Everyone has bad dreams every now and then, invading the little joy that's taken refuge in our minds, away from the evils of the outside world. Here, in our happy place, these nightmares evoke our wildest and most petrifying fears, created only by ourselves as a distressing reminder of the terrible things that we've seen, experienced, or have ever thought about. At least sooner or later, you'll wake up in a cold sweat, shaking your throbbing head, while pondering left and right to find all the monsters.
You look under your bed, in the closet, and your internet browser's history. It wasn't real, none of it. As soon as you awaken your pearly eyes, those terrors are gone, purely a darkened figment of one's imagination. Unfortunately, not all things in the world are like that, and some nightmares do come true. Have you ever noticed something so terrible, that you pray to the mighty Gods in the hopes that it will never happen, just to find out that it materialised anyway?
Credits to: 2021 BMW M440i | That humongous grille is the subject of discourse for today.
Even amidst all the darkness that has plagued mankind as of late, from a viral pandemic to worldwide protests, BMW has decided that, "You know what, I can make this worse". With screams of chaos carried through the winds, BMW's just unveiled their new 4-series, and I have more than a few words to exchange. So bear with me, but if there's one word that I can use to describe it, that would be 'f--king ugly'.
To be more specific, BMW's decided to express itself more boldly from now on, and why not do it by reinventing the wheel into a square. And if we're going to do this, then why not choose the most signature feature of any BMW - that iconic kidney-grille, and enlarge that by a factor of 10. For decades, this simple shape adorned only to feed cooling air into the engine has become one of the most recognisable symbols in the car world.
Gott im Himmel, What Have They Done?!
Credits to: 328 (1936), 507 (1955), M1 (1979), and M3 CSL (2003) | The powerful modesty in BMW's front kidney-grille.
Somehow then, BMWs redesign in recent times have succumbed themselves into a habit of causing kidney failure, as again and again, we've cried out the act of sacrilege against this holy symbol. Following the i4 Concept that was shown just recently, the new 4-series has a face only its mother could love, and I feel no remorse saying that. As I wrote back then, all the innovations and neat features added to BMW's imagination of its electrified future had quickly faded into the background, swallowed whole by the vastness of its bucktooth face.
Never judge a book by its cover, but if that cover is hideous enough, then would you even bother opening it up? I woke up from the nightmare that is the i4, hoping that it wouldn't make it into the next 4-series, given how much I adored the outgoing ones. Alas, it all turned to dust once I started seeing teasers and leaks. Understandably, appearance can be subjective, and what I consider to be ugly might look attractive to you. If that's the case, don't let me affect your convictions.
Credits to: 2021 BMW i4 Concept | That beaver-teeth marked the beginning for what's to come.
Speaking for myself, and a lot of other people at this time, this bold new approach isn't being taken kindly. Mockery has ensued, and to BMW's credit, I do think this massive new grille will no doubt help to make it stand out more against the crowd. You'll have no reason to mistake this for anything else other than a Beemer, even from 10 miles away. However, the old design was equally distinguishable enough already, so why exaggerate that? The 4-series is another casualty of this change, following other 'bold' remakes of the larger 7-series, and X7.
Granted, in the half-a-day or so since I first saw this, I've become less offended than I was a few hours ago, though I'm not sure if it'll get any better than that. That might change in the future, as I don't have any issues with large grilles. One example is Lexus, as I've come to adore some - not all, mind you - of their vacuum cleaner-like gobs. After decades of making bland cars, this daring make-up is refreshing to look at, compared to BMW's, "Look at me" approach.
Credits to: 2021 BMW M440i | Apart from the grille however, everything else looked rather good.
There is one speculation to suggest why BMW's driven down this path, and just as I've been rehearsing in the voice of the Great Donald - China. See, different communities and sects of people have unique perceptions of the world around them, between what is good or bad. Individuality aside, it can have an effect on how companies deliver products or services, to properly attract the attention of customers in those regions. Similarly, this one trait is what has defined the great diversity in the car world - from the flamboyant Italians, over-engineered Germans, rorty Americans, and the reserved Japanese.
Among the Chinese community, cars are an important symbol of one's successes in life, and their status quo. It's not a shame to flaunt that in front of others, as my Chinese mother can attest to that. Even in Communist China, where all are created equal, some are more equal than others. Automobiles there demand a greater than life presence, informing the proletariat in their mule-carts to get out of the way. BMW's new bling-y grille is what's needed to capture more ground in the world's largest car market, and they can't care less about what we think. Simply, for everyone that hates the new grille, there will be 10 others waiting in line to buy one.
The Beauty In The Beast.
Credits to: DriveTribe, BMW 4-Series (2018) | Call me old-fashioned, but the old 4-Series' grille looks far, far better. Up top is a render of what the new 4 could've looked like with normal grilles.
I think we have enough negativity already, so it's high time to end it on a good note. The rest of the exterior does at least look more sharpish, with strong creases and acute angles to better highlight the beast that lies within. Having taken a trip to the wind tunnel, it's now more aerodynamic than before. It's handing ought to be improved as well, with a lower centre of gravity, combined with a widened rear-track for better high-speed stability. The suspension has also been refined and lowered, now supporting a stiffened chassis.
Mind you, those are changes made in the 4-series coupe that's shown here, and there will be more to come, including the "GranCoupe" four-door, and a convertible option. More impressively, there's been a handful of improvements under the bonnet, as the new 4-series will carry a variety of different engine options from four-, to six-cylinders. You could even choose the drivetrain, between a more tail-happy rear-, or the more sedate all-wheel drive configurations.
Credits to: 2021 BMW M440i | Small refinements make a difference.
Speaking for the top-of-the-range M440i, it'll have BMW's most esteemed 3.0-litre turbocharged inline-6 engine, now combined with a 48-volt mild-hybrid system. With this minor gusto in power, it'll output a healthy 374hp, and readily enough to punch from standstill to 60mph in just 4.5 seconds. It's mightily amazing, given that it's just a bit slower than the outgoing M4, the fastest and most mad derivative of the 4-series. Already, I'm getting antsy to figure out what the Bavarians are doing with the next M4.
To douse some confusion over the nomenclature - even I'm getting a headache trying to wrap around it - here's how BMWs are named:
- the entry-level cars are the 420i and 430i, where you can also get the "M Sport" accessories and trim options;
- the next step up is called the M440i, with M standing for "M Performance", which represents a subtle retuning of the base 4-series;
- the top of the line is called the M4, where the M accompanying a single number now stands for the "M Division", BMW's skunkworks that re-engineers from the bottom up for more performance.
I think I got that right. Well, in any case, that's my rant over for this new Beemer. Admittedly, it's futile to even resist against this transplantation of their new kidney, as I'm sure there's more models to get the same treatment. The small 2-, and flagship 8-series cars are already getting progressively larger mouths to feed, and by no means will they stop there. Just like the winds in the sky, and the waves in the seas, we'll just have to get used to it. Alternatively, you could just get an Alfa Romeo, or a Lexus IS instead. Would you?
Credits to: Alfa Romeo Giulia QV, and Lexus IS | Two very different cars, but more interesting than the new 4, I find.
Thanks for reading! For more updates on my blogs, or the more minute things in life, feel free to follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Medium, and maybe give a shout there as well!
