Yesterday I mentioned an unfortunate incident in our local supermarket and how some people fail to take responsibility for their own actions. Maybe it is because I have a highly developed moral compass , but it really does drive me mad.

But before I delve any further let me start with a positive story I heard once. I have no idea if it is true or apocryphal, but the point it makes is of great value.

Soon after arriving at the airport in New York and after he had passed through customs and passport control, Fred, a well-heeled businessman, hailed a yellow cab and got in. He quickly stated his destination and the cabbie set off.

The cabbie almost immediately engaged him in light and cheery conversation and through the mirror in the middle of the windscreen Fred could see that the cabbie was almost constantly smiling as he talked. Fred found his lightness refreshing and easy going and found it easy to relax in the back seat that suddenly felt so much more comfortable.

Soon they arrived at the destination and as Fred paid and got out he couldn't stop himself from asking the cabbie why he was so happy and relaxed. The answer surprised him.

"I see many people come and go from the airport. Some are tired, or anxious about where they are going and who they are meeting. Some of them may just have been having a bad day. What right do I have to make it worse. If I smile and it can make their day a little bit better then that can only be a good thing. You never know, it might even help. Going into a meeting with a smile on your face might make the meeting go that little bit better. My smile costs nothing, but it can make a big difference."

WOW! That is the power of kindness!

Now unfortunately the negative. Sadly, more often than not people lack that consideration of others in public places and I have to start with people on buses and in particular guys (please remember I am a guy too). Why do 90% of guys find it necessary to sit with their legs wide open, in an alpha position that is more or less presenting their meat and two veg. It is called manspreading, but it is simply rude and encroaching on other people’s space, as demonstrated below.

I am a man, and I have never felt the need to do this and will never understand why. To be honest there is no excuse for it

Bus seats in particular are wonderful things – even if the legroom at times can be somewhat cramped.  More so than the image above they define your leg room for you. For goodness sake it is not rocket science.  Let me use a couple of pictures for easy reference (just in case you need it).

Between each of the seats that are next to each other there is a clearly defined line.  You don’t park your butt across both seats do you?  Take the same line and extend it straight in front of you and it defines your leg space!  how simple is that!  And it is not much more of an extrapolation to work out if it is a bench seat as in the first picture!  Is it that these guys are too selfish or worse to even realise that they encroach on other people’s space when they cross the line or what?!?

I know I am repeating myself but for goodness sake it is not rocket science!!!

I remember sitting next to one such guy several years ago and when I challenged him about how he was overoccupying the pace he simply looked at me and asked, "Is it your personal space?"

What a f**king idiot. Obviously not, but it is not his either.

On another occasion, after judging the situation to be safe enough, when sitting next to another manspreader, I suddenly developed an itch in my knee that was next to his leg and so I scratched and made sure the back of my hand rubbed his knee too. Then lo and behold my itch went up my leg so I followed it with my hand, keeping it in close contact with his leg all the time.

Believe me he soon closed his legs.

He might even have been screaming #MeToo, but it was his behaviour that was undesirable and not mine.

Some people are more subtle than this and use their shopping a reason to encroach or even occupy more seats than they should. I would be the first to admit that on a relatively empty bus I would put my shopping on the seat next to me, but would soon move it if necessary. I also proactively offer the seat to people as they get on. Seats are for people at the end of the day. However, some people put their shopping in their leg space and then encroach into your space with both legs – I guess it could be argued that this is even worse than manspreading! The other annoying trick that some use, when sitting next to a window, is to put their shopping between the window and themselves, which shifts them into a kind of midseat position that leaves the hapless person next to them perching on the edge.

While I am at it, feet on seats is disgusting and a non-brainer – other people have to sit there moron!

And women, don't think you are off the hook simply because you don't spread your legs like a manspreader. Many women lack the spacial awareness when it comes to their shoulder bags and have no idea that they are in fact offensive weapons!  There is some innocent person minding his / her own business to suddenly be knocked out of the way by some woman who is carelessly passing through knocking all and sundry aside in her quest to get a seat.  

Pay attention woman and open your eyes!

Backpackers in general – take your bag of your back, it makes you twice as big and you don’t even realise as you spin round and knock somebody into next week! A few years ago such a person knocked my glasses clean off my face and I was fortunate to catch them. When I addressed him about it he did say sorry but sorry wouldn't have replaced my £500 pair of glasses had they been broken would it (and btw they are so expensive not because they are designer but because I need such a strong prescription).

We need good manners and common sense. For example, not letting others off the bus before you get on - well d’oh - that doesn’t even need any explanation and finally cyclists who bring their bikes on the bus and block the aisles – especially in good weather.  You chose to come out on  your bike so stay on it. Having said that I do have an element of sympathy for delivery riders who are working the gig economy and more deliveries mean more pay and vice-versa. If this makes their lives that little bit easier I kind of get it, even if they need to learn to ride properly on THE ROADS.

A bit of kindness and consideration and it would be different world.

And on that note as always stay safe and well my friends.