Once upon a time, I used to enjoy writing trippy, epic poems.  I would write them in hotel rooms full of bugs, with bloodstains on the wall, staring out the window at the flashing, crazy city.  The first poem to ever appear in any kind of collection was "Sain't," written while sitting on the windowsill drinking wine in a hotel in Chinatown in San Francisco, sometime in the late 90's.  The title is the best part of the poem, and isn't true anymore either, God willing.

None of the poems are true anymore.

Which doesn't mean that they aren't true.  They're just not true anymore.

My only spoken-word album to date, Stumblefish is a collection of strange writings from the early 2000's.  "Zen AF" was written in the St. Moritz Hotel on Sunset Blvd. in Los Angeles in early 2003, when it used to be a transient hotel.  It's a nice apartment building now.  A wordplay on the phrase "dope sick," "Soap Dick/I'm a Rat" was written in Los Angeles at the end of 2002.  The "I'm a Rat" part refers to the scavenger lifestyle to which I'd become accustomed, but was perceived by certain criminal friends of mine to mean that I was a snitch.  This misunderstanding kept me out of a certain amount of trouble, I have no doubt.

Ah, the dark and gloopy past.

"Zen AF" was written long before "AF" was a thing, and the title is spelled out in the original version.  I saw a T-shirt recently that had the praying hands on it with the caption "Christian AF" and I had to shake my head.  Aside from the been-there-done-that factor, there's the half-assery inherent in abbreviating the obscene and worthless sentiment.  When I went for it, I went all the way.  I only abbreviate it now because I don't want to spell it out, but not because I'm following a trend that thinks "AF" is somehow a new and edgy statement.  I was bored with it over a decade ago.  I have long-since moved along.  Now it's a thing, and even the fake and/or cowardly Christians who are afraid to be holy lest they be perceived as weak or uncool by people who are going to hate them anyway, have pathetically embraced it.  

Don't embrace it.  And if you're going to use it, use it right.  Embrace it.  Spell it out like the badass you think you are, or wish you were.  I only post it now because it's part of my personal history.  I'm glad to be able to abbreviate it.  The title always bothered me.  I find it stupid and embarrassing.  But it was true at the time.  Thank God, it isn't true anymore.

Behold, the idiotic compromise:

At any rate, Stumblefish also happens to be the most-collaborative thing I've ever done, with some of the music on "Washington Square Park" provided by Thaddeus Jaworsky, and "Special" being written and performed entirely by an actor friend of mine in New York (I produced it).  Thaddeus Jaworsky is an independent film director who made the music video for "The Black Dahlia," among other films and videos.  Check out his channel here, if you like:

https://www.youtube.com/user/Thad11

"Sain't," "Zen AF," and many other early pieces are available in the Sideburns in the Sun collection, available on Smashwords:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/170542

A high-quality version of Stumblefish is available via private download code on Bandcamp (contact me for details).  There is also a promotional poster available on my Merch page:

https://shop.spreadshirt.com/pablo-smog/stumblefish+poster

Thanks for listening,