"We pass through our days with the freedom of a dog
who never reaches the end of its leash."
Derrick Jensen
I had a friend who was into Infowars in '02-'03. He was the kind of homeless computer expert who would sell his shoes for drugs or a piece of bread, but who had a vibe of being able to hack into any government database while sitting in a pile of socks underneath a bridge. I imagined him re-aligning the satellites while panhandling on the sidewalk, or interrupting the live broadcast of the Gameshow News Network with a deadly dose of irrefutable facts. Did Ben Richards really slaughter civilians in Bakersfield? Was January 6th a legitimate insurrection? Is Donald Trump guilty of wrongthink? Does Dweezil Zappa belong to an underground militia of freedom fighters led by Mick Fleetwood? Was Killian a Taylor Swift fan?
We may never know the truth.
My homeless friend showed me the Infowars website while we were sitting at some cheap outdoor restaurant in Silverlake. It was interesting, but it didn't resonate. I didn't notice Alex Jones until I moved to Austin at the end of 2006. He was on cable access, and did his show sitting on a folding chair behind a card table. He was interesting. He didn't like Bush, but clearly wasn't a liberal. Which was a radical position at the time.
Or so it seemed to me.
By the time I became a cabdriver in 2009, I was a full-on "Alex Jones guy." His show was played 2 or 3 times a day on the radio, and I'd listen to it between fares. It was the perfect soundtrack for a cabdriver, a post-political exposition of the creepy, esoteric power behind the world throne. Bilderberg this, Rothschild that. Denver airport murals this, Georgia Guidestones that. I even went to see G. Edward Griffin give a speech about the communist swamp thing behind the Federal Reserve, or whatever his book is called. It was a free event, and because there were still interested, open-minded people in America, it was packed. As hard as it is to believe, 9/11 truth and the Federal Reserve were important topics before the culture was overrun by misandrist, racist pedophiles sympathetic to Hamas.
Nevermind the racist, victim-tripping acolytes of the malevolent clan of St. Floyd of the Holy Fentanyl Overdose, and the Gay Gestapo. Is it a parade, or did somebody spill a giant bowl of children's breakfast cereal? Is it blood running through the streets, or rainbow-colored milk? As Larry Alex Taunton said today in his "Friday Five:"
I haven't listened to Alex Jones in a long time, mostly because I learned what I needed to learn from him, and it didn't seem necessary to top off the tank and spill any information on the pavement. But my friend and I did submit a short film to his "Operation Paul Revere" contest in 2013. I forgot about it, but while looking through his YouTube channel for reasons of having recently written about the music-video recreation of The Black Dahlia murder we made in 2005, I watched it again.
It stands the test of time.
Unfortunately.
The song that re-appears throughout the video is called "Licking The Fist That Feeds," and is from my album Slow-Burning Fun. The refrain about the dog never reaching the end of its leash is a line from Derrick Jensen. He thanked me when I told him I used it. Read along with the song HERE, if you like.
Just remember, the flood of rainbow-colored milk is full of toxic poison. The tide has been rising for years, and if you're in the middle of it, it might be hard to touch the ground. We're treading milk at this point, but whatever you do, don't get any in your mouth. It's sweet, but so is antifreeze. I know it looks colorful and tolerant, but don't drink it. It's gay and glittery, but it isn't tolerant or loving in the slightest. It is a deadly spiritual and cultural poison. If you're anywhere near it, get to high ground while you still can. The title of our short-film entry to the 2013 Alex Jones contest is "The Fascists Are Coming," after all. That was eleven years ago.
Look around and tell me with a straight face that the fascists aren't here. Whether Alex Jones has to liquidate Infowars into a great cauldron of fake blood from The Creature From Jekyll Island or not.
Thanks for listening.
The Fascists Are Coming
[The screen is black. It fades up into a guy sleeping. His name is John. His significant other, a girl of any type named Judy, is sleeping beside him. They are awakened by a loud banging at the door. John walks to the door, irritated. He opens the door and, as usual, it’s his buddy Jim. John rolls his eyes and is generally dismissive, as usual. Jim is extremely sincere, and full of alarm. John is aloof and dismissive]
John: Hello, Jim.
Jim: John, wake up! The fascists are coming!
John: Yeah, yeah. Do you want some coffee?
[Jim bolts off down the hall, or next door or whatever. John shuts the door behind him. Through the door, more banging can be heard, and shouting, as Jim warns the neighbors]
Judy: Jim?
John: Yeah.
Judy: What a clown.
John: I know. At least we don’t have to set our alarm clock anymore.
Judy: I guess. Oh yeah that reminds me, what year is it anyway?
John: 2007. [Judy seems alarmed by this information, and starts to move faster]
Judy: I’m gonna be late!
John: Don’t worry. Once we get this clown out of office, everything will get better. This is a democracy, and we get to decide our own future. Everyone will have a job that gives them back their dignity, and it will be illegal to complain, because, you know, negativity sucks and it’s more fun to play pretend. That reminds me, I got you something!
