"The musicians to have rest on the Sabbath Day, but the other
six days and nights, none without special favour."
Article XI of the Code of Bartholomew Roberts

Gibbeting is a practice in which the dead or dying bodies of criminals are hanged in cages as a deterrence to the public from engaging in similar activities.  It is most often used for traitors, robbers, murderers, highwaymen, social media influencers, and pirates.  In centuries past, the gruesome display was limited to putting corpses inside literal metal cages, and was generally done against the will of the condemned.

Like this:

Today, gibbeting is seen as an alternative lifestyle, and is engaged in as a consensual act by the enslaved, unthinking masses.  Most employers can view the gibbet history of any prospective employees simply by scrolling through their social media posts.  While gibbet makers in centuries past tended to be blacksmiths, today the famous gibbeters have fancy names like "Instagram," "Facebook," and "OnlyFans."

Also, the decaying corpses of 18th-century criminal influencers were generally seen as "pestilential," and detrimental to the public health.  The disgraceful acts on display in 21st-century gibbet cages are also seen as pestilential, but since the people hanging their own corpses from the digital gallows are generally non-criminal, the practice has yet to receive the widespread derision it deserves.

Which is why I've decided to run away and join a roving band of pirate horses.

The pirate horses are a benevolent race of seafaring artistic geniuses who adhere to a strict code of pirate ethics.  Since the script has been flipped, and the mainland is now the main source of pestilential weirdness, rot, and decay, the high seas of international horse power are where excellence and reason now lie.

It's a better way of life.  For example, in keeping with the Code of Bartholomew Roberts, every man and horse has a vote in affairs of moment, has equal title to the fresh provisions, or strong liquors, at any time seized, and may use them at pleasure.  Fighting is strictly prohibited, as is gambling for money.  Every man and horse is also expected to keep their piece, pistols, and cutlass clean and fit for service.  Implements of art, writing, and music are included in this provision.  Boys and women are also not allowed on board, and any man or horse who smuggles a woman or mare onto the ship for purposes of lasciviousness shall be compelled to suffer death.

In the world of the Pirate Horses of the Invisible Caribbean, the punishment for engaging in narcissist disregard toward your fellow crew members is extreme.

And with restrictions for narcissistic self-gibbeting in place, the potential for excellence in musical firepower is unlimited.  The 11th article of the Code of Bartholomew Roberts clearly states that NONE of the musicians on board the ship of pirate horses will be "without special favour."  That means that, if you're a musician, you will be treated better by equine pirates out at sea than you will by a bunch of self-gibbeting social-media "influencers" marooned on the mainland of mainstream tyranny and desire.  Not only do you get the sabbath off, but on the 6 days of the week you are working, you're treated with dignity, respect, and honor.

Sounds great.  Cruisin' the de-gibbeted Caribbean on a ship full of animals and music, anchoring in exotic harbors con los caballos piratas with a direct say in any and all affairs of the moment, and the freedom to use any and all provisions seized, at pleasure?

Count me in.

Beats life on the self-gibbeting mainland.  I mean, let's get real.  The last 4 years of the American presidency are the longest case of political gibbeting in history.  The policies of the suicidal corpse-in-chief hanging from the television gallows indeed are pestilential.  But if you had any doubts that a life of freedom with guitar-playing pirate horses whose outlaw ethics are demonstrably higher than those practiced on the mainland, watch this video of a recent mass public gibbeting in Brazil.  Most people don't know that the "G" in G20 stands for "gibbeting."  Look at all the world leaders gibbeting themselves on the world stage, for everyone to see.  So shameless.  Shameful.  Sameful.  Sho extremely sameful.

Extremely so, and shameful.  A mass public gibbeting, billed as a "global alliance against hunger and poverty."  Please.  Watch this video and tell me you're not going to be scanning the shoreline for weird ships piloted by pirate horses, so that you can become a stowaway on the seas of sonic excellence.  Especially if you're a musician.  What's better, hosting open mic for a bunch of dancing nurses who want to commit suicide by Russia, or jamming out with guitar-playing horses who have a killer sense of pirate style, anchored in the harbor of an island that isn't even on the map?

If you're a Pirate Horse of the Invisible Caribbean at heart,

It's not a choice at all.