"Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." Matthew 10:16
"Behold, I send you forth as circus freaks in the midst of businessmen: be ye therefore wise as comedians, and harmless as privacy advocates." When Doves Attack 8:08
Beware the Ides of Bob O'Clock.
Of the hour of Bob O'Clock, knoweth no man. Not even Bob.
Bob O'Clock is the hour of time.
When Doves Attack is the blasphemous unholy book of the cult of Bob O'Clock. The title refers to the animalification of the conscience, the knowledge of good and evil that allows man to plumb the depths of virtue and soar to the heights of degradation and vice in ways the other animals simply cannot. In Bob O'Clockian theology, the conscience is depicted as an aggressive dove with vampire teeth. The peaceful, bloodthirsty monster lives on the guilt of the vile and unrepentant, those who choose not to accept the atonement of their sins by the blood of Christ. In the Bob O'Clockian canon, Noah is depicted as a kind of seafaring Vlad The Impaler who travels the world on a jet-ski in search of victims upon which he can unleash the deadly power of his guilty conscience.
What a tool.
Adherents to Bob O'Clockian theology are hard to find. Most of them spend their lives trying to dig their way through mountains of guilt and unforgiveness with an undead bird, a process which has been made intentionally impossible by the Bob O'Clockians themselves. But at the hour of our time, 8:08 to be exact, observant Bob O'Clockians stage a reading from When Doves Attack in the abandoned theater buried like a sense of true forgiveness, deep within their souls.
Sometimes, they even quote the 55th Psalm from the privacy and discomfort of their own neglected sense of moral culpability.
It's sad, but they are far from hopeless.
"And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest." Psalm 55:6
Rest easy, tormented ones. There is hope for anyone who still suffers from dove attacks. Don't hide from them. Learn to embrace the moments when those peaceful creatures come swooping down in your soul like a symbol of Godly sorrow, which leadeth to repentance. It is neither necessary to harden one's conscience, nor invent a mythology around a jet-ski-riding patriarch who carries a bloodthirsty dove around with him to inflict moral terror on the survivors of a watery apocalypse. Noah The Impaler is an archetypal figure of deflected moral culpability that can be found in every false comic book theology from here to California, and beyond.
Reject him. Own your sins today. Throw them at the foot of the cross. You'll feel better.
I promise.
"For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death." 2 Corinthians 7:10
