How To Become The Poor Man's False Christ

By Nathan Payne | pablosmoglives | 19 May 2022

"But there were false prophets also among the people, even as there shall be false teachers among you, who privily shall bring in damnable heresies, even denying the Lord that bought them, and bring upon themselves swift destruction."  2 Peter 2:1

Jesus Christ talked about false prophets and false Christs who would appear in the last days.  Search for "False Christs" on YouTube and take your pick from any number of bombast egomaniacs; there is no shortage.  Shopping for a saviour has never been easier.  The market is saturated with smug, self-satisfied control freaks who are into extortion, lies, and emotional abuse.  Why settle for the real thing, which requires faith, when you can have a fake on demand?  An instant, fast-food Christ standing in front of you and pontificating about peace, right now, on the corner in front of the Chinese restaurant.  Like buying a fake Rolex from a guy on the sidewalk, instead of spending your life savings on the real thing.  Much better, right?   Do you prefer an Asian forgery, or the Russian variety?  You want your Jesus to be fluent in Spanish and curse like a sailor?  You're covered.  There's a guy in Mexico who thinks he's Jesus, uses bad language, and declared war on the cartels a few years ago.  I can't find him anywhere.  I wonder if the cartels made him prove his divinity by walking on a lake of sulfuric acid.

It's possible.

"Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.  For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect."  Matthew 24:23-24

There's a parallel passage in Mark 13 that says the same thing, if you want to look it up.

I knew a guy in Jerome, Arizona who thought he was Jesus.  He lived in a cave and walked around with a staff and carried a full-size hardcover dictionary in his backpack with him everywhere and took lots of psychedelic drugs and told me in so many words that he was Jesus Christ.  He wanted followers.  I told him I wouldn't follow him across the street to buy another 6-pack, but I'd walk alongside him to buy it, if he deigned to split it with me.  He was alright.  We were friends.  But he was seriously deceived.  I quit drinking around that time and told him pointblank, as a friend, about his spiritual condition.  He was the type who would have listened.  He relapsed on speed, I think, while I was in New Mexico for a couple months, and by the time I got back to town he was persona non grata.  He was no longer welcome.  He'd sold some guy's guitar for drug money, or something, and felt terrible about it.  He was really repentant.  I was glad to see him again, but he was afraid to be there and skipped town immediately after I returned.

I haven't seen him since.  If you're reading this buddy, God loves you.  Dios te bendiga.

Here's a spoken-word EP I produced for him.  You can also download it for free on my Bandcamp.  Aside from not having any way to forward him the money, he's the type who would want it to be available for free anyway.  He existed in that grey area between the amateur and the professional:  The Believer.  The amateur won't think they're worthy of getting paid, the professional won't be able to do it without getting paid (usually), but The Believer will take the privilege in spreading the self-perceived wisdom he believes he has as payment.  He's closer to an amateur than a professional, but his unwavering faith in what he's doing separates him from the beer-belly rocker who shows up to drink a gallon of whiskey and play a few songs on open mic night.  As Dylan observed in "Desolation Row," "her profession is her religion; her sin is her lifelessness."  If The Believer takes mushrooms, begs for money alongside the street urchins outside of Walmart, and lives in a cave, he's probably not "lifeless," but unlike the professional writer or musician, his religion is definitely his profession.  At any rate, the album from my friend, one of those Poor Man's False Christs you're starting to see with increasing regularity:

So, what is a Poor Man's False Christ?  We tend to think about these would-be Jesus characters in grandiose terms, since that's how they generally portray themselves, but is there such a thing as a Poor Man's False Christ?  Is there a demand for a middle-class (or lower) would-be savior gone mad from lockdowns and quarantine?  Some guy spouting off at the froth about seatbelt laws and medical insurance, talking about how he's never going to die, can look directly into the sun, and who is filled with judgment and disconsolate rage toward his detractors?  And if so, is there a supply to meet the demand?