Judy: [delighted] A present?
John: Yep! [he produces some mangled piece of cheap, broken garbage from behind his back. It is dripping with entrails & blood]
Judy: [still excited] What is it?
John: I’m not quite sure, but it was the last one they had. It came like this, right out of the box. [chuckling] The blood is probably from some dignified worker for the people, some poor bastard who has no freedom at all, but I saved so much money! It was so cheap in fact the store gave me a refund the instant I bought it. [pulls out a stack of money, all of it bloody]. I figure with the refund I got for buying this product of the people we can go buy something useless & disposable, you know, because it’s negative and hateful to think about the future. I crushed at least one anonymous shopper beneath my shoes to get it. [laughs at the memory] In fact I had his face stuck to my shoes, I discovered in the parking lot. I thought I had a rock or something in my shoe, [laughs], imagine my surprise when I scraped some guy’s face off with a stick. Would you like to see it? [produces a slimy, grimacing mask, also drenched in blood].
Judy: [not impressed] I dunno, where was it made.
John: [reading the tag] Made in Temecula.
Judy: Gross. I don’t want it. Probably one of those conspiracy theorists. He deserved it.
John: [smug, with satisfaction] Yes he did.
Judy: [looking back at the original gift] So what is it?
John: [as though imparting wisdom of unbelievable profundity] I have no idea. [begins to fade out, begins to sound ghostly] Absolutely no idea. No idea whatsoever, in the whole wide world. No idea at all.....
[fade to black]
Scene 2
[Loud knocking. John & Judy are in bed. John turns on the light, breaking the darkness. It is obviously early morning]
John: [sighing] Yeah, yeah, just a minute.
Judy: Tell him to go away.
John: I will. [opens door]
Jim: Wake up! The fascists are coming! [runs off. John sighs and closes the door]
Judy: Did you tell him to go away.
John: I was going to, but then he did it by himself.
Judy: Why does he come around here anyway? He knows we can’t stand him.
John: I don’t know. Hey that reminds me, what year is it, anyway?
Judy: 2008.
John: [alarmed, as though late for something] I’m going to be late for work! [relaxes] Well, you know, [laughs] not work, exactly.
Judy: [laughing] Yeah I know.
John: At least we got the illiterate capitalist out of office.
Judy: I know, right? Everything is so much better now. I mean, nothing has really changed at all, except for the slightly-worse-with-no-chance-of-ever-improving, but we’re winning!
John: I know, it’s great. McDonald’s just created 50,000 new minimum-wage, futureless jobs that no one wants, and I hear we’re going to be in Afghanistan until 2014, which is the opposite of what Obama said he was going to do, and I think he just extended the Patriot Act, but you know, he had to, because, you know, sometimes if you want to undo the work of your predecessor you have to do that same work even better, just to show the other guy how dumb he was, and wow I know, right? It’s just so great, I can’t believe we’re winning!
[closes in on his vapid, unthinking smile. fade to black]
Scene 3
[A sound of knocking. John turns on the light. He & Judy are in bed again]
John: Yeah yeah yeah, hold your horses, Paul Revere.
[opens the door]
Jim: Wake up! The fascists are coming!
John: [bleary, annoyed] Hold on a minute, man, what do you mean fascists? We have a black president. That’s like, the opposite of Hitler. The only way he could be better would be if he was a gay Jew, which he probably is, but he just can’t say it because of scary, negative people like you who would judge him for it. What’s your problem, anyway, I say in the most judgmental, self-righteous tone I can muster? Can’t you see that I’m offended?
Jim: Obama is the greatest step-and-fetch Uncle Tom of all time. No one has done more to erode the liberties and dignity of the black race than the people who have used Obama to do their dirty work. He is a willing, complicit frontman for globalist, crony-capitalist interests that are destroying our economy, and the economies of the world. While you sit back and quote catch phrases about “hope” and “change” like unthinking stooges, our economy & infrastructure are reverting back to 3rd-world level, and they’re letting it happen, in fact they’re making it happen.
John: They? Who’s they? Let me guess [snide & condescending], the fascists?
Jim: That’s right, John, the fascists. The New World Order. Did you know that on September 11, 1991, George Bush Sr. gave a speech in which he mentioned the new possibilities for a New World Order?
John: [scary voice, mockery-type] Whoah-oah, conspiracy theorist!
Jim: It’s a fact, John. 10 years later, to the day, rogue elements within the anti-American federal government told us that a bunch of guys in caves in Afghanistan got the most sophisticated national defense system in the history of the planet to stand down. Because of a “training drill.” Talk about a conspiracy! Also, for the first time in the history of physics, 2 jetliners completely pulverized on impact, leaving not so much as a landing gear or tailfin behind. I’m talking of course about the plane that supposedly hit the Pentagon, and the one that crashed in Pennsylvania. Completely pulverized on impact. On the same day, for the first time in the history of the laws of physics.
