Adverse Effects of Denial

Adverse Effects of Denial

By Nathan Payne | pablosmoglives | 29 Jun 2021

When I lived in Austin, there was an organization that provided health care for musicians.  I don't know if it's still there.  It was called HAAM, the Health Alliance for Austin Musicians.  You had to live in Travis County, TX, and prove that you were a working musician.  They didn't make it difficult to join.  It wasn't a government program.  It wasn't insurance.  The program reduced your deductible to around $100 per visit to a general practitioner.  Other procedures cost more money, but were still significantly reduced.  Dental care was free.  You had to go to the dentist on special, pre-planned days, and the one time I went it was a huge bus parked in the parking lot of a major club on S. Congress.  The bus was painted with childish dental cartoons.  It was (and maybe still is) a great program.

I didn't know anything about anything back then, and got some kind of vaccine on one of my doctor visits, since I couldn't remember the last time I had been vaccinated for anything.  I told this girl I knew, and she asked me point-blank, "are you an idiot?"  This would have been in 2007.

Alex Jones was on cable access in Austin at the time, and it was around then that I first started to get "red-pilled."  My friend and I didn't have a computer in the shotgun shack we shared, which was on my friend's brother's property in East Austin, and the one TV was broken so that the screen was extremely dark.  Watching a movie, you could see shapes of cars and people and other objects, but the images were mostly indiscernible.  We called it the Dark TV.  It was better than nothing.  But you could see the shape of Alex Jones sitting behind a card table on the local public TV channel, and it was like watching the radio.  

I think Alex Jones peaked in the early part of the last decade, maybe the end of the 2000s, when The Obama Deception came out.  I used to listen to him a lot when I was a cabdriver in Austin.  He was on 90.9FM, which was a station that hosted a lot of interesting people.  It was the kind of station you'd listen to if you weren't interested in what the corporate media had to say.  

I attended a speaking event by G. Edward Griffin, in which there were no empty seats.  It seemed like there were more people un-afraid of "conspiracy theories" than there were people who maligned them.

Because of this, the so-called "Snowden Revelations" were not a revelation to me.  I thought (and still think) it was a noble and heroic thing he did, but nothing he said was news to me.  I thought it was common knowledge.

The information has been available for a long time.  Meaning, information about pretty much anything.  In fact, at this point, I think being unaware of this information takes conscious effort.  A choice has to be made:  A choice of ignorance.  You have to choose to be ignorant.  There is no excuse.

I don't binge on it, but I watch the occasional "adverse side effects from the vaccine" video, and my thoughts are always a mixture of 2 things:  Sadness, and a repeat of what that girl said to me 14 years ago:  "Are you an idiot?"  Are you that busy watching Netflix serials (21st-century soap operas) and working as a waitress that you are COMPLETELY UNAWARE of what's going on in the real world?  Are you having that much fun engaging in drunken, empty sex to have NO CONCEPT WHATSOEVER about doing anything more responsible than paying the rent and the phone bill?  Are you an idiot?

I am never happy or pleased to watch videos of these crying people shaking in bed and breaking out in a death-rash.  It isn't the same as hearing about Kool-Aid-drinking liberals getting hacked to pieces while taking a bicycle tour of the Middle East.  Which is sad, but that takes another level of conscious irresponsibility.  Those people actually asked for it, and I don't think most "good people" are THAT good.  Trying to prove the good nature of people by hiking through an Islamic country in a sun dress takes a level of self-righteousness that is in fact begging to be punished, though surely not consciously.  It is sad, but not as sad as watching people convulse on their bed because they're too busy playing video games and laughing and eating at McDonald's to learn about anything that their bobblehead peers dismiss as a "conspiracy theory."

I have a theory of conspiracy theories.  You can read it here if you like:

The real point I'm getting at is to encourage those people who have been "red-pilled" to look deeper into the shadows of what polite society considers anathema.  Namely, that sin is real, evolution is a lie, Jesus is God, and everything that means.  The vaccine casualties are a red flag to a deeper issue.  They are proof that it is possible to be completely irresponsible, even as you pay the rent and take care of all surface responsibilities.  Obviously, their "goodness" hasn't protected them; in fact, it's naivete posing as virtue.  This naivete is not limited to vaccine casualties and people who voted for Hillary Clinton.  Don't get stuck in an eddy of flat-earth, Jew-hating reptilianism, or self-righteous new-age enlightenment techniques, or even nihilism (black-pilling), which is in fact a rational response to a world without hope.  Realize that your hopelessness and lack of faith in the world is NOT mis-spent, but don't stop there and become a casualty of denial like the bobbleheads who take the vaccine.  Stop believing in the world, stop expecting it to follow through or be worthwhile in any way, and get get right God.  Start with the book of John.  In Matthew 7:7, Jesus said, "seek and ye SHALL find."  He doesn't say, you might find.  Or, you might find, if you give the control freak in the stupid hat all your money.  He says you will find.

He doesn't say you can't discard what you find, because you're too in love with yourself to hold onto it.  Don't make that mistake.  Watch the zombie hordes growing around you, observe the way their dismissive laughter leads them to their doom, and refuse to join their ranks.

Thanks for listening.




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Nathan Payne
Nathan Payne

I am a songwriter and bandleader who travels the world in search of the golden ticket.


Replacing my blog at

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