.

“What happened next?, what about the party?, what does it mean?” The lady enquired.

“I’m not really sure to be honest” he said getting sprightly into his van “It’s all Greek to me“  he said with a wink and a wave.

“Goodbye Ms Philaenis”