No Right or Wrong Way to Grieve.

By Olawalium | Olawalium | 23 Feb 2022


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Have you ever lost someone that you see something that reminds you of them every time? Have you ever been so close to tears no matter how hard you try to stop it from coming as you see reminders of how things used to be? I believe most of us have lost one or two people that meant the world to us but life happened and we were left clutching to their memories alone.

There were days you can't help but remember them because you are scared that if you don't, their memories might slip away from you. The painful thing about losing someone is that you can never forget their face for the last time you saw them. It is an image that can never leave you and you would never want anything or anyone to distort that figure you are desperately holding on to.

We have all been dealt a huge blow in life with the ones we have lost, at least, most people, if not all. We always see life from a different perspective when we lose someone. Nothing else matters and things get more value and for some, nothing else makes sense anymore. Many have lost themselves because of the person they lost while for some, they found themselves with the passage of a loved one. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief and we hurt differently and heal differently too.

Most people want you to heal as fast as you can because they did. What worked for you can't work for me and healing is a process that cannot be skipped else you risk a lot which would be deferred to the future. We need to allow people to heal the way they can because most people still cannot get over the initial shock of losing someone they love and they can't help but lash out at others.

I've said many times that a lot of people go through a lot but we might not know it. Someone right beside you might be completely broken but you won't have a hint because we don't know what most people are dealing with underneath. A lot of people have lashed out unprovoked with a simple question and you begin to wonder if they are okay upstairs. Of course, they are okay but they sometimes act on impulse without thinking straight.

Have you ever spoken to someone and they end up saying something completely different to the line of discussion and yet they get angry at you for no reason? We really need to be tender with people and ask questions, if they are willing to open up. Most people want someone they can at least trust, so we have to make ourselves trusted. Some people just need someone to hear them out, they don't even need your material possessions.

This song always makes me remember my dad and it's the first song I download on my phone every time I change my phone. It gets me teary-eyed and I can't help it. There is just something about the song, the rendition, the lyrics, the tune and the emotions that came with it. There is this passion, this message and of course, the sincerity in the delivery of that song and you would understand where the artist was coming from if you have ever lost anyone so close to you.

Title of Song: "Dance With My Father"
Artist: Luther Vandross.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/wmDxJrggie8

For fear of using content that isn't mine, I can't share the lyrics with you but I would love you to listen to it to feel the emotions as deeply as the artist felt. That song keeps dad's memory fresh in my head and it wasn't because he loved that song when he was alive, no, it was because I could relate to the artist regarding this song. When dad was alive, he loved: "When A Man Loves A Woman" and also a few of Westlife's songs but none of them brings me closer to him than this Luther Vandross' song.

I have different songs for each of the family members I have lost and the one that draws me closer to my late sister is "Seasons In The Sun" by West Life

Title: "Seasons In The Sun"
Artist: West Life.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/Xdv83MFJd7U

This always makes me remember my sister that passed away as far back as 1998. As young as we were then, I was the only one who share a room with her, being the youngest. She was warm, kind, tender, sweet, charming, cute and of course, gentle and quiet. I still have her image in my head despite being so young and this song would ever remain fresh in my head.

The song that draws me closer to my late mum happens to be Puff Daddy's song which he dedicated to Aaliyah due to the plane crash she suffered.

Title of Song: "I'll Be Missing You"
Artist: Puff Daddy feat. Faith Evans and 112.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/NKMtZm2YuBE

And lastly, this song makes me remember all of them together, in a flash. You know, when you can't pick one memory out but you are overwhelmed with emotions at the same time? That's the feeling I get when I listen to this song dedicated to the Fast and Furious guy; Paul Walker.

Title of Song: "See You Again"
Artist: Wiz Khalifa feat. Charlie Puth.
Video Link: https://youtu.be/RgKAFK5djSk

Have you ever lost a loved one? What draws you closer to them? The smell of others that was like theirs? Someone's voice? Their favourite movie? A particular song? I would love to know. It's okay not to be okay... We are humans after all... We bleed emotions.


This post also appeared here and it's my original work on my blog on [Read.Cash](https://read.cash/@Olasquare/no-right-or-wrong-way-to-grieve-f8858218).


Thank you for your time.


My pen doesn't bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love's chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor's order.

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Olawalium
Olawalium

Writer. Motivational speaker. Farmer. Relationship coach. God lover.


Olawalium
Olawalium

God's son. Giver. Motivational Speaker. Relationship coach. Writer. Poet. Football lover...

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