"[Meshes of the Afternoon] does not record an event which could be
witnessed by other persons. Rather, it reproduces the way in which the
subconscious of an individual will develop, interpret, and elaborate
an apparently simple and casual incident into
a critical emotional experience."
Maya Deren

"Totally."
Pablo Smog

Meshes of the Afternoon is an experimental film by Maya Deren and her husband, Alexandr Hackenschmied.  "Birthday Song For The Dead" is a demo recording I made during the "House of Warship" years in Chicago.  The film's circular narrative mirrors that of the song, repeating several motifs: a flower on a long driveway, a flying worm, a falling key, a lying tree, a desire to self-extinguish, a 40 of Olde English, a lost car, an unlocked door, a broken head, a knife in a loaf of bread, a ballroom nuke, the gospel of puke, a flood of wine, a bloody sign

Hanging like a disembodied spine over

The rising, mustard race, a mysterious cloaked figure with a mirror for a face, a boiled nose, a pile of clothes, a smashed, empty bottle of Wild Irish Rose, a sideways look, a broken book, a phone off the hook, and an ocean.

Thanks for listening.

Link to video on Bitchute:

Birthday Song For The Dead

Let's get married
in the backseat of my car
I want to bathe
in the warm water of your arms

Cuz I will love you
until the day I die
I only hope that day
hasn't passed me by

The walls of our hotel room
are as thin as your dress
I promise you paradise
but you're not impressed

And you're cursing
into the telephone
you won't sleep with me tonight
but you won't sleep alone

My windows are broken
and raped by rocks
your words say nothing
your silence talks

The cellar is flooded
the worms have wings
you say so much
when you don't say a thing

My conscience
I have finally killed
my spirit
like wine is spilled

I drank the blood
from my own wrists
I found the cure
for happiness

©1998 Nathan Payne