Self-love reflected in sensuality, which I wrote about last time, does not remain contained within private life. It manifests in the way you are present in the world, in the quality of your presence towards others, in the energy you bring to any social or professional space. And precisely this connection, between sexual life and the way you function in professional and social relationships, is today's subject, one that few people explore but which has real and concrete implications.
It is not an esoteric or speculative idea. It has a clear neurobiological and psychological foundation.
Sexual energy, in its broader sense beyond the sexual act itself, is a form of bodily and emotional vitality. It includes levels of dopamine, testosterone, and oxytocin, the molecules associated with motivation, self-confidence, the capacity to form connections, and overall vitality. All of these directly influence the way you function in any relational context, not only the intimate one.
A person with a satisfying sexual life and a healthy relationship with their own sexuality tends to have more balanced levels of these molecules. And that translates into observable behaviours: more confidence in social interactions, greater capacity for risk-taking, more presence and charisma, greater resilience in the face of rejection or failure.
There is a quality I call magnetic presence, which you notice in certain people and which has nothing to do with physical appearance or social status. It is a quality of being entirely there in the interaction, of communicating that you are comfortable in your own body and your own skin, that you are not seeking validation and are not consumed by anxiety or self-censorship. This quality is closely linked to the relationship with one's own sexuality and body.
People who have repressed their sexuality, who live an erotic life marked by shame or denial, bring to social and professional spaces a form of subtle tension, a contracted energy that is felt even if it cannot be clearly named. Conversely, people who live a healthy and integrated sexual life have an ease and openness that transfers to all contexts.
There is also a dimension of creativity and innovation that is influenced by sexual energy. Research in the neuroscience of creativity shows that the same neurological systems activated in desire and erotic exploration are also those involved in lateral thinking, creative risk-taking, and the capacity to generate new ideas. It is not a coincidence that many creators, whether artists, entrepreneurs, or scientists, describe periods of intense creativity in sensual terms: they feel alive, pressed by energy, unable to stay still.
Suppression of this energy, whether sexual or erotic, produces a rigidity that extends beyond intimate life. People who have blocked their erotic vitality also tend to have more rigid thinking, less adaptable, less willing to explore in other domains.
Another concrete effect: the level of oxytocin, influenced by the quality of sexual life and physical intimacy, directly affects the capacity for empathy and the formation of social connections. Oxytocin is called the social bonding hormone precisely because it facilitates trust, empathy, and cooperation. A person with higher levels of oxytocin, produced in part by a healthy intimate life, is more capable of forming genuine professional relationships, inspiring trust, and collaborating effectively.
That does not mean an active sexual life is a prerequisite for professional success. It means there is a real connection between erotic vitality, general emotional state, and the quality of social presence.
There is also the reverse, equally real. Chronic professional stress significantly reduces sexual energy and intimate satisfaction. Workplace exhaustion transfers into the bedroom. And if this exhaustion is not addressed, it produces a vicious cycle: less erotic vitality, less emotional energy for the relationship, less emotional support from the relationship, less resilience towards professional stress.
I believe one of the most effective forms of investment in your own professional performance is the care of your intimate life. Not in a romantic sense, but in the sense that a healthy erotic life produces a more alive, more present, and more capable person in all other domains.
Think about the periods in your life when your sexual energy was higher. How were you in social and professional relationships during those periods compared to periods of exhaustion or absence of intimate life? What does that comparison tell you?