John: Psssshhht, whatever man. I don’t believe in hate. Have you seen my new phone? [Holds up phone] It’s an Obamaphone.
Jim: Yes it is. Did you know that the National Defense Authorization Act, the NDAA for short, codifies into law the indefinite detention without trial of American citizens, and that Obama signed it on New Year’s Eve 2011, while you were out getting drunk?
John: [defensively] Hey, I like getting drunk!
Jim: I’m aware of that, John, but it doesn’t change the facts. Obama is routinely used as an example of the success of the civil rights movement. Do you think Martin Luther King would have supported ANY president who signed into law a bill codifying indefinite detention without trial? Do you have any idea what that means? That means they can put you in prison forever, just because they think you might be a threat to whatever it is they want to think you’re a threat to, at any time, without trial. How is that not fascism? Has it ever occurred to you that there’s even the slightest chance you’ve even been remotely duped, even 10%?
John: Yeah but that 10% doesn’t matter, we voted! In a democracy, the people rule!
Jim: What, exactly, is it that you rule at, John?
Judy: Hey, we don’t appreciate you coming around here spouting off with your hate. You probably don’t even have a government tracking device on you at all times, one with a microphone that can be activated from a distance and which it’s impossible to remove the battery from, so you can connect with your friends, do you?
Jim: In fact I do have a phone. [produces old-school phone with cord, that you need to plug into the wall]
Judy: That’s not a phone! It’s a capitalist hate machine! I’m calling the police. Maybe I’ll get some more food stamps as a reward. [exits]
Jim: We’re not a democracy, John, we’re a constitutional republic. I don’t have time to get into it. Go to Infowars.com for more info. What year is it, anyway?
John: It’s 2015, the year of the unthinking ass. You know, according to the people’s calendar.
Jim: I’m late. Good luck, John. [Exits. John is left standing there. He stands there with a vacant look of programmed stupidity, clearly marked on his blank, unanimated features]
John: Whatever, dude.
[closes door. fade to black]
Scene 4
[Loud knocking. John turns on the light, and rises to answer the door]
John: [opening the door] I’ve had enough of this buddy, I think it’s time you stopped....
[John is slammed to the ground by 2 cops in black outfits. Judy instantly gets out of bed and starts bowing to them in religious supplication]
John: What? What? What did I do?
Cop 1: You turned off your phone for over a minute, which means we had to route the audio to your TV, laptop, toaster, and God knows how many other devices in this house that are capable of surveillance, which is illegal under statute something-or-other by vague-shadowy-government-force number whatever-it-is, which is PUNISHABLE BY DEATH. DO YOU WANT TO DIE, PUNK? DO YOU WANT TO DIE BY A LETHAL APPLICATION OF REALLY BIG KNIVES?
John: I don’t know. What do you think, honey? [looks at Judy]
Judy: Yes he does, officer, he wants to die, please take him away, kill him however you want, just don’t hurt him please, throw him in jail and lock away the key, please don’t hurt him. Here’s a drawing of a gun you can use.
Cop 2: You know it’s illegal to have a drawing of a gun in the house, ma’am. I could have you instantly destroyed for possession of irrelevant, innocuous contraband.
Judy: [brightens] Really? Does that mean the ultimate cowardice could finally be mine?
Cop 2: Yes, ma’am, it does. Would you like to commit yourself to the ultimate cowardice? It wouldn’t be the first time now, would it?
Judy: Oh no, I’ve been a nanny state bootlicker ever since I can remember.
Cop 2: Well, come along then.
Judy: What about our apartment?
Cop 1: It belongs to the Chinese. I see your place is loaded to the gills with Chinese slave goods. They should feel right at home when they move in.
Judy: What a relief.
John: Can I keep my Obamaphone?
[Cop 1 turns and punches him in the gut. John doubles over to the floor]
Cop 1: Shut it, punk! [puts a black hood over his head]
John: I can’t see!
Cop 2: [sneering] That’s nothing new.
John: What about Jim?
Cop 1: Who is this “Jim?” Does he have a Facebook?
John: [from behind the hood] I don’t know, he said he didn’t believe in posting his whereabouts for the evening on a police station bulletin board, if you can believe it. How is he going to connect with his friends?
Judy: He didn’t have any friends, LOL. Is that right? I probably meant to say OMG. I’m sorry. Please kill me for the earth.
Cop 1: This “Jim” sounds like someone we’d be very interested in meeting. [puts a hood over Judy’s head. The cops start to lead the couple out of the apartment] Can you tell us more about him?
Judy: He was a hater.
John: He really hated us.
[Cop 1 & 2 give each other a knowing look]
Cop 1: Yes, we know the type. Tell us more, slave.
John: He didn’t have a phone.
Judy: He didn’t have any friends. Hey what year is it? We’re not going to be late for anything, are we?
Cop 2: It’s too late already, ma’am.
Judy: Well that’s a relief.
[walking away]
[fade to black]
©Nathan Payne
January 26, 2013
