Fortuna, Fortuna mea

My luck, my luck, why hast thou forsaken me?
I crumbled once before and crumble now I do again.
Oh god, oh god, I wish I could just flee
And give in to temptation,
(In which I'd find salvation)
So I could free myself of this disgusting, gnawing pain...
So I could have this demon at last slain.
And not a trace of blood I'd let remain!

Why now? We've known each other for a while,
Three years to date at least, or three
Octobers, as I love to count! Mischievous smile
Of yours has set me free,
Time and time again... So why?
Why, Lady Fortune? Has it come?
The time. The time for me to d... fly?
Far. Away? I hear the drum
The drumsticks in my mind resound
Like thunder; merge does what's lost with what is found

Judgement

And there stand I, alone, unchained... and yet in misery
While free at first glance - a prisoner at second!;
I feel my rationale departing; it fades away, it's freezing me
To the state of mortals after life, the state of sinners shackled
Within each one of the renowned Inferno's circles...
And suddenly - the colours change. The greens around become the purples,
The reds - the blues, the whites - the reds...
The eyesight is now lost; no longer can I fight.
In solitude I stare at, observe I many giant rats
As I am gradually devoured by the eternal night.

I'm trapped alone, I'm blind;
Yet I am somehow writing this pathetic verse...
I wonder if this is my brand-new, unique curse?
Then gently my brain clicks - I do myself remind
The unnatural nature of my newfound circumstances.
And here I end the fourth of the six stanzas.

Beyond; forgotten

...so I've been gotten rid of. I've been confined... beyond.
I look around for eyes...
I suddenly can see: I see a pond.
A pond for me alone. For me and my demise.

I grin a little. I crack a little laugh.
Then devishly I cackle like a madman... 'kay, enough.
I throw myself into the pond, racing to its bottom.
Goodbye, the unforgiving, of me not needing world!
This verse is finished! With that, I will now be forgotten.