This morning I am wanting to provoke you and hopeful stir some kind of a reaction. I am going to outline a scenario I found an (even unwitting) part of and ask for your response and especially if you can shed further light on how to interpret the situation and even more so if you see it different to how I do. Again this post is from a Work In Progress on the whole #MeToo issue and your comments and observations might even find there way into the finished product (this does not necessarily mean that it will be published - that is out of my hands).

So here goes.

Forgive me for the lengthy preamble about what happened to my friend, but I need to contextualise the standards of behaviour that are common in such an enviornment before getting down to the specific incident.

Back in 1999, I went with my best friend from my school days to a rock concert, The Big Day Out held at the Milton Keynes Bowl in the UK. It is a large grassed over saucer-shaped amphitheatre with a capacity of 60,000. With the headline acts including Metallica and Marilyn Manson, among others. the show was a sellout.

There is a kind of etiquette at such concerts which is often overlooked on the basis that the majority think that heavy metal is violent and its fans are crazy. For example, there is always a bigger guy there, and if another big guy started getting too aggressive in the mosh pit, that bigger guy will take him down with a minimum of fuss. Or to quote Tom Araya, the bassist and vocalist of Slayer, in his polite American accent, ‘If you see somebody go down, help them out. That’s what we are here to do’ (Slayer Decade of Aggression [CD 1, 1991], Introduction to War Ensemble).

In this short phrase he captures the exact essence of how fans should and usually do behave at a heavy metal concert.

At one point during the concert my friend and I found ourselves within a swirling mass of humanity and in moments like that you have little or no control over where you go. You are lifted off your feet, but the press of bodies makes it impossible to fall over while at the same time the crowd surges and carries you hither and thither just like being caught in a human riptide. It was during one of these moments that something happened...

Again I am sharing to demonstrate what kind of environment it was to illustrate my point.

Alas! My friend suddenly shouted at me “shoelace”. An undone shoelace within this seething entity could be catastrophic. I looked around and shouted “shoelace” to anybody and everybody who would listen and what followed was astounding and will remain with me forever. About seven or eight people, including me, wrapped our arms around each other’s shoulders and formed a tight circle and my friend simply went down and retied his shoelace before getting up again. He quickly thanked everybody and then everybody went back to the business of enjoying the concert.

Moving on to my point, it is quite common during such concerts to body-surf. For the unacquainted, this is when a fan climbs on top of the crowd who then pass him or her around. Usually the fan is passed towards the front and then security, who are at the barriers in front of the stage, lift the person over and then they are escorted back to the side and can make their way back into the crowd.

It is great fun and it is also an easy way to get out of the crowd when you have seen enough or get overwhelmed by the often surging crowds. I did it myself when I’d had enough of Marilyn Manson and when I was lifted over the barrier I simply made my way to the back of the “bowl” and rejoined my friend who wasn’t particularly interested in Marilyn Manson.

My only concern was that I didn’t lose my wallet or my glasses as I was being passed about and ultimately dumped at the front. I enjoyed it so much I did it a second time, but this time just for fun.

It was a great concert and my friend and I went home exhausted and with ears ringing; all the hallmarks of it being a good time.

This of course was before the advent of the internet. At that time, it was just about lurking somewhere in the present, but was very much something for a future yet to dawn. So, naturally I was drawn to the music press to read reviews and comments on the concert and so it was with this in mind that I eagerly picked up a copy of Metal Hammer the following Wednesday and read the reviews.

Afterwards there was a letters section in which people shared there own experiences of the concert and it generally centred on the quality of the sound or how the different bands performed according to subjective tastes. If I remember correctly Monster Magnet tried to set fire to the stage they were on because they were peeved at being on the second stage rather than the main one.

However, one letter in particular struck me and has remained with me ever since. It was written by a 19-year-old girl.

While after all of these years it is impossible for me to recollect the exact content and reproduce it here verbatim, I can still convey the gist and her righteous anger.

She protested that she had been molested when she had body-surfed during the concert and she felt indignant that it had happened. She felt soiled and it destroyed the whole concert experience for her. And of course she was absolutely right. She absolutely should be able to body-surf if she wants to without fear of being touched, groped or manhandled.

But… and this is the catch.

Having body-surfed at the same concert and also carried people over my head as they came over, I was probably manhandled by literally hundreds of people as I was steadily passed to the front. A lot of those who moved me along were guys and at least some alcohol had been consumed by most. I don’t particularly recall being touched in any sexualised way, but it is highly likely that somebody did make contact with parts of my anatomy that are normally off limits.

From a crowd perspective, the first thing that people are usually aware of is that somebody’s boot has found its way on the top of your head or into your ear. Most if not all, just put their hands in the air and with a forward waving motion pass the person along, even with the occasional “Watch out.” I passed dozens of people over my head and frankly had no idea where I made contact with them. I simply wasn’t looking and it happened so quickly that even if I had been aware there was little or nothing I could do about it.

I am not going to deny that I might have touched somebody in an inappropriate place as I passed them over and maybe even this particular girl. I will never know, all I know was that there was no intent and I am sure it was the same for most festival goers.

The only caveat that I would add is that in most cases females can actually feel the difference between a glancing, accidentally touch and a more lingering deliberate one. It is entirely possible that even in the midst of being carried by the crowd she felt the difference.

To repeat myself, of course she had every right to do what she wanted and she should have been able to do so unmolested and I am dismayed that her experience was as it was, especially after my own experience of body surfing and what had happened when my friend’s shoelace came undone.

But if we were to look at it another way, she climbed on top of literally hundreds of males, often in various levels of toxicity (and not necessarily just alcohol) and was touched either accidentally or consciously (and probably both). Of course, it wasn’t her fault and she should, all things be equal be able to body-surf without issue or fear of molestation, but while there is absolute right on her side of the argument isn't it all a bit naive?

It doesn't make it right but it does have an air of inevitability about what happened.

I must finally add that while everything is permissible, not everything is advisable and it stinks that yet again women have to moderate their behaviours - and this case choose not to do something for fear of being touched - because of how some males behave. Males of course don't face such limitations.  

As sad as it sounds what actually happened was all too predictable because we live in the real world.

So to sum up in a single sentence, what I am trying to say is that I wholeheartedly agree with the girl, and while it shouldn't make a difference, her choices exposed her to what happened even though she didn't do anything wrong.

Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

As always stay safe and well my friends.