Like the spiritual hustler who sells knockoff Christs from the trunk of his car, Satan has led another lost soul into the dubious profession of furious, misanthropic self-aggrandizement.  I'm guessing this guy is from Australia, and has gone mad from lockdown.  I can't embed a Bitchute video here, but check out this video with the title, "You Are All Dead Carcasses Until You Follow Me."  Spoken with the meek, supernatural patience and love of the one true God whose entire purpose for being born into this world was to live a sinless life and die as an atoning sacrifice for the sins of mankind, this guy clearly states "Faith in Jesus Christ means nothing" at the 2:44 mark.  God help him:


The differences between the statements "I am the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6), and "you are all dead carcasses until you follow me" are myriad and too obvious to state.  Where, exactly, does this guy think he's leading anybody?  Like my trippy drug friend from Jerome I wouldn't "follow" across the street, he is probably compensating for some kind of rejection issues, perhaps some emotional and/or verbal abuse suffered in the past, and has gone mad from a broken heart and too much time alone.  Locked too long in a house or apartment with nothing to do but justify the reason for your own existence and think.  Both of which are worthwhile endeavors, but which are best when interspersed with long walks through the country, or the busy city center, through the park, by the sea, in the sun, the rain, the snails the snow the sleet, anything,

just to get out of the house.

I'm guessing, of course.  I don't even know if those things are true about my friend, nevermind this guy.  I'm just speculating.  Videos with titles like "Death And Depression Are The Same Thing" give you a clue, however, and indicate that this guy is probably making a valiant effort to win the battle against the demons that are telling him he's Jesus while simultaneously condemning him to the hellish feeling of being angry and depressed.  He might even win a few skirmishes, even if he's losing the war by thinking he's an actual, famous deity in the first place.  And let it be clearly understood:  I'm Not Trying To Make Fun Of The Guy.  This is a cautionary tale.  I feel bad for him.  In a good way, I hope.  Nothing patronizing about it.  I think we should all take stock of ourselves so that we don't fall into the same trap.

What am I saying?  Am I tempted toward messianic thinking?  Do I think it's a common pitfall, which requires most if not all people to make at least a semi-conscious effort to avoid?

I think this guy shows us that it's possible, yes.  Likely?  Probably not.  But with the forced destruction of your social life, locked into a room, probably loveless, living on UBI and government rations in a land full of people who still believe masks work and preach down to you like a leper about it, screaming, and where you're fined for not wearing a seatbelt,

Yes.  I think this guy proves that it's possible.  People in China are throwing themselves out of high-rise apartment buildings rather than live another hour in a hopeless situation...... God help them and this guy and all of us, but who knows:  Maybe this guy's delusions of grandeur are the only thing keeping him from suicide.

It's too horrible to think about.  But people are dying every day from the nightmare imposed on us by Satan's minions, all around the world.  And the carnage will only increase.  It will never subside.  Not until the real Christ comes back and wipes the entire works into the fiery sea of final judgment.

It is going to drive a lot of people mad.  I don't think any of us are exempt.  We might not be driven to messianic delusions, but we might lose hope and get morbidly depressed to the point of taking a handful of pills with the intention of never waking up again.  Maybe it will cross our minds to jump out of a building in Shanghai, tired of listening to drones preach to us about curfew while flying by our window.  The window through which the sound of our neighbors screaming is louder than the birds.  Maybe we'll turn ourselves into what Jim Morrison called "street pizza" in New York if the economy continues to crater.  Or maybe we'll shove somebody into the approaching subway train, because we're petty deities in our own right, and have given ourselves the right to decide who lives or dies. 

Like Nazis, or gods.

It happens every day.  And it doesn't happen in a vacuum.  It happens here.  In the real world.  Every day.

So, to answer the question in the title, "how to become the poor man's false Christ," I think the answer is everywhere.  Maybe even in the mirror.

The real question is, how NOT to become the poor man's false Christ?  Even if that false Christ is a "good person" (self-righteous), donates canned goods to food banks, visits children in the hospital, and saves spiders from the shower before turning the water on, how do we resist the tendency to become our own lowercase gods?

We have to turn to the real Christ. 

There is no other way.

Thanks for listening.


"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."  John 14:6

"Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.  Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand."  Ephesians 6:11-13





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Nathan Payne
Nathan Payne

I am a songwriter and bandleader who travels the world in search of the golden ticket.


Replacing my blog at

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