Raising Your Standards

By Nathan Payne | pablosmoglives | 29 Jun 2022

"All women are aware of that moment when suddenly the boys don't look at you.  It's a fairly common thing, when suddenly you no longer attract that instant male attention because of the way you look."  Julie Christie

"Even the finest sword plunged into salt water will eventually rust."  Sun Tzu


In the wake of the overturning of Roe v. Wade, #SexStrike has been trending on social media.  To protest the court's decision, people are suddenly deciding to withhold sex from others, including their spouses.  Presumably, not being "able" to sleep with people who've abandoned their personal standards is supposed to be a great loss.  However, like taking the rug off of a trapdoor in the middle of the kitchen floor, a secret door that opens onto a pit 40 feet deep, the bottom of which is covered with razor-sharp spikes large enough to impale an elephant (the elephant in the room, perhaps), and not only sealing it shut, but filling the entire deadly apparatus with concrete so as to render it incapable of ever damaging anyone again, #SexStrike is not a loss.

It's an opportunity.  A long-awaited chance for everyone to raise their personal standards.

People who engage in identity politics have no idea who they are.  They have settled for a mediocre compromise.  How better to shortchange yourself than, for example, to make your preferred method of achieving orgasm a cornerstone of who you are?  It's not merely something I do, it's who I am.

I like chicks.  So, sleeping with them is not only something I like to do but is in fact the most-important aspect of who I am? 

That's what they believe, and what they want us to believe.  That what we do is who we are.

At some level, of course, it's not untrue.  What you do (and what you like to do) is determined in large part by who you are.  But if what you like to do is determined by who you are,

Is who you are determined by what you like to do?

Is what you like to do more than merely a facet of the jewel of who you are, but rather, the jewel in its entirety?

And if it is,

Are you actually going to stop there?

Is that the end of your search?  Finding out what gets you off? 

That's as far as you're going to go?

If it is, you will probably believe you are withholding an inner treasure of extraordinary value and importance by telling people you're not going to have sex with them anymore.

And you're right.  Your sexuality is a treasure of extraordinary value and importance, and you shouldn't have sex with them anymore.  You shouldn't have been having sex with them in the first place.  You should have more self-respect than to treat other people as the mere subject of your idolatry.  If your sex-drive is the object of your idolatry to the point that it's a cornerstone of your identity, then subjecting other people to it is extremely disrespectful, at best.  Who are you to make me a slave to your false god, anyway, an Egyptian Pharaoh?  If your god so important that you can withhold the power and blessing of it from me,

Doesn't it stand to reason that you should perhaps withhold it from yourself?

It should. 

And I hope it does.


I have never been gay, not for a day in my life.  And I resist sleeping with women with at least a 90% success rate (too low).  When this happens, sometimes the girl will feel "rejected," and will resent me for this "rejection." 

It's not rejection.  It is in fact a sign of mutual respect.  I not only respect you more than to treat you like the subject of an idolatry I neither have nor want, I respect myself too much to make my desire to sleep with you the object of my worship.  I might think you're super-hot, funny and pretty and smart and cute and all the rest of it, and it is for that reason I don't want to sleep with you.

If you're that great (and you are, to someone), why would I rush to throw you naked into the dirt, so we can roil around like idiotic pigs in the putrid filth of our own unchecked desire?

Wouldn't it be better (and wouldn't you prefer it?) if instead I was attracted to the entirety of who you are, and respected your whole person, as opposed to just your physical attributes and surface appearance?

Doesn't that sound better?

Isn't that what you want?

It's what I want.  Any idiot can rip off their clothes and march down the street screaming about federal laws that perhaps should never have been enacted in the first place, even if millions of deaths weren't at stake; it takes an excellent person to RESIST the desire to rip off their clothes and be an exhibitionist.  It takes an excellent person to RESPECT THEMSELVES and stop putting their weak, apparently-uncontrollable need to get laid at the forefront of their own manufactured "identity."  It takes an excellent person to have some SELF-CONTROL, not only with their own desires, but with any temptation to make these desires the cornerstone of who they are.

You don't have to adopt these principles (though I recommend it), but as far as I'm concerned, if your sexual desire is who you are, you're not good enough for me.

If you can't control yourself, you're not good enough for me.

If you're only now withholding something which you should have been withholding from me the instant we met, so that we can get to know each other, rather than flail around on the surface of the bloody shark tank of our own unquestioned, unrestrained desires, like idiots,

You're not good enough for me.

And I would expect you to feel the same about me.

Unless you're my wife, of course.  Withholding sex from your spouse is an act of loveless, power-tripping evil.


This "Sex Strike" is an opportunity for everyone to raise their standards.  If someone you know is withholding their body from you as an act of punishment, run from them as though your life depended on it (which it probably does).  They're not good enough for you.  This is your chance. 

Don't miss it.

If you're one of those who thinks that by withholding sex from people, you are engaged in an act of great political importance, the coming months (and hopefully years) of never getting laid are an excellent opportunity for you to raise your standards.  This is your chance.  Like your body and personal standards, don't throw it away.

Good luck to all of you.

Thanks for listening.



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Nathan Payne
Nathan Payne

I am a songwriter and bandleader who travels the world in search of the golden ticket. http://www.pablosmoglives.com


Replacing my blog at http://pablosmoglives.wordpress.com

